Communication

[Guest]

I'm on my second non b/g Thai girlfriend, and I'm over the moon.

She's one of the most beatiful Thai women I know, a great lover, 13 years younger than me, and has a heart of gold, I think. I met her in my home country so she isn't after me for my Visa, nor for my money, and thousands of miles away from the meddling family.

I have only one complaint and I hope you guys may be able advise me on this. I struggle to get her to express her thoughts and feelings on a deeper level, typically she answers "I don't know" and she's told me generally she just doesn't think. I know in Thai culture people generally don't communicate on this level much, but my previous Thai girlfriend learned to do this reasonably quickly though of course she'd avoid it if she thought there would be potential conflict.

It's not for lack of vocabulary, she has no trouble finding words when it's time to "poot len".

Do I just need to be patient? Am I expecting too much from a different culture? Is there anything I can do to encourage her to express herself? Am I too much of a SNAG? Do I have to go back to the fat farang solo mum scene or learn to do without?

Thanks.

[whosyourdaddy]

Yes that is a common problem. Most Thais that I know do not really communicate on a deeper level, whether it be personal, political or other issues. I would like to have a heart to heart with my g/f about the current political situation but it does not interest her. It could be just this womens personality that she shuts down when things gets too personal.

Thai women are lacking in some ways but make up for it in other ways. I have rarely met a women who is complete. Just accept her for what she is. If you need better communication move on.

[Pescator]

quote:

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Originally posted by swampjock:

SNIP

Getting to the point, the one's intellegence, or ability to communicate on a deep level is directly relevant to the persons background, regardless if it is through education, or the willingness to wish to communicate.

SNIP

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Hi,

I disagree with you. In this case we are talking about a thai woman. I realize you have referred to your thai friend who is highly educated, but I still believe you are talking about women in general.

This certainly is a *cultural* thing. Most thai women that I know of, my wife with whom I`ve been married for 10 years now, included will not appreciate to go into an in-depth conversation about her personal feelings. I have just learnt to read her signals by now.

Once asked why she didn`t want to go into such a conversation she said "This is the way I was brought up".

I am not saying that all thai women are like this, but a substantial part. My wife has not been able to change although we have spent most of our time together in Europe and she has in many ways become westernized.

Hua Nguu

[Guest]

I repeatedly came accross the same problem with my ex. Her mood would change for no fathomable reason. When I enquired what was wrong, her stock answer was 'You should know'.

Helped the relationship along no end

[Guest]

seasider,

I'm not making light of this thread, but the answer you got, is a Western womens pat answer to that question. When I was was married and I asked what is wrong, I alway got this answer, 'if you don't know I'm not going to tell'. If we knew, would we be asking the question? Maybe its not a Western culture thing, maybe just a women thing in general.

[Guest]

Leotex

You could well be right. maybe its more a personality than culture thing

[bibblies]

Can't you try getting her drunk a few times?

I've found that when they come out with their major inner thoughts, it's almost always when you're dying for some kip..

[Guest]

Hi guys, I have been sitting back, for awhile now, and just reading the interesting output.

In the premise, I have been to Thailand only 4 times, in the last 5 years, so I am no expert.

I live in Sydney Australia, and know a few thai people here, and some in Thailand itself. I have a good Thai friend, women, who runs a restaurant. She comes from down south, Krabbi. She is very intellectual, and university trained, and I have had many deep and knowledgeable conversations with her, on thai culture, politics and society. She herself has considered getting involved in thai politics, even though she frankly admits, it is a dangerous profession to be involved in.

Getting to the point, the one's intellegence, or ability to communicate on a deep level is directly relevant to the persons background, regardless if it is through education, or the willingness to wish to communicate.

As to whether or not you want a good communicator, or your happy with just who she is, is the main thing. many times I have had a women who is quiet, and you wonder if you have enough in common, at the other end of the scale, one who is very good, may make you feel insecure.

I think if it works to a good degree, enjoy what you have.

I will be in Bangkok on 12 march, may drop in and check you guys out for real.

[Guest]

Last year during the elections in Thailand I spent some time with a very vocal Thai woman who debated the merits of Thaksin versus the incumbent . We discussed Thai politics in depth and she became very passionate about the issues that were about to affect her and her freinds lives . Then we even got into an argument about some personal things we disagreed on ! To me it was no different than having a lively conversation with one of my female friends at home in Canada ! And in general I've always found Thai women to be very willing , and capable , of intillectual debate ! Also it has been my experience in the West that men are more prone to keep their feelings locked up . So I guess it's all just a matter of what's going on at the time ? Just my observation .

[Guest]

Well, after giving it some time I find that she can communicate on a deeper level when I want her to, not as much as a farang girl of course but enough to maintain a healthy relationship I think. In fact i think one of the reasons she likes me is that I make her pood jing whereas other guys just pood len or chat her up ;-)

 

 

 

So what else? just one thing to ask the guys for advice on cause i think it is fairly common among Thai women, that is acting like a kid. She acts like a kid a lot of the time, I quite like it sometimes when we are alone but in public it can be very embarrassing. I feel like I am constantly being related to like a Dad, that's kinda nice in moderation but sometimes leads to me getting flustered. She's 22 and I think she is used to getting through life by being incredibly cute, and she is, I'm 36 and i don't feel old enough to be her Dad.

 

 

 

Anyone else experience this kind of behaviour? Any advice on strategies on reducing it without making her feel stifled?

 

 

 

Thanks.