Pattaya Day 2: Secret Sex with my cell phone

[asiafun]

Pattaya Day 2

 

I snap myself out of my daydreaming and drag myself to do the shit, shower and shave routine. While in the bathroom I really take the time to admire the deep well tub which kind of reminds me of the soaking tubs in Japan. First you get cleaned off and then when all of the soap and grime is removed do you get in the large tub of hot water. I know, I know?who the fuck cares. But it gives me ideas for my next night of passion and a new meaning to water sports.

 

After I get my clothes on it?s a losing race to finish a pot of coffee before I have to run out the door nearly forgetting my laptop power cord. The HRC has those magnetic card keys you have to stick in the slot to power the room. I hate coming back to a hot room so I use my airline frequent flyer miles card (the non credit type) to stuff in the slot and off I go.

 

We jump in the company car and the boss has the Cheshire Cat grin?Now if I can just get the bastard to disappear like the cat. Boss: ?So how was Michael?? Me: ?Fuck you?real funny? Boss: ?Thought you?d like that? Me: ?What comes around goes around?

 

Meetings always seem to be real nut busters. Try as they might, the local staff puts in a great deal of effort to make things right for meetings but always seem to manage to screw something up. At least the office girls look great. I have not and will not ever sleep with a coworker though. No good will ever come of it.

 

We start the endless series of meetings, briefings, consultations and verbal masturbations. I swear you get these people in a room and its like a huge mutual hand job session. Well anyway a good way to piss people off is to have your cell on so the vibrate is the way to go. It turns out one of my little psycho ago go ex-girlfriends from months past finds out from one of her little spies I am town and starts the calls and texts.

 

I got this new phone just before the end of the last trip and am trying it out for the first time on this one. The vibrate function is rather robust. Buzz buzz? wooo that felt interesting?buzz buzz wow that was right on the sensitive spot. If the bitch would just call I could actually get some use out her. On cue Buzz buzz buzz buzz damn I might have to turn this thing off its getting hard to concentrate. Maybe I should have one of the girls to put it in their pocket. Hmmm would that be lesbian sex by proxy?

 

By noon I realize psycho girl is not going to let up as there was enough calls and texts that the vibrations from my phone could have brought every female in the building to climax. It is definitely time to get a new sim chip.

 

We break for lunch and I pop into the cell phone store down the street for a new sim card about 280 Baht and I only get 50 Baht air time? 1 2 Call of course. I plunk down another couple thousand for a bunch of 300 Baht cards. Each load of a 300 card extends my chip expiry a month. Not that I wont be back anytime soon.

 

The man has a thing for the Sizzler and so its time for Royal Garden Mall. I had the steak and chicken with a couple drinks and the bill was 500 Baht. What?s that, like 12 US Dollars? How can you beat it! Although I would rather eat Thai as I believe in trying to eat the cuisine of the country you are in.

 

Two more hours of mind numbing power point presentations one of which done by a girl who spent way to much time watching Power Puff Girls on the Carton Network as it showed by the extreme use of pastels in her presentation.

 

By 3pm I am in my room getting a power nap. By 5pm I am tossing and turning and I?ve got a raging boner. Do I rub one out in the shower or do I save it for the head queen on Soi Post Office. The Head Queen idea wins out and within 45 minutes I am in the Pump House picking out some cute snatch named XXX and a few minutes later of the trek to the secret porn room, I am drinking a Singha, watching a lame porno while some girl is trying to give me head while I have a condom on?condom courtesy of her of course.

 

10 minutes goes by?.15 minutes?the theme from jeopardy is going through my head?20 minutes and the poor girl has a look of desperation, determination and hope that it will be over soon. By 23 minutes she looks up with those big brown eyes and is like ?when you cum? ?It won?t work with a condom darling? ?No! you cum now!? ?Take it off don?t worry I get check ups all the time and I have got enough medicine (preventive antibiotics) in me that you (I) have nothing to worry about? ? She shakes her head no, tries for a couple more minutes and then gives up, rips the rubber off and really goes for broke and starts deep-throating the bad boy.

 

Like clockwork, within a few minutes she gets cream soda down her throat and I feel a great burden has been lifted. Now its time for some real partying. I tip the gal an extra 400 for the hard work and its off to Walking Street. She wants my number and I give it up knowing that she will never call. I am not sure what it is but the girls on Soi post office never seem to like calling.

 

I take a nice walk down the road to the unknown Soi and get a bite to eat at the Blue Parrot. Of course I have to avoid Habib the tailor always saying crap like ?hey man?what?s up??. No thanks I get my suits done in Korea pal. If you have never been to the Blue parrot, I highly recommend it. They have the best tex-mex food and this time I get the Mexicali. It?s a mixed plate and I wash it down with one of those big-ass margarita?s.

 

The thing about eating here though is that its a lot of food and I always seem to have to take a shit an hour later so it?s time to make my way to the vicinity of the Soi Diamond area so that I may avail myself of the fine facilities of the indoor carousel. It has a nice bathroom with a shitter that is doored in for privacy.

 

This time the super baby/girl to the left is open and its time to enjoy this batch of honeys. Like the other place it has some great lookers but are only slightly more friendly than the other ?super? place. Koreans and Taiwanese seem to love this place and I love to freak them out by using what little Chinese or Hanggul that I know.

 

After two beers in 20 minutes its time to go up the Soi in the alley part and see if they are still doing the nasty show. The place is closed down but there?s always Marylyn?s above the open air beer bar by the entrance to Walking Street. One of the bosses new bootlickers is here for the visit and we always make them go during their first trip for the shock value and to see what they are made of. I guess that perverse pleasure in seeing others in great distress and dark humor are two of the few things my boss and I have in common.

 

Like I said the first nasty show place is closed and I can feel the sinister urge brewing in my bowels so it?s the indoor carousel time. I arrive and this little hammer I met about 18 months earlier is back and is looking much hotter now that she is a bit older and looking more experienced. She?s got these piercings that she?s learned to use quite well. My thoughts on her get pushed to the back as the fart-shit separator is reaching critical mass.

 

Business done its back to the brews and dancers with a much clearer head. We chit chat a little longer but its no go as I am just not picking up the same vibe I used to. Maybe she?s lost that edge that made it seem like she kind of cared. Maybe she?s just a little too jaded now about the whole scene. In either case she got her ladies drink and I?ve got another two Sing?s in me.

 

My next stop is this side alley bar. I can?t remember the name but it?s not too far down the alley?you might be bale to see it from the street?but it?s a lot like a tittie bar in the USA. The girls are dancing on these platforms right in front of you and they are topless. Then I notice they have these gauze like panties on and by some magical cue the girls pop the clips and out comes the poonani! Yes! We have bush! Most of the girls are average looking so the excitement is short lived but I pass on a few 20 Baht notes to the dancers before I move on to another favorite ?Champions?.

 

This hole in the wall bar is actually kind of nice and comfortable. It plays great rock music and there seems to be enough varied looking ladies your bound to see one that will light your fire. It?s here that I pick one who looks like a real fireplug. She looks kind of like a Chinese-Thai mix and that really gets my juices going. A quick chat over a ladies drink and she does this little thumb-finger trick under the leg of my shorts that results in a boner a few seconds later. Damn that was neat. Here?s your fine and don?t waste any time darling. The girl really had her shit together and was a fantastic piece of ass. Old MJ got another 5 star performance that night.

 

The next morning I felt a bit better and we tried to go for some water sports in the deep well tub. After nearly breaking both of our necks we just filled the damn thing up and made our own Tsunami?s. I knew the maid might be a tad pissed from the water everywhere but hell she?s been getting tipped well. Fun time was over and she was on her way with more than enough payola to guarantee a call from her in the future. No coffee this time as there is a Starschmucks just down beach road.

[Encore]

Nice report, it is always great when you can combine business with pleasure. Looking fwd to next day.

[BJ_Blackowitz]

Very nice FR

 

but :

They have the best tex-mex food and this time I get the Mexicali. It?s a mixed plate and I wash it down with one of those big-ass margarita?s.

 

Now you are in the land of teh best food in teh world and you want Tex-Mex???

 

That is the same as getting a Wiener schnitzel at the local Chinese, or a Hamburger In the middle of yucatan.

 

 

yeeeach..

[saucier01]

Another great report. Keep 'em coming.

 

Cheers.

[sayjann]

'Secret Sex With My Cell Phone'

 

i'm disappointed.

judging by the title i was looking to you not being a Hansum Man and having to resort to switch on the Vibrate option while alone in the room after being rejected by all the Girls............

[Guest]

Fun reading - thanks for sharing!