Day 8: The Beach and Band Camp

[asiafun]

Day 8: The Beach and Band Camp

 

This day was the day I knew I would have to repack all of the crap I bought in order to get ready for my last night in BKK the next day.

 

My day started with an 8 am wake up by my travel agent. ?Hello Kuhn Dave, the Chatra Court Hotel will be expecting you sometime after 1PM?. A pause on my part as I clear my head of sleep inertia and with my most pleasant voice??Umm darling, did your assistant not tell you I was staying an extra night in Pattaya and that I was only spending one in BKK prior to my departure.? ?Oh no sir, sorry sir but I will fix that right now and there will be no more problem?

 

After the call I found it difficult to sleep in so it was rise and shine, a little morning exercise and off to Simple Simons to start the day. This day the place was packed and it took a wee bit longer to get our food. Overall it was still good grub and I actually took time to notice the hammers that were here enjoying breakfast with the Falang BF?s.

 

After Brunch it was a quick walk to the beach ware kiosks on beach road for some over priced towels and other sundries. Note: Buy your stuff you need for the beach someplace else besides beach road. If not you will pay a hell of a lot more for the merchandise.

 

After the quick stop it was across the road to the first area with umbrellas. I was there for some sun and had the beach boy remove them from the front row we parked ourselves at. The price was a paltry 20 Baht per person for the entire day. That?s it.

 

After we settled in I did a quick check of the water for safety in this particular area. No excessive pulls from the wave action and tide so it was thumbs up. I watched the ladies frolic in the water for about an hour enjoying how well they played with each other and once they tired it was my turn to rent a jet ski. It was 600 baht for the half hour and once on board I gave it a good check out which revealed a sticking throttle cable and a worse than usual response for left turns.

 

I took it back two minutes later and tried to explain to the big fat Samoan looking Thai and the older Thai guy what the issues were and they looked at me like I was full of crap or had no idea what the hell I was doing. I insisted they take the bugger out for a ride and see for themselves but they insisted on saying I was mistaken. A few minutes later the owner showed up asked me what the problem was and he immediately told me to take the fat kids jet skis and enjoy. The big guy looked pissed and embarrassed.

 

As I pulled away from shore the manager and big Thai guy began to work on the Jet Ski. After awhile I was getting fatigued and I also was surprised that the owner was not flagging me in after the 30 minutes. I figured he felt bad about the service and so I offered the young ladies a ride but they politely declined. They muttered something about not knowing how to swim that well.

 

I paid the manager a little extra and sat back to continue watching the dismantling of what began to appear to be a seriously jacked up Jet Ski. They pulled more crap out of the engine assembly than I thought possible. It was at this point I could tell the owner was visibly pissed as he began to realize his workers had not been performing the preventative maintenance that they should have been doing.

 

The manager started to take apart a few of the other jet skis and noticed similar issues that occur from a lack of proper care. Insecure fuel lines, clogged impellors, abraded control cables etc. This guy was visibly pissed but managed not to let loose a verbal barrage that was obviously well deserved by Abbot and Costello.

 

Satisfied, I smiled a smirk at the pair of dolts and left the beach satisfied in the knowledge that I scored one for falangs everywhere.

 

It was my last night with the girls in Pattaya so I decided I would go all out and reward them for ensuring my free time in Pattaya was the best it could be. Manicures, pedicures and hairstyles for them to start the evening followed up by their insistence we eat at the Blue Parrot.

 

The food was served within about 3 or 4 minutes of our ordering. I would almost think that the girls had placed a call to the staff to let them know we were coming and had preordered. It appeared that they were remembering little details as I began to realize then why things had gone smoother than usual while in Pattaya.

 

After the Parrot we stopped by a tattoo shop as the girls wanted to see what could be had. They weren?t in the mood to have my name tattooed on their ass but they did opt for some nice henna tats that added to their allure.

 

The next stop was a tailor, I believe it was George Fashion or one near him and had some rather exotic looking dresses made for the ladies and some suits for me. After the sizing we were off and blew a few more thousands of baht on shopping along central. We then swung by the Middle East section picked up some Kebabs to go from one of the cart vendors and caught a bus back to the hotel Soi.

 

Once at the Soi we opted for some foot massages that were to die for. I found towards the end that I was having a hard time staying awake and one of the ladies was out cold. Once done I tipped the masseuses well and we headed back to the hotel.

 

Once there we popped in a really good copy of ?American Pie: Band Camp?. The girls seemed to enjoy some of the campiness of the film which resulted in us not being able to finish the movie as we decided to act out our own scenes of which an oboe was not a part of. Needless to say I did not get much packing of suitcases done.

[Solomick]

Sounds like you had a fantastic holiday.

I really do enjoy Pattaya.

Excellent report.

Thanks.

 

[asiafun]

I am glad I can continue to keep you guys entertained.

[BJ_Blackowitz]

good report. Just missing some gore details :-)

[longwoodguy74]

Solid reportage.

[asiafun]

As you say in your signature don't leave anything that can be traced back to you. In this particular trip report series that is close to the case. Perhaps my Philippines trip I can elaborate and go into the "gory whorey" details.

[Torneyboy]

Thanks..nice report