zanemay Posted June 10, 2001 Report Share Posted June 10, 2001 Bugs and Breakfast "Excuse me waiter. There's a bug in my snot." Sarcastic remark of a woman inmate looking at her dinner in a BKK prison. "Brokedown Palace" ********** It is the end of my long trip to Thailand. It seems like this time I saw more bugs than last time. And over the three months I have been here it seems like I have seen more and more each week. At first the vendors had two or three models to choose from, now the carts are piled high with six of seven. When I pass by the carts I walk quickly by without looking. This must be high bug season in Issan. Up until now, a few days from the end, I have left them alone. But this evening I am sitting with a bunch of excited ladies around a table at a bar in Pattaya. I am eating a piece of lean barbecued chicken. A special vendor must have come by - I can't quite see the street. But the girls are jumping up excitedly, running off and coming back with bags of insects - big grasshoppers, fat water bugs, and larvae. Girls from the other bars are streaming past us. Two bags end up at our table and my friend hands me a grasshopper, "Papa want?" "Okay, okay." Papa is not sure he want, but what the hell? Papa has a thing about trying everything once and he don't see anybody dying. On the contrary, they are munching away and giggling like kids at a barbecue. Having seconds, thirds and fourths. I take the inch and half long grasshopper and think: Which part do you eat? Dipping sauce or no dipping sauce? I hold the bug by the head, contemplating its butt. Yes, that looks good! There is crunching and sucking all around me. Well maybe not good, but if you are going for protein, wouldn't it be in the tender squishy part? I bite. Hummm... crunch. No problem... This guy or gal has been fried like a potato chip. I look into the hollow barrel of the belly I have severed. The innards have been shrunk into a little black thread during the fry. I pop the rest - head, feelers and long legs into my mouth. Crunch, crunch. Not bad. Nip holds out another: "One more?" I take. For dessert I am offered a larvae. Ah yes...nothing like a delicious bug abortion to polish off a good meal. Is a Chateau Margeux or a Lafitte Rothchild preferred? Just drink the Singha beer I have I guess, and pop the half inch long quarter inch round egg in my mouth. Hummm.... ? This one does have a bit of squish to it, but there is nothing offensive about it. Oh, I'm not saying it is good. But not too bad. I limit myself to two. Watching the waistline, you know. ***** Two days later I am back in Bangkok passing time before my flight home. I have gone to bed at 3:00 AM and wake up a little hungry at 7:00. I am staying at a little hotel on Soi One which stretches between Sukhumvit Road and the giant Bumrungrad hospital. Workers walk up this street from the Skytrain station and there are loads of vendors selling breakfast from carts. Groggy, I go out on the street hoping to find kao pat gye - fried rice with chicken. Or maybe fried eggs. A few steps from my hotel I find a fellow with a large operation - six buffet pans set up on a cart. I make a couple of selections that look like they won't burn the lips off my face. He puts rice in a Styrofoam takeaway box and I point to a dish of clear noodles with some vegetables and curly stuff and an egg dish topped with dried shrimps. 20 baht (44 cents.) I slip back into the hotel room where the girlfriend is sleeping as soundly as when I slipped out. I open the box. The noodles are delicious as are the eggs. The eggs are hard-boiled, halved and cooked again in a slightly sweet sauce. The dried shrimp are delicious as always. This forty cent breakfast is a little culinary masterpiece. The noodle dish is excellent, but what is that curly stuff? I have been in Thailand long enough to know that any food that I don't recognize is probably some part of a departed pig. I have learned that there are an unbelievable variety of pigs pieces with different tones and textures. But these bits baffle me!? As I spoon them away onto the open lid of the box they take shape. Boiled ears! A bit crunchy and not too bad, but a lot of fat and not to my taste. I leave them and finish the rest. Satisfied, I drift off to sleep for another two hours. [ June 11, 2001: Message edited by: Zane May ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Scrutinizer Posted June 11, 2001 Report Share Posted June 11, 2001 Zane, Your post about the gastronomical delights available in Thailand is spot on! Had me laughing aloud! Well written and funny as hell. Thanks! Cent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Scrutinizer Posted July 19, 2003 Report Share Posted July 19, 2003 18/1 7/18/03 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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