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3 days in Pattaya-what could happen?


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Here's a fresh trip report from my recent 3 day jaunt down to Pattaya. All my other trip reports will be months old.

Day 1 (afternoon)-Soi Yodsak, doing it backwards

After arriving in town with 2 pals F and H, we headed to Soi Yodsak for a nice traditional massage. After the massage, I was ready for something a bit less "traditional". The boys headed back to the hotel to rest up for the evening and left me alone on Soi Yodsak. As the King Kong Bar was right next to the massage place, I grabbed a cutie standing outside and went in for a drink. She promptly lit up a cigarette and I remarked that I don't like girls who smoke, but like girls who "smoke". She put out the cigarette and whispered in my ear that she loved to "smoke" and I took her upstairs without even asking her name. Well, she did love to smoke and I limped down the stairs about 45 minutes later. I asked her if she wanted a drink and then I asked her name and played the usual 20 questions. Then, we spent the next hour making out (she brushed her teeth) and fondling on the couch. I paid my bill (800B total-Soi Yodsak is a great place for cheap, afternon or evening fun) and headed back to the hotel. So I started the day a bit backwards!

Day 1-Evening-Not worth it!

I ended up having a fantastic fuck last night, but it sure wasn't worth all the bullshit I had to put up with. The night started with H, F and I heading over to Super Girl to look for H's gal after the usual great dinner at Vientiene followed by ice cream at Royal Garden (are we predictable, or what?). I told H on the way to Super Girl that I had plan A,B,C,D,E,F and G for tonight and if none of those worked out, I'd head to Tony's solo as plan H. Plan A was in attendance at Super Girl, but she was in street clothes waiting for her date to show up and said she'll call me tomorrow (I am not holding my breath as she regularly commands much more than the 1000B she is going to get from me). H's gal was not yet in attendance, so I went outside and made a call to plan B. Miss Hardbody wanted to see me, so I left the boys and headed over to her bar. She wasn't wearing any makeup and didn't have the usual "whore" outfit on. She complained that she wasn't sexy tonight, but I actually preferred the look and was quite happy with her not looking like the typical Pattaya working gal. She seemed happy to see me and I bought drinks for her and her friend as well as a Heineken for myself (this is the bar I got kicked out of for drinking Coke!). The friend was quote disappointed that the F didn't show up to see her. Miss Hardbody (she certainly lives up to this name, the tits are so firm that guys accuse them of being silicone and you can bounce quarters off that ass!) was busy beating all comers on the pool table. She is quite good and the board was full of guys waiting to play. I chatted with her in between shots and let her know that I was not real happy with the way she had been acting towards me the last couple of times I have seen her and that things needed to be different tonight. Well, they weren't and I should have sensed that early on. After over an hour of her beating at least 10 challenegers at pool, I told her that I wanted to go now. She said she'd go as soon as she lost a game. I told her that I was going now and she could come if she wanted. She pouted and said "OK, I not go". I binned the check and when I got the change they had taken out money for her barfine. An older gal, who acts like her big sister, tells me that everything will be fine and quickly talks to Miss Hardbody and all is well (seemingly) and we head out to meet up with the boys. They are still in Super Girl awaiting H's gal (it's been 2 hours now). Another friend is there with his wife and the boys adopted a young German newbie. H left his phone number in case his gal showed up (she never did, and he was quite bummed as his sole reason for going to Pattaya was to see her) and we headed out. Miss Hardbody says she wants to go bowling and I tell her we will go to a couple of bars with the boys first (pout). We walk down Soi 8 past all the beer bars and the boys find nothing to their liking, so we go to G-Strings go go. All the boys notice a hottie with a nice butt on stage and I tell German Boy to buy her a drink. He's not really sure how everything works and he tries to grab her off the stage. I tell him to have a seat and she'll come and see him when she's done dancing. My gal bums a cigarette from German Boy and goes outside to smoke it. She knows I don't like her smoking, but I think she also goes outside to pout. I explain the pricing structure to German Boy and he says that he will pay her 500B. I tell him that there is no way she'll go with you for 500B and he needs to hit the beer bars if that's his target price. The Hottie finishes dancing and comes over to sit with him. In about a minute, she leaves in a huff and we wonder what was said. He says that he wouldn't buy her a drink because she put her top back on and wouldn't let him play with her tits. I explain that this isn't a diddling bar (our term for a bar where you can fondle the girls), but he doesn't seem to grasp the concept. I tell F to take him to Soi Yodsak and he should find that more to his liking. I left the boys and take Miss Hardody bowling. After 2 games of bowling, I was getting a blister, so I wanted to quit. No, she wants to play one more, and I relent (so much for "up to you"). After bowling, we head to Walking Street to play pool. Along the way, she keeps commenting everytime we pass a clothing stall that this blouse or that blouse is pretty (hint, hint-how subtle!). We play pool at the 19th Hole in the comfortable A/C and I tell her to eat because I don't want her eating at 3 am when we're heading to the hotel as has happened the past 2 times. We play pool for 2 hours and I feel a bit stupid for this part of the story. In the past, I have played her maybe 50 games of pool and probably won about 5, but I have been playing in Bangkok and getting better, so I was looking forward to beating her at least some of the time. She hits the ball real hard and makes a lot of slop shots, which I guess count in Pattaya rules. Also the 2 shots after a scratch I think is a stupid rule. Well, in 12 games I manage to win 4, but start getting quite pissed as she makes all these slop shots and then as she sees that I am much better, she starts snookering (dirty pool) me and taking advantage of the 2 shots after I inevitably scratch. The final straw comes when a ball that was not even touched somehow falls in the side pocket (her rock hard ass must have bumped the table!) after she missed badly on a corner shot and she counts it. I know I shouldn't be taking this so seriously, but I guess I am just too competitive. I tell her that her rules are "bullshit" and we are going to play by "real" rules and to knock off the dirty pool snooker crap. She pouts some more and her first shot in the next game is slop and she continues (I give up as this is the last game anyway as our 2 hours are up). It's now 3 am and I want to head to the hotel, but she wants to stay and play Nintendo games. I put my foot down and we head for the hotel. She stops to admire the "whore" blouses and asks me to buy her one. I see the sign saying 99B and say OK and then she picks one that costs 300B (oh, well). One the way to the hotel, she keeps joking (maybe she wasn't joking?) that she's going back to her room now and then says that she can't "boom-sing" (her term for screwing) first saying that she has a dick now and then saying that she has her period. We finally get to the hotel and it's more bullshit in the room. She wants to watch TV. She shows me photos from her holiday with her "fiance", a real dorky looking young American. He's coming back in 4 months to marry her (of course, if her lips are moving, she's lying so I don't put much credence in that story). I finally get her in the shower and then we have our usual fantastic "boom-sing". Now, she announces that she wants to go to her room as she needs to clean it (I doubt this girl has ever cleaned a room in her life). I tell her if she wants to go, that's fine but don't expect to see me again and explain in detail that I am tired of all the games and bullshit. She then changes her tune and decides to stay, but sits on the end of the bed reading a comic book! After being a little patient, I tell her to come to bed or get dressed and leave. She says that I "yak-yak" too much and starts getting dressed. I say that I wouldn't "yak-yak" if she would stop all the bullshit. I told her that I would not be seing her her again and good luck with her "marraige" (god help the moron if he really marries her!). I was going to give her 500B, but only have 200B or 1000B notes (no way in hell she's getting a 1000). I give her 200B telling her that along with the 300B blouse that makes 500B and that's fine for a ST. She says that she didn't want the blouse (of course she ended up taking it anyway) and demanded 500B. I gave her back the 200B and told her that was all she was getting. She refused it and I figured it would be best to go downstairs and get change rather than having her really pissed at me (not that she wasn't already). Took her downstairs, got change and basically threw a 500B note in her lap and went back upstairs without saying a word to her. So, it was a great fuck, but I finally realized that it's not worth putting up with all the crap (something F has been telling me for a long time). There are plenty of other girls that I have fun with and subsribe to the "up to you" philosophy and I intend to hook up with one tonight to renew my faith in the paradise that is Pattaya!

Day 2-afternoon-Failure at a traditional massage

After being left alone in Pattaya by H and F, who headed back to BKK (oh no, what will I do), I decided to go for a Traditional massage. We have found a great place on Soi Yodsak that has very experienced (read blush.gif" border="0ld) Wat Pho style massage ladies and the price is right at 200B for 2 hours, but I was too lazy to go that far and wandered over to Silom Sauna instead. My regular gal grabbed me and gave me shit about never getting a promised oil massage from her. Now, this gal is not ugly, but older and a bit on the heavy side. If she approached me in a go-go bar I would run far, far away as fast as my legs would take me. But, I have gotten to know her over several months and have developed a playful and friendly relationship with her. So, I succumbed and agreed to the oil massage, but told her that I was not looking for “release” and only some soft “play” and a nice oil rubdown. I was planning on visiting Sabai Dee and seeing if Miss Soapy was in and didn’t want to “waste” a shot. The massage started out innocent enough, but when it was time to turn over, she started paying a little attention to Mr. Happy. I kept telling her bow-bow and directing her hands away from too much direct contact as I really didn’t want a hand job. I popped off the bra and played with her ample bosoms (OK, she’s fat!) and she began kissing me. Soon, I had a nipple in my mouth and my hand slid inside her shorts and she was soaking wet. She took her top off completely and started rubbing her tits all over my oily body and this felt amazing, even better than a soapy massage. I still was content to just “play” and had no intention of going any further, but she had other ideas. I was still massaging her clit and fingers were exploring various orifices when she decided to remove her shorts and panties. Before I could say no (OK, I couldn’t have said no if my life depended on it!), She was riding me and our oily bodies were writhing in ecstasy (sorry, does that sound too much like a Penthouse Forum letter?). After I finished, I somehow had the “power” to keep going for quite a while afterwards. We finally collapsed in a sweaty, oily mess and she didn’t want to move for at least 10 minutes. I finally stumbled out and took a much needed shower (it’s a bitch getting all that oil off). Paid the Papasan 500B for the 2 hour oil massage and tipped the gal 500B that was well earned. I imagine this girl is not quite as high mileage as most of my gals and seemed to enjoy the act much, much more. Of course, maybe it was all an act, but it was a most enjoyable “massage” nonetheless.

Day 2-Evening-A drunken night of Debauchery

After my afternoon massage fun, I waited for the rain to let up and then headed for Walking Street. Ate at P72 and had decent, cheap Thai food with a great view of the comings and goings on Walking Street. Arrived at Super Girl just after 8 and my regular wasn't in attendance (didn't expect her to be), but H's gal was there and she was quite bummed that he went back to BKK. I gave her the message to expect him on the 30th, so he'll be a happy camper on the next trip. Super Girl had loads of dancing hotties, but they paid no attention to me or the 5 or so other lone Farang customers in the place. I actually did get a few smiles, but didn't initaiate anything as the attitudes of these girls is a big turn-off (H's gal is the exception, of course he is jai dee mak mak!). On the way out, a HUGE Taiwanese tour group was waiting to enter and being briefed by their tour guide. It would have been interesting to watch the girls swarm when they entered! Stopped in Super Baby and my regular there was also not to be found and once again I got some smiles (including a big one from B's stunner) , but I still want to try and see my gal there at some point, so I finished my drink and left. Stopped quickly at Pretty Girl, but didn't see the girl I was looking for, so didn't stay for a drink. Went to Soi 9 to look up a Chiang Mai gal that I had taken from Tony's once, but she wasn't there either. Decided to go by Hot N Cold 2 to see if Miss Showgirl was still pissed at me. Last trip, I took Miss Yodsak into her bar and she was extremely pissed and flipped me off several times. Now, this is one of the stupidist girls in Thailand, (maybe she's not so stupid, she made 1000B tonight) so she must have forgot that she was mad at me as she instantly jumped in my lap and was quite affectionate. I bought her a drink and she asked me to buy her best friend, Lek, a drink also. I have always liked Lek (she is a total cutie and except for some weird scars or birthmarks all over her right side, has a nice sexy body) , so I had no problem with that. Miss Showgirl asks me if I am taking her tonight and says she wants to go to Xzyte disco because she has never been. I ask Lek if she has been before and she has and gives it a thumbs up. Lek goes off to do the candle wax show and I ask Miss Showgirl if she wants Lek to come along with us (I haven't taken 2 girls in Thaliand in over 6 months). She is enthusiastic about this idea and I make sure she understands that I mean they will both come to the hotel afterwards. I also tell her that I want long time as she has made up excuses to leave the last couple of times (didn't bother me too much as I was always ready to sleep anyway, but this girl has some of the best natural tits in Thailand and I thought a little snuggling might be in order tonight). Lek finishes the show and Miss Showgirl asks her if she wants to come along and I also make sure she understands what is expected and also ask both girls if they will be "shy" tonight. They assure me that shyness will not be an issue as they are good friends (they also stick beer bottles in each others pussies on stage, so you wouldn't think that they would be shy!). I pay bar for both of them and arrange to come back at 1:30 to get them after the last show is finished. It's only 10:30 now, so I wander down Soi 7 and spot a beer bar with an empty pool table and nary a customer. There were actually quite a few beer bars with zero customers (how do these places survive the off season and how can the girls make any money?). I ask the most attractive (a relative term as none of these girls was remotely attractive) of the 6 girls at the bar to play pool with me. I notice that the pool table looks like a leftover from the Vietnam War and the balls are so faded it's hard to tell what color they are. Also, between the 5'9" sheet metal ceiling (I am 6'1", so I hit my head at least a dozen times), and the tables that were too close to the pool table and the condition of the table itself, made making shots extra difficult. The cues were in horrible shape also. But, the games were free and my Coke was 30B, and I had 3 hours to kill, so what the hell. After quite a few games, I got more and more annoyed at the stupid Pattaya pool rules and told the girl that we would play by "real" rules and explained them to her. She wasn't nearly as good as Miss Hardbody, so I beat her most of the time. She never asked (which I like), but I bought her 2 drinks over the course of the 3 hours while I nursed my one Coke. The other girls at the bar were bored silly and they opened a bottle and started pouring shots of what they called "whiskey from Finland". It said vodka and had a Russian sounding name, but was brown and tasted like Jaggermeister. I inquired as to who bought the bottle as I didn't want to find a bill for 1000B in my bin as was told the bar bought it. I must have had 6 or 7 shots of the foul tasting crap, but it actually put me in a pretty good mood (you guys know that I rarely drink). It didn't help my pool any though, as unlike B I apparently don't play better drunk off my ass! When 1 am rolled around, I said that I had to go and paid my bill (a whopping 200B!). The girl I played with I guess was expecting me to take her, and was quite dismayed when I told her that I couldn't. I told her I could pay her barfine and she could go home and sleep if she wanted (What the hell, it's only 200B). This made her very happy as she said that tomorrow she was going home to Korat. She said that she wanted to see me tomorrow and would go home to Korat later. I gently explained that I couldn't be her boyfriend, but would be happy to be her friend. She started crying (don't think she was acting) and said that she loved me (oh, crap). I told her that she didn't want me for a boyfriend anyway, because I was a big butterfly and she finally calmed down and stopped crying. I gave her the money to pay her barfine and all the girls in the bar hugged and kissed me goodbye. I was now quite drunk and honestly don't think I could even find that bar again if I tried. I stumbled down the street and went back to Hot N Cold. There were only a couple of customers in the place and the girls were both ready to go as they cancelled the 1:30 lesbo beer bottle show because of lack of interest. Lek looked especially good and it's the first time I ever saw her when she wasn't naked. We hopped a Songtaew to Xzyte and I was quite impressed with the place and will return. Similar to Hollywood, but with a much bigger stage and more perfomers, it was highly entertaining. The girls of course, loved it and being drunk, I even danced with them. At the table next to us, was a flaming homo with his Thai boy toy. They were making out and dirty dancing, but maybe beacuse I was so drunk, it didn't bother me too much and they both gave me the thumbs up and even toasted us with their drinks when they saw that I was with 2 girls. When the show ended around 2:30, I was perfectly happy to stay and dance to the techno crap music, but the girls were ready to go to the hotel and I wasn't about to argue. Well, they lived up to their promise of not being shy (even played with each other a little) and it was a wild experience. Also, because of my inebriated condition, I had great stamina and we didn't finish up until after 4 am. I was now totally exhausted and when they announce that they want to go out and get some food, I tell them that they can go and I'll sleep even though we had agreed on LT. Gave them each 1000B and quickly fell asleep. Just another night in Pattaya.

Day 3-Afternoon-A soapy afternoon

I have been in Pattaya 3 days now and my Sabai Dee soapy gal has been calling every day, so I finally told her that I would come and see her. I actually stopped in my first day and she was taking the day off, but the place was loaded with great talent. I showed up at 3 pm and she quickly joined me at the table. She hadn't changed into the "fuck me" dress yet and put on the whore make-up, but looked great in light make-up and t-shirt and jeans. Now, this is the girl that I have kicked out of my hotel room at least 3 times, but she keeps calling me and every time I see her in the confines of Sabai Dee, it's great. Now, I know at least one of you has never tried a soapy and a few of you are not big fans, but I think just the bath and the slip n slide are worth the price of admission, even if the action afterwards is less than stellar. Having a naked girl wash every inch of your body in a giant bathtub followed by her rubbing you in various ways with various body parts while both of you are covered in slippery soap suds in an incredible erotic experience. Now, if you find a girl that follows that up with a fabulous performance between the sheets, then it is a highly rewarding 2 hours. I have the usual "fabulous" time with her and afterwards she says she wants to go with me and I don't even have to pay the barfine as she'll just say she's sick and meet me at the hotel. I remind her of the last few times at the hotel when I have ended up kicking her out and tell her I don't think it's a good idea. I promise to see her when I come back to Pattaya and she starts crying (damn, twice in 2 days I made a girl cry). She says she loves me too much and I remind her that I have a girlfriend in Bangkok and am a big butterfly, so I wouldn't make a very good boyfriend for her. I head back to the hotel and call Miss Yodsak's sister and find out that she went LT with a Farang (guess she won't be breaking the 175 ST's record this month). I am now a bit sore, so maybe I'll take tonight off. Right, and maybe pigs will fly out of my ass! Just now, Miss Super Girl calls and wants to see me and we make a date for 8 pm. I doubt anything extra ordinary will happen tonight and tomorrow I head back to my "normal" life in BKK.

Day 3-Evening-Why I will always leave the light on!

I thought me night will Miss Super Girl would be largely uneventful, but once again, I was WRONG. I showed up at Super Girl right at 8 pm and she was waiting for me. Talked to H's girl briefly and and talked with the papasan and verified that the waitress girls here and at Super Baby can't be barfined as there was discussion on the Nanaplaza board about that. Had a quick drink and took her to eat at P72 on Walking Street. I think that's my new facorite place to eat as the food's decent and cheap and you can people watch at the same time. I was enjoying walking around town with a "head-turner" and if she'd lose the 5 kilos she's gained since starting at the bar, she'd be a total stunner. Went to Tony's at 10:30, just when the band started and the place was totally empty. When we left around midnight, it had filled up a bit, but nothing like high season. Tony took the night off and the music wasn't the same without a keyboardist. Walking through Arab town on the way to second road, she said "Arab man pay big money, 3000-4000B for ST, but smell too bad!" while she held her nose in disgust. I always thought Arab's were considered notoriusly cheap by the girls, but maybe the ones that venture into Super Girl are more well-heeled. Hit the hotel and after the shower, she wanted all the lights off. Well, she wasn't ever shy in the past, and I don't like the lights off anyway when I have a beauty queen in my bed, so I turned them back on. After some kissing and fondling, I started to venture south of the border and noticed some "Don-Kingage" going on down there. Now, she had always been neatly trimmed, so I wondered aloud why the change. She didn't really answer, but upon closer inspection, I found out why-GENITAL WARTS! Lots of them! She said she had been to the doctor today and the medicine hurt, but she would soon be OK and that the doctor said that it was "no problem for man". I doubt the doctor really told her that, but I explained that it was a big problem for man and that it could take many trips to the doctor and a long time before she would be OK. So, I skipped the "main course" tonight and instead filled up on "appetizers" but didn't go anywhere near that snatch. I will always insist on the lights being on from now on!

Just another "boring" 3 days in Pattaya

Life is good!


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