Jakarta? I nearly had to ....

[Long Gun]

Well, I'm in the slowest internet cafe in the world so while I'm waiting for the next post to appear I will fill you in on my exciting adventures so far - all of which took place at home!!

Sunday night on the Sprite did not prevent the onset of some nasty bug which has taken over my system since I waved goodbye to the boys at a disturbingly empty Thermae. I spent the night and most of the next day spreadeagled on the sofa, clutching the TV remote and laptop onlie for the odd moments when I regained consciousness. I had arranged to meet Frogpatrol who promised - and delivered - some excellent info on Japan. Sadly, he is also another Ranger - 38 and looks about 18 - there's enough of them about already!

Anyway, I hauled myself together and went to do some crucial holiday shopping - condoms, Vitamin V (been meaning to experiment properly with this and thought it might help with my virus-induced lack of 'power') etc, etc. So, met the man, more Sprites and returned to try to do some hotel booking and pack my bags. I don't know why (well, I suppose I do really!!) but the thought did occur that The wife might pop in (from Buriram!) to say goodbye so I thought it might be a good idea to conceal any incriminating items first ....... at which point I fell asleep on the sofa. At 3.00 am I awoke (to say 'with a start' would be an understatement!!) as the front door opened and my darling wife appeared!! Apart from the 'normal' shock I was instantly aware that next to me on the sofa was a plastic bag containing enough incriminating evidence to cost me just about everything I value in the world. I managed to make enough fuss to get myself in front of the bag - I could see one of the boxes through the plastic! - and sat shaking for about 5 minutes until The wife went for a piss and I whipped the bag into the bedroom and threw it behind a case in the top of the wardrobe. I still wasn't convinced that The wife hadn't sussed something and spent a nervy 15 minutes or so shuffling about until she fell asleep. One of the most bizarre things about this whole incident is that, if a friend’s calculations were correct, is that it took place 365 days TO THE HOUR since I walked into the hotel in Pattaya, with a new chum, where she was waiting with the kids!! Remind me of this next year, somebody, please.

A sleepless night was virtually guaranteed from then on but I was determined that I would rescue the bag - not just because of the financial outlay but because I though The wife might stay on in Bangkok for a while and search the place! It could, of course, have led to me being unnecessarily caught red-handed but ..... I got the bag out of the room but still wondered whether she might check or 'repack' my bag so I bunged the condoms in a box of stuff someone left and hid the Vitamins in the bottom of a Vitamin C bottle.

Sometime later, I took a shower, woke The wife up and did me duty. She said she had come to say goodbye 'properly' - the weekend in Surin hadn't been too good from 'that' point of view - and to collect some things for the boys, though later she did admit that her main motive had been to try to catch me out butterflying. I'm not sure if I should have felt angry or flattered - no need to respond to this as I think I know who would say what! - but I have to admire her ingenuity and perseverance.

In fact I admire it so much that I have been in Jakarta for 24 hours and I haven't had a shag! Still not convinced she hasn't tailed me!! Nah, not really, but I slept virtually throughout the taxi ride, both flights and when I got to my room at about 7 (Jakarta must have the worst immigration counter in the world, surely!) I slept on and off through till 9.00 am when I dragged myself down to breakfast, then went back to bed until now. I still have a fever and general achiness so I will probably try a Melawai massage first before I trek around Blok M. I honestly feel like I don't give a toss whether I sleep alone or not but it's me holiday so I feel obliged. I haven't called my Bandung tourguide yet, partly because I don't want to hear that she can't come and partly because I would rather not have her wanting to come to the hotel tonight. If she's not available I will probably postpone the journey for a day. BTW, I am in the Boulevard Park Plaza in Simpli - not bad for the money - and ended up booking an 'Executive De-Luxe' in the Savoy Homann in Bandung - I noticed something on their website about reconstruction starting in October 2000 so I wouldn't be surprised if it's still going on as the price seemed rather low - $25 net incl 2 brekkies!

Oh well, onwards and upwards (hopefully!)

 

PS There is a happier follow up to this in 'Regional Sanuk'!