Beginner's Luck

[zanemay]

Lately, after spending the better part of a year here, I find myself looking back nostaligically on my first days in Thailand. That was the time before I discovered Nanaplaza.com, when LOS meant only Land of Smiles, before it also came to mean Land of Sex. I came as a veteran wanderer on one more exploration. A few months before I had roamed about central Mexico seeking "reality" and avoiding tourist spots. My plans were the same for Thailand. I had only information taken from travel websites and my trusty Lonely Planet guide. I had no inkling that I would fall in love with this place.

Do you hold first impressions vividly? I remember my first days so well. I had a plan that seems a little odd now: I would fly into Bangkok because doing so was inevitable, but I would not stay. I had read about the pollution, gridlock, urban chaos and hustlers. Perhaps I would stay in Bangkok for a few days at the end of my trip. So I looked on the web for hotels near the airport. My plan was to take two nights to acclimate and then proceed to Chaing Mai which I naively thought would provide a more authentic experience.

My lessons in the ways of Thailand began immediately. I cleared customs at about 12:00 AM and telephoned the TK Palace Hotel, which is about two kilometers from the airport, and asked, "How much?" "400 baht, sir." When I arrived at the desk the room was 1,400! I learned that Thai's do not emphasize the first syllables when saying a number in thousands in English. The place was big and thoroughly legitimate. There was clearly no attempt to intentionally mislead me. I had not heard a Thai person speak English before and I had misunderstood. It was going on 1:00 AM, I was disoriented and exhausted. I paid and did as my guidebook had suggested in difficult circumstances - I smiled.

So, as often happens, the first place I stayed in a new country was the most expensive place I ever stayed in the country. At the time I still thought in dollars and did not feel $32 was too expensive for a decent room and an excellent buffet breakfast.

The hotel was set off of a busy, divided road on the outskirts of BKK. The surrounding neighborhood had a country feel. As I sallied forth to take a walk Thailand presented its charm. A five year old girl was walking past me on the opposite side of a small street. "Hello!" she chirped. What a delight! Little girls are taught to shun strange men in America, not welcome them.

I was greeted another time, but did not have the experience to respnd as I would now. A woman passed by as I admired a garden. She was good looking, perhaps 30 years old, dressed in cut-off overalls. "Hello. Are you Paul?" she asked. Of course she would not know me, but Paul is a very close approximation of my name. I smiled and looked away! Damn! It was my first day in the kingdom. She walked on. To my credit I can say that I came back to that place the next day, but of course she did not reappear.

So this was my very first experience in Thailand, two days isolated in a nice hotel. A couple of things surprised me. There was an old farang there, perhaps 75. A dignified man, but not in the best of health, he walked with difficulty. What is he doing here I wondered? The help was extremely respectful to him and waied to him a lot. Now of course I know that Thailand is a place a where an old farang can get along well and find people (female people) to take care of him. Perhaps he lived at the hotel. Then the girl at the hotel internet shop surprised me - she was so pretty and businesslike. We had to walk outside together to get to the office with the computers. As we walked she said that my backpack was open, and then zipped it closed as we walked. An American woman would not touch like that. Although polite and reserved, she was not shy. She was the outgoing, "touching" Thai woman with which I am now familiar. Thailand was introducing itself.

So, BKK was off-limits for now I flew to Chaing Mai and supplemented my Lonely Planet Guide with a book of walking tours. Ha!! Are you kidding?! Trying to follow a map Thailand! As someone told me recently, "To go anywhere in Thailand, you have to know where you are going." After a couple of blocks I had completely lost the route.

I had read more than enough about touts and hustlers and was on guard. However, after losing the trail, I allowed myself to be taken on a "tour" by a tuk-tuk driver! He said he would take me all day for 200 baht. I certainly wasn't getting anywhere on my own and took him up on the offer. Ha! Can you imagine that? Going on a tour with a tuk-tuk driver in Chaing Mai! I was dragged around to every tour bus stop in the area - the "handicapped factory," , the umbrella factory, the furniture factory, the jewelery factory, the silk factory. I was thrown a few bones in the form of going to the "school monkey," the elephant camp, the snake farm and the butterfly farm. My driver got a commission for every stop. But beginners luck! The guy was great and I had a good time. Months later he sent me a Christmas card.

I only did one really stupid thing on the tours - I bought a silk shirt at a tailor shop for 1,500 baht! Yes he got a commission on that too. It didn't fit at all but somehow I let them convince me that it did and went away happy. 1,500 baht!! I had the sleeves shortened twice after that! That was my fourth day in the Kingdom.

A few days later I met an expat after a round of golf and I look back on that meeting as the single greatest stroke of luck I have ever had in Thailand. For years he had worked as an engineer for an American company in Thailand and he told me how happy he was in Thailand. He had been in all sorts of situations, always felt safe and never had a problem. He said, "You can't get in trouble here unless you are incredibly stupid. The country is very safe and very forgiving. Whatever you want to do, go ahead, it's okay." The caveat being that you are not a drooling retard. I talked to him for about an hour in the golf course cafe and he enjoyed enlightening the naive newcomer. He rented an apartment in Pattaya, "sin city" he called it, and he smiled a lot. He was a real character! He was in Chiang Mai dating a nurse he met on the internet. He said he came with "no expectations." His visit is an event for the nurse and her co-workers and he seemed to be partying with all of the nurses in the hospital. He said he has worked his way down from the eight floor. "Tonight I am getting together with the fifth floor," he said, looking so very proud of himself.

Talking with him, I actually asked him a question something like this: "What about the women here?" I mean I didn't know anything! I saw guys going out with Thai girls in Chiang Mai and I had tuk-tuk drivers pushing everything at me - girls, boys, young girls - but I didn't want to go with prostitutes and I certainly wasn't interested in children. If I was going to have a girlfriend, she was going to be "real." And he filled me in on the girls. "If you see one you like, talk to her. Maybe you would like to take her with you when you travel. Ask her. It's okay. If you want to give her some money you can. If you don't, it's okay." Wow! This guy green-lighted everything! I felt really good having talked with him. He was living in a way that I have now modeled - he is what I call a "half-pat," splitting his time between Thailand and his home in Seattle.

A few days after this, and still celibate, I went off into the countryside. I wanted to get away from the kind of young tourists that populated the guesthouses in Chaing Mai. They would go hither and yon in packs, roaring around on big motorbikes. They would go on "treks" organized by agencies that have no respect for the indigenous people whose culture they sell and spoil. No, I would go on my own as always. I went Northeast by train and bus and ended up in the tiny town of Nan where another amazing piece of beginners luck occurred. I was taken in by a sixty-year old doctor's wife who owned a lovely restaurant in Nan. She offered to take me touring. A charming lady, a Jeep Grand Cherokee and a beautiful restaurant. I was not going to refuse!

We visited temples and wats and took an excursion into the beautiful hills to visit a Hmong village. When we came back to town she wouldn't even let me pay for gasoline. I ate at her restaurant and met her friends. Her kindness and generosity gave me another strong first impression of the this wonderful country. Certainly I had never been treated like this in Europe, Canada or Mexico.

After ten days in Nan, I went to Phuket and ran into Nu. She was cooking at a little red hot chili pepper roadside restaurant where I had asked about something to eat. "Too hot for you!" she said and we laughed and I ended up sitting inside with her family while Nu shared fruit with me and ordered something I could eat from another vendor. She was 145 centimeters (4'8") and 42 kilos (92 lb.), wore little, round, dark-framed glasses and was blessed with very large breasts. She was a bit serious and very adorable in that precious way little, dark-framed glasses can make a very little girl. We talked awhile and she told me that "sometimes when business is not good, I go with farang." "I wonder how business is now?" I thought...

But, I ate my lunch and went on my way. A "real" Thai girl, sort of, I thought, except for that "goes with farangs" thing. And my it's-no-good-if-you-have-to-pay-for-it naive newbie idea reared its ugly head. But I could not help thinking about this cutie, and being in serious need of a little feminine touch after four weeks of celibacy, two days later I put on a nice shirt and slacks, went over to her place of business and invited her to dinner.

She was really nice and went along with everything I suggested like walking in order to get some exercise and not be ripped by the over-priced Phuket taxis. She served me my dinner item by item. Later when the door closed behind us at my hotel, Presto-Chango! the little girl set aside her cute glasses and all of her clothes, took me in the shower, soaped my dick and her chest and brought them together in a very heated way. As a newbie, I had heard a lot about what Thai women would not do. Apparently she hadn't! She sucked the dick, got anal with the oral and smiled when I came in her mouth! A few days later she sucked my toes while manipulating my "three piece set" with her little foot!

After a couple of weeks of Nu and learning to scuba dive the time came to say goodbye to Phuket and this was the last chapter of my "beginners luck" and almost the end of my trip. I went to Bangkok for three days and found Pat Pong. Nothing remarkable happened except for an hilarious misfire with two young girls who were "horney, horney" until I paid their bar fines. Once out of the bar they were hungry, hungry! In their early twenties, they cleaned out a 7-11 at my expense.

[Guest]

ZANE MAY

Excellent post. Really enjoyed reading it. Keep it coming. Mike P.

[gsoutien]

Great post! But somehow I've the impression I read this piece somewhere else before. Am I right?

[ December 18, 2001: Message edited by: gsoutien ]

[bushman]

Enjoyed the post. You are not the only one who watches his baht. Can't stand to overpay---I must be a cheap stake . But can't help it. I was raised that way.

You must have many other experiences you can share with us.

 

Bush

[zanemay]

quote:

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Originally posted by gsoutien:

Great post! But somehow I've the impression I read this piece somewhere else before. Am I right?

[ December 18, 2001: Message edited by: gsoutien ]

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Gsoutien,

I really appreciate careful reading and your good memory! The part about Nu was posted before, perhaps as long ago as the old Delphi board.

And boys, thanks for your feedback. I didn't know if I would have many readers for this post.

I said that I had never been treated this way in in Europe, Mexico, or Canada. I forgot something that happened in Canada. I will post an incredible experience in the Board Bar in the next few days.

Zane