Buddy, the Thai Guy Neighbor in Surin-part 9

[Central Scrutinizer]

Buddy, the Thai Guy Neighbor in Surin-part 9

 

Some Observations and Stories on Middle Class Thai Men

 

 

 

 

Face, a universal concept taken to various extremes around the world. It has it?s place in all societies to one degree or another. Respect, or lack thereof, to ones ?supposed? betters. It?s been the death of many a poor peasant to be sure. Europe has it own versions of this concept. It?s the pecking order. The elite classes. The rich class, the middle class, the poor. All have their pecking orders, and their rules to be applied when each deals with the other, within their own class even. Thailand is very class conscious. There exists a distinct, at least in the eyes of the Thais once they figure it out, pecking order, and many rules within to deal with this. We farang are at a disadvantage at times because we haven?t grown up in this and haven?t the knowledge, at least in the Thai way of these things. We only have our own versions of face to draw on, and I?m afraid our class wars have pretty much destroyed the pecking orders of the past, at least in the states, and it pretty much falls down to who has the most money, or who is big enough to kick some serious ass, that establishes how we treat others, besides the way we were taught by our parents to behave. A lot of Americans could care less about your or anyone?s ?face?. It?s mostly ?I treat others as I would want to be treated?, or pretty much this way I feel. There isn?t much deference to someone?s face unless they are famous or very rich, and then it?s done mostly to ward off the harm (or favors bestowed) that maybe could be done one by the rich, and powerful, and famous. We call it ?kissing up? where I come from, and it is frowned upon as being unmanly. Sychophant-ish behavior is beneath a man?s dignity. Oh, it?s done all the time, we have many kiss-asses here in the US, (I worked with quite a few) but, most see it for what it is, and think it disgusting behavior in a person. It?s even seen in the, supposedly, lowest of classes and people, who actually seem to hold it in much higher regard than most amongst themselves. Take in point the prison culture of the USA and the ?dis? factor. People are killed for being perceived as ?disrespecting? another. As in, ?he dissed me, so I capped the mofo.? or whatever the current parlance is today. I really don?t keep up with it lately. Face is the application of showing respect in accordance to one?s position in the society, or to your ability to do harm to the ?disser? or the one who makes you lose face. No more, no less, really. Most people would undoubtedly not give a flying fuck about your face, or show you respect, unless not doing so would in some way cause them some sort of harm in one way or another. This of course doesn?t include those that for some reason truly deserve a showing of respect, (there can be many reasons why a person deserves respect) and the fact that in a civilized society showing a modicum of respect for one?s fellow citizens is the polite way to go through life and have a vibrant and civil society that one would want to live in, and can keep one from getting an ass whupping. Anything else will create chaos and violence. Respect is necessary for a society to prosper and thrive, but only, in my opinion, in the sense that everyone is equal and deserving of respect unless otherwise behaving in a manner where they lose this deserving. I don?t, though, particularly like the false constructions built by a class society of ?false? respect, or, for lack of a better way to put it right now, the ?royalist? version practiced by most Asian societies. I don?t like it, but, ?When in Rome? and all that. I see this stuff a lot while in Thailand. Face is a big part of Thai life, whether you buy into it or not.

 

Being a farang seems to imply to Thais that some sort of showing of face is necessary toward the farang, at least until his or her ?position? in the society and/or social situation can be established. Even then most polite Thais will show respect, at least in public. I said, ?polite Thais?. Not all Thais are polite, and some Thais either weren?t taught to be polite (which I find hard to believe, as most Thai parents I?ve met seem to try hard to instill politeness in their children.) or have chosen not to be polite, even with their parents best efforts to teach them. I rarely meet impolite Thais outside of the farang sex tourist enclaves. As a farang in Surin only the teens on occasion (very rarely), and some seemingly low class men or drunk persons (still, very rarely), have ever treated me disrespectfully and made me ?supposedly? lose face. But then, how can I lose face if someone says something thinking I don?t understand the language enough to understand? He loses face in my book, as he hasn?t the guts to say something to someone?s (mine) face that they understand as being insulting or disrespectful. It?s ball-less on their part, and no way a lose of face for the one not understanding the language. In those instances where something like this happened my family and/or friends with me will jump all over the person doing so, causing them to be the one who loses face due to their lack of respect. Humans are weird creatures sometimes, no doubt about it. It?s strange the way some try to increase their ?status/face? by trying to put others down in one manner or another. I hate this stuff, and face is a pain in the ass as far as I am concerned. In Thailand though this shit is taken seriously by a lot of the people. I was told years ago to never look an elder Thai man in the eyes and hold his gaze, as this was a direct insult in years gone by, a sort of call, or challenge, to fight. More so in the villages in the outback I believe that this may have been, rather than in the more modern cities. I?ve never seen this to be true, and never had a problem with it. Just something my packrat brain picked up years ago along the way, and held onto. Thai men do seem to be conscious of these things though. There?s a definite pecking order in most gatherings I?ve noticed. Thankfully most Thais understand farang haven?t a clue as to what they are going on about in this respect and are given a lot of slack as being just that, ?farang?.

 

I?ve seen farangs get away with some very rude, by Thai standards anyway, behavior while in Bangkok and Pattaya pay for play areas. Luckily for them. The times I have seen farangs getting themselves in trouble due to their big mouths and decidedly rude behavior it wasn?t a pleasant situation, and turned very dangerous very quickly. Thais do not mind ganging up on a guy, or kicking him when he is down. There is no such thing as a ?fair? fight in these altercations. There ain?t no Marques of Queensbury rules being brought into play here. Once it starts it seems nearly every Thai guy, and even maybe a few Thai women too, in the immediate area with a chip on their shoulder over perceived slights from the past by some asshole (in their minds anyways) farang will take the opportunity to get in a few punches and kicks. Not a pleasant way to spend an evening, and usually it ends with the farang needing some medical attention, or worse. Drunk and stupid is usually the phrase that applies here, and when I?ve seen these things happen it usually was because the farang was being a real dickhead. I suppose he?d have another version of the story, in his favor to be sure. (I once saw a white guy running down the middle of Beach Road in Pattaya, against the considerable traffic yet, dangerous enough in it?s own right, being chased by a youngish Thai man wielding a sharp machete expertly over his head and screaming like a demon possessed. I?ve always wondered what happened to him, and what caused the Thai guy to get so riled as to want to chop the speedy dude into pieces.) But, I have seen some real jerks do some really rude, crude, and obnoxious things, deserving of a ?lesson in manners? (beating) in almost any culture. I tend to think the Thais usually (for those about to argue with me for saying this, read the damned text, I said ?usually?.) have some justification and have been provoked a lot of these times, (not all, I know) and the farang, although maybe not needing to be fucking hospitalized for it, does have to bear the brunt of his own stupid and obnoxious behavior. Problem is it?s like a tea kettle finally boiling over. A slew of guys get away with being jerks, than one poor slob strikes a sour note with a Thai and all hell breaks loose, usually in total disproportion to his offense. Hell, I?ve had times when I wanted to kick the shit out of fellow farangs when out at night having a few brews in the bars, due to their obnoxious behavior. (Actually did happen once in Marine Disco in Pattaya a few years back, but that?s another story.) And lest you think me some ?Thais are always right and can do no wrong? idiot let me just say that there have been a few times when I really would have loved to slap the piss out of an ignorant and obnoxious Thai or two in my times in the country, If I wouldn?t have had to fight every Thai mother?s son and daughter in the friggin? soi I may have been tempted to do so too.

 

All of you readers will probably have had a time or two where you?ve said to yourself upon meeting a person for the first time ?I don?t like this person?. You don?t know why really. It?s just a feeling that overcomes you. I admit to having had these feelings on occasion myself during my lifetime. It?s weird. You don?t know this person from Adam. He/she have done nothing to warrant this feeling from you. It?s just something strange and primal. Like Spiderman?s ?spider sense? or something warning you that here stands an enemy, an asshole, a competitor, or something. I?ve gotten enough years behind me now to take this feeling with a grain of salt, because actually, a couple of times I?ve had this emotion come over me the person has turned out to become a good friend of mine. I have no idea where this comes from. Hopefully someone reading this who has an education in psychology can explain this stuff. It?s real, but it is a hit or miss sense to be sure. Maybe it worked more precisely in our more primitive past. Sometimes it is a warranted feeling, but then sometimes it is so off as to be deemed insane. Where it comes from I have no idea, but my hackles will rise, and my senses will sharpen. I sense danger for some reason, and an instant dislike for the person floods my heart. Now-a-days I listen to this with the knowledge of fifty years past experience, and take a wait and see attitude, being as friendly as I can to the person. Waiting to see if the ?spidey? sense has any merit or not.

 

Why do I bring this up? Well, when I first met the Thai man neighbor I nicknamed ?Chairman Mao? this is the feeling that overcame me and flooded my being. Like the robot from the old late sixties/early seventies ?Lost in Space? TV program my brain screamed, ?WARNING! WARNING, WILL ROBINSON!? I took an instant dislike to him, just on his looks alone, for no damned good reason that I could see. But, that old feeling was there, and not to be totally ignored. I stored it away for future reference and waied him when he was introduced to me, with a smile on my face.

 

(to be continued)

 

Cent

(The Central Scrutinizer)

 

 

[Guest]

 

IT'S about time :: Thanks! Seriously good perception of it all there Sensai Cent.

 

Now get to work on 9A .......... please, Hope your trip back was properly boring.

[Central Scrutinizer]

LHL,

 

Thanks. Just my impressions is all. Filtered through my wonky brain. Very busy lately, as I am getting ready to return to the LOS on Saturday morning. (You thought I'd already gone over?)Where are you now? Will do part 9a while on the plane most likely. Got a new laptop I am breaking in. :-) Plannin g on writing daily over there. (This'll be like a holiday really. No working this time over on the house and shop and such shit!)

 

Happy to see you like the series on Buddy and the Gang. I'll be drinking with them by Tuesday night most likely. :-) There's a couple/few more I'd like to describe before I'm done with it, and a few points/observations to make.

 

Later,

 

Cent