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bkk chronicles 03/04


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butterflies: the bane of BG's

It's now my 4th day in the kingdom, I've only had 3 girls so far. I've heard of some insane souls who'd have 3 girls in one day(nudge nudge G tongue.gif" border="0 )! G and I decide to make a nana round this nite. G found him self a "keeper" from angelwitch so we decide to hit angelwitch first. He barfined his girl and we hung out at the go-go for a bit. There were mostly 6 and 7's in this club. No real stunners but I noticed this one small petite thing. She was very cute and was very light complected. Heck I might've even seen some freckles. We stay at AW about an hour and decide to do some "window shopping". First we check out G-spot( this becomes my home base later ). I saw dancers everywhere, ranges from 6's to 9's, naw maybe 8.5, I'm way too fuggin picky. There was only one 10 I saw and she was in pattaya, more on her later. I received a lot of smiles. They probably believed I was japanese(dammit!). Well the dancer's seem to cater to japanese. I saw a lot of bleach blonde dancers, whom japanese tend to favor. Almost immediately after G and I sat down, a blonde tattooed dancer sprawled on my lap. She was definitely a forward girl. She was a tad flabby in some places and not enough in others, but generally she seemed fun. Thing that sucks ass about G-spot, the drink prices. 110baht! WTF! Hmmn, this place didn't really seem to suit G that well so we decide to check Hollywood. We pay our check and head out. G had seen a girl in hollywood before. Actually, I think G was trying to avoid a psycho girl at hollywood. Anyhoo, this place was rather packed. We got seated at the stage. Personally, I hate sitting at the stage. It's really hard to see the whole view and you're kinda forced to focus on the dancers directly in front of you. I'm thinking this is not my cup of tea so I tell G I'm gonna head back to G-spot since I had a "feeling" about that place.

I head back to G-spot and the girl who sat on my lap was nowhere in sight. Good, I kinda wanted to check the other dancers here.

A side note: I'm generally what you call a "shy guy" in a bar. I'm not really used to this type of atmosphere, nor do I frequent strip clubs back home. Therefore, I'm generally tame in the club. I don't claw at the girls(which some girls seem to like. they think I'm a "nice guy." oh how wrong they are tongue.gif" border="0 ). I tend to smile a lot also, since I'm a pretty easy going guy. No, I'm not talking about that creepy smirk that I've seen some farang guys have in a bar, ewww.

Anyhoo, here I am sitting close to the main stage smiling like a giddy school boy. I take in the view, it's overwhelming to say the least. The problem that came to me was that there were so many good selections, it was hard to choose. It also sucks that the girls didn't wear numbers therefore it's difficult to call the girl over for a drink unless you grow some balls and walk near the stage and let them know. I have squirrel nuts! tongue.gif" border="0 Once the song ended, the dancers all changed and one cuty with short blonde hair sat next to me. She distanced herself a bit so I wouldn't be bothered. After about a minute, I ask if she wanted a drink. She smiles and wais me. Lek02(so sorry guys! i'm tupid!) comes back with a drink and snuggles a bit next to me. The obvious chit chat occurs; what's your name where you from. America?!! You no nippon? No, I was born in america. @#$%@#$% this is gonna repeat till the end of my trip! I was gonna get a tattoo on my forehead reading in thai, NO I'M AMERICAN DAMMIT! THE WHITE MAN IS A MINORITY IN CALIFORNIA!(just a joke fellas tongue.gif" border="0 ) Heck, if you've been to san francisco, they could call this city New Shanghai, hehe. Anyways, once that was over with we have some more inconsequential fluff talk. This girl seemed generally nice and was kinda cute to boot. It'd also be a pain in the ass to shoo her away and make her lose face by chasing another girl. This girl also seemed a bit shy and told me that she didn't like dancing because she didn't have big milk. I said that I didn't like my milk too big anyways. She pointed at one of the girls on stage and said, big milk. I said, real milk? She said silicone. I barfine her.

She became kinda ecstatic that I barfined her. She really didn't think I was gonna take her out. She goes off to change. I lit a cigg and suddenly the girl who jumped on my lap before was right in front of me. She was wearing street clothes, obviously been barfined by someone. I tell her I met a nice girl. She smiles and tells me to remember her next time. I nod and she goes off. All this time I was eyeing this statuesque figure on the stage. She dance in such a manner where her breasts were heaving a bit and her ass moved side to side. She was really proportionally exquisite. She was near me so I decide to lean over and say hello. I tell her I thought she danced real nice and that she was pretty. I also tell her I hope I could see her next time(BIG FUCKING MISTAKE!!!!! you'll see later)

noob hint*: don't promise or insinuate any form of promise unless you are willing to follow through. These girls have extraordinary memory and will make you keep your word.

Lek02 comes back and off we go to the hotel. She was smiling all the way back, which I thought was very endearing. Once in the room we snuggle for a bit. I ask if she wants to stay LT. She says she can't she has school. Dammit! mental note: if not asking for price, at least ask whether LT is on the table. I tend to hate haggling over price, it kills the mood/setting for me. Oh well, let's make the best of it. I smile and say it's fine. She tells me that she is really glad and perpetually flatters me by saying, "I like you so much" then giggling. Hmmn. Whatever the case, this girl isn't the one so I don't return the compliment. I just hug her back. Once showered, we start the festivities. Ok, this whole time this girl has been shy, coy, and a bit reserved. All of a sudden she's lapping my face like a fuggin St. Bernard. Woohoo! I get into it and there begins a very energetic session. At times, I truly felt that this girl was infatuated with me. She was a dynamo. PLUS... she began smoking me sans condom! The way to my heart is through a girl's mouth... lips... tongue...throat... NO TEETH THO! tongue.gif" border="0

note: the following will be a NEW level of honesty on this board perhaps. I'm letting it all out! Lek02 and I fevereshly screw for almost two hours! I shit you not! I'm literally dying by now. I'm out of breath and my boy is sore as hell. I figure it's due to all the screwing I've done in the past 3 days, consecutively! I didn't train for this type of excercise ya know. I didn't want to let lek02 lose face by not being able to finish me since she seemed a bit worried and asked if I was ok and if I finished yet. Somehow, I'm still hard throughout these two hours and I decide to engage stealth plan beta! The rare fake male orgasm!! Don't laugh too hard guys. I decide to initiate this while doing her doggy so she doesn't see too well. Hmmn, I should recieve an oscar for my performance. I grunted and whimpered and slowly pulled out then quickly ran to the bathroom to remove the condom. I came back and kissed her forehead and said, you were wonderful. She smiled and hugged me.

I probably could've finished but I really didn't want to make lek02 give me head for hours on end. The poor girl took my boom boom for 2 hours already. We shower and snuggle for a bit while watching tv. After half an hour I said it's getting late and she should get home to get some rest for school. She gets dressed and I slip 1300 baht in her pocket. I promise to pay her 200 baht more since I was short on cash.

noob hint*: once again, these girls have impeccable memory and WILL expect whatever obligations you have to them.

She does remember the 200baht the next time I see lek02. It was like a week after also!

Also, I have this line I give to the girls in G-spot starting with lek02. I tell them that I'm visiting Thailand for vacation and only for a short amount of time. And also that I might not be back for a long long time.( geez, I honestly believed this bullshit too at that point of time. now I'm a blubbering idiot thinking of any means to get back ) I tell the girls that I'm a butterfly and I hope they understand. I think they understand what I'm saying. They smile and say ok, but probably inside they resent that. Whatever the case, this speech may or may not have made things worse for me in G-spot. The G-spot girls quickly realized I was a butterfly until the end, where I met the one. Whom I spent 4 days with. This pissed off the previous g-spot girls I seen before I believe.

[ October 23, 2001: Message edited by: tyler_durden ]

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bkk chronicles 04


Don't let the size of the BG's fool ya! They can whoop your ass no problem frown.gif" border="0

I didn't do anything productive today. I'm feeling a tad under the weather, a bit of the sniffles. I tell G I'm gonna rest today and he goes off to do some shopping. Later that nite I head to Landmark's Japanese resteraunt to get some Hot Udon noodles. Hmmn, there are some real cute Thai girls here. Some very light complected. No doubt to attract Japanese tourists.

I boldy head back to G-spot tonite. Geez I'm a creature of habit. I'm familiar with the place and weirdly somewhat feel at home with this go-go. I sit in the in the upper part facing the stage. Watch your heads tall guys, low ceiling! There's this long-blonde haired girl that keeps giggling everytime I look to my far left. She's really really cute so I motion her to come over. She jets right over! She quickly grabs my arm and tells me how she saw me the other nite and how she was grabbing at me. Hmmn, I don't recall seeing her grabbing me but I do remember a bunch of girls grabbing at me, as if I'm a japanese tourist with a FAT WALLET! This girl is very very cute. She(Noi03) had all the right curves and smiled alot. She actually looked like a japanese girl! She does tell me that she sees a LOT of japanese. No shit... I then let her know emphatically that I am american, she nods and smiles at me. I buy noi03 a drink and see lek02 off yonder. I smile at her and she understands. She smiles back. Good, hopefully the territorial factor won't be an issue tonite.(WRONG! GOD I'M SO FUCKING WRONG). Remember the statuesque girl I wrote about in my previous report? Let's call her mecha-bitch01! She spots me and realizes I've already got a new girl next to me. She make a bee-line towards me and noi03. Once she's right in front of me. She glares at me for about 30 seconds then lets loose this cacophony.

note: Ok, this is NOT meant to be any slur or anything spiteful, just some honest perceptions on my part. The thai language is tonal correct? Well, for the majority of my life, I've heard english, korean, japanese, and some chinese. I am used to these languages and the way they sound. Now for some reason, a thai girl can make sounds that make me cringe as if nails running down a chalkboard. Using the harsher parts of a tonal language, mecha-bitch01 makes this WAAAAAAAAAAA noise. It sounded like the way Lucy from "I Love Lucy", used to whine or cry, amplified! It was annoying as hell. It made my eye tick.

Anyhoo, mecha-bitch01 starts "going off" on me and noi03 in thai. In between she says in english, "You say you go with me!" Ummm K, nice sales pitch you got there MB01. Nice way of attracting customers by berating the FUCK outta them. Noi03 retaliates with fervor, but was softer in tone. With disgust, MB01 walks away not too far and gives me the evil eye here and there. Noi03 is fabulous. She tells me, "Don't worry, no problem. Up to you." LOL, the only time when I felt at ease by the words "up to you". My mind was made up. I grab 1000baht and tell her check bin and pay bar. She gives me a big warm smile and heads off to change and pay the bills. Ok, for the next 10 minutes I feel naked. MB01 frequently giving me the evil eye and muttering expletives while I try to avoid her glances.

Noi03 comes back dressed almost to a T like a japanese teenager. I smile and we head out. THANK GOD! We made record time to my room. Once inside, I finally felt a bit relaxed. We start petting very heavily. This girl was a sloppy kisser. I'm not too keen on this but it was fine. She was pretty into it and that suited me fine. We then shower and go back to petting. She quickly moves her way down and gives me the sloppiest and surprisingly quiet enjoyable "smokefest" of this trip. I decide to return the favor and recipricate. It got very steamy. This nite, I finished relativley quickly, 30 minutes. This girl was a for sure repeat I tell myself. She tells me that she has class tomorrow and she could only do ST. DAMMIT! Fooked again! I say ok and hand her 1500 baht and she gets dressed. She leaves me with a very sloppy kiss. Grrrr... Noi03 got me all hot and I still had some energy. I decide to go back out on the prowl.

Since I was chickenshit to face MB01 I decide to head to Angelwitch in search of that cute chinese looking honey. I sit there and most of the cute girls have been barfined. I figure I'd sit awhile and if nothing caught my fancy, I'd go back to sleep. The mamasan remembers me from the other nite with G so she quickly comes over to talk to me. She's pretty jovial and asks me if she could get a drink. What the hell, might be good to be nice to the mamasan. She squeals with delight and quickly gets her drink. She comes back and we bullshit for a bit. She gets comfortable, too comfortable perhaps. She frequently takes a cigarette and lights one for her and me. Fuck I need to get another pack! frown.gif" border="0 I then realize there was some sort of party to my far right. They had a bottle of tequila and were all getting blitzed. There were some dancers, welcome girls, and the mamasan went there to get a shot for her and ME. Aww dammit. I didn't feel like getting drunk tonite. Actually, for the most part, I order cola's in the bars. I didn't come to thailand to drink. If I wanted to drink beer, I'd stay home in SF and drink Anchor Steam or Guiness. I hate Pilsners. Plus, drinking and sex are not a good mix, if ya know what I mean. Anyways, the mamasan comes back with two shot glasses and gives me one. I tell her no no, but she won't hear it. I take the shot. Damn wtf is this?! Some shitty ass Cuervo? Where's the Petron or Sauza dammit! It goes down like paint thinner. Then all of a sudden I spot her!!!!! The cuty I came looking for. I immediately grab her and ask if I could buy her a drink. She was in street clothes(obviously barfined before) so I ask if she's still "working". She nods. I'm happy as pie. I'm thinking, "damn, two hotties in one nite woohoo!" WTF?! The mamasan comes back with another shot. Geezus, I'm gonna get fucking drunk. That's not too good for my boy down there. blush.gif" border="0 Swallow. Cringe. Grimace. They laugh. I'm feeling a bit warm and fuzzy. My eyes are almost invisible and I probably have a retarded grin. The cuty is also drinking a tad as well. She then goes off for a bit. I'm thinking, all is good. DAMMIT! mamasan comes back with another shot. Oh hell. I try to pass it off. I tell her I need a bit of time. She goes bah and walks away. I quickly grab a dancer and tell her, drink. She smiles at me and shakes her head no. I give her my puppy look and say please, I mow already. She smiles again and she grabs the shot and downs it like a pro. Mamasan saw this and mockingly yells at the dancer. I say no no, my fault I mow. I ask her. Mamasan wasn't too keen on this so she goes back and gets ANOTHER FUGGIN SHOT! DAMMIT!!!!! She watches me down the fucker. I'm in hell. Cuty comes back with a bar-b-q chicken or pork or beef or whatever animal and hands me one. I think, good, mebbe the food will sober me up a bit. Well being a tad tipsy, I didn't realize when I was chomping on the hot pepper. WTF!!!!! I'M ON FIRE DAMMIT!!!!! I down my cola and tears stream down my face. Cuty laughs and runs to the bar. She comes back with a glass of water.(BIG FUCKING MISTAKE AS YOU WILL SEE LATER) I quench my suffering and we laugh together. I think, ok this girl is good to go. I pay her bar and we're off. I say goodbye to mamasan and company.

On the way back she stops by briefly at the clothing stand. Uh-oh. bad omen. Please god, not this one! We head to the hotel quickly after. I'm still buzzing. We get in the room and I lean to kiss her. She turns her head and I get cheek. Hmmn, mebbe she needs to be in the mood. We shower and she gets under the covers immediately. Now this girl has a tight little body. She is extremely cute, but she's doing this shy thing. I start kissing her. No real reaction. She lays there. Hmmn, ok I'll take some initiative to warm her up. I go down on her. No reaction. I was down there for 10 minutes hoping there'd be a reaction. Nope. WTF!!! I get back up and lay next to her. I'm not hard whatsoever. Besides being a bit tipsy, this girl wasn't exciting me and her hot body can only make up for that so much. I tell her to smoke me. NO. WTF! I ask again nicely smoke please. She goes down and grabs a condom. I say mai ow condom. She doesn't listen and attempts to fit a condom on my flacid member. She jerks me until I was somewhat erect and mounts me immediately. Up and down grinding mechanically. Ouch. My pelvis begins to get raw. I stop her and try from missionary. Problem. I'm limp. I'm drunk and I'm not excited. She mumbles something in thai. Hmmmn. I tell her I mow a little. Maybe if you smoke a little I get hard. AWW SHIT! The transformation begins. Cuty becomes Mecha-Bitch02! WTF WTF WTF!!!! It can't be! Two fucking mecha-bitches in one night?!!!! She also goes into the annoying tonal rant at me. She goes, "Smoke smoke smoke, You want smoke, You go to ladyboy!" WTF!!! I try to grab my wits and calm her down. Ok, it's my fault. How about if we go LT and we try again in the morning? (I don't know wtf I was thinking at that moment to bring the LT thing up. I thought maybe the prospects of more money would appease her. Naw, nope I was fucking drunk and stupid) She then says, "You want LT? 5000baht!" WTF?!!! 5000baht and you can't even suck my dick? Hell, I'd rather fuck a ladyboy than pay you 5000baht. I say, "we finish, you can go now." Without a word she heads to the bathroom and gets changed. I shake my head and hand her 1000baht. She looks at it and walks out. She takes one more glance back and I shake my head again. Instead of closing my door, she throws it wide open and quickly escapes into the elevator with an evil fucking smirk. Boom, gotya sucka. Tyler go down. I felt disgusted. Oh well. I tell myself, fuckit. I'll never see that bitch again nor would I ever head back into that go-go.

Learn from my fuck-ups my friends.

1. don't make promises you can't keep

2. don't get drunk if you wanna still fuck at nite.

3. I shoulda given mecha-bitch02 500baht!

4. Don't fret. Yeah there are some bitches out there, but there are hundreds more good ones.

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Hmmn, without giving away the movie, Tyler Durden is a character played by Brad Pitt in the movie "Fight Club". I to a degree, identify with the character. It's what made me goto the kingdom. Hehe, I know it sounds retarded, but I don't want to give away the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it.

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Seen the film, bought the film, got the bumper sticker and still find the film BRILLIANT after watching it all this time.

Good choice of name

First Rule: You do not talk about Fight Club.

Second Rule: You do not talk about Fight Club.

Third Rule: When someone says, "Stop," or goes limp, the fight is over.

Fourth Rule: Only two guys to a fight.

Fifth Rule: One fight at a time.

Sixth Rule: No Shirts, no shoes.

Seventh Rule: Fights go on as long as they have to.

Eighth Rule: If this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight.

mitch laugh.gif" border="0

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"3. I shoulda given mecha-bitch02 500baht!"

Sorry, Tyler, but that's a very advanced and dangerous move that most rookies couldn't pull off.

laugh.gif" border="0

Maybe you can try it on your next trip.

Keep these reports coming every day as I still have 6 more days in hell (Utah) and need something to entertain me!


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