Sanuk in Hainan

[Sukhumvit]

Cheers Homeboy

 

I've been running around like the proverbial blue-arsed fly lately but will continue my epic later in the week or possibly next weekend. It gets a little more raunchy and also more dangerous.

 

Anyway, time to check out the rest of the site.

[Guest]

I just came back from Hainan, it is an interesting island!

 

 

 

My first impression is that there is very few 'white', so we are looked with curiosity as strange specimen on the streets, in the shops, restaurants, etc. Very few people speak english, so you have to be able to communicate in Mandarin or their local chinese language. Girls, just few of them are pretty, are always smiling and very kind, but it is not easy to bring them back to the hotel.

 

 

 

The Health/Massage Centers at hotels are a good source of girls, but you have to be insistent. At the first or second request they tell you that massage is only available in their premises, at the end they send you a girl to your room.

 

 

 

- Huandao Tide Hotel Sauna Center: you have to ask for the 'Scene Manager' Ji, he will send you a pretty girl to your room in 10 minutes. Nice girl, 20ish, small massage, bbbj and fj. 800Rmb/ST. Only chinese is spoken, so almost no communication.

 

 

 

- Hainan Mandarin: you can choose the girl to be sent to your room for massage. 130Rmb for the massage plus 700Rmb for the special (body massage, bbbj, fj, ar, etc.). A little english is spoken. I got am average girl, but very sweet and incredibly sensible, just by fingering her she was very very wet, she even did allow my finger in her back hole. Not typical for chinese girls.

 

 

 

It is not the best place in the world for Sanuk, but if you want to have some 'relax', it is available and not too expensive.

[Sukhumvit]

East Jichang Road, the very sound of the name sends me into raptures of... well, a bit like Marcel Proust in his Remembrance of Things Past where he had his tea and crumpets seminal mind fuck, (if anyone understands what I'm on about please let me know).

 

 

 

We stuck to the left hand side of the road and ambled as aimlessly as possible taking in all the sights and smells. Trying desperately to look like we knew where we were going.

 

 

 

It's a bloody noisy place China. Activity everywhere. Motos, taxis, hawkers all calling for attention. Even so, we could not fail to notice the cutester in leopard print hotpants beckoning by the bottom of some stairs that led who knows where. Hotel? Massage? It was fairly obvious that there was some sort of knocking shop up there. We passed by as we were in search of the amber nectar.

 

 

 

Scooting over the road to the lobby bar of the Overseas Friendship Hotel, (I think that was the name), to regroup and sup some Tiger beer. Around us well dressed Chinese smiled benignly. Waitresses glided by bearing trays of nibbles and ice cold bottles. Shoot, I could live in a place like this.

 

 

 

Out again into the night. The little tom tom drums in my testicles were beating out a rhythm. They must be satiated. But first the soon to be renamed England Boy wanted another scoop. We popped into a bar/karaoke joint with a neon sign indicating the place was called Cowboys and Indians. From the outside we had expected a total pit of sleaze at the least. But no. IT WAS A FUCKING PUB. Okay, drink, chill, relax and try to ignore that incessant drumming from my pants beating out a tatoo "I must have a shag, I must have a shag, I must have a shag, I must have a shag..."

 

 

 

Still the bar was pleasant enough. Again the waitresses were very pleasing to look at and curious as to where we had come from. They seemed genuine enough and were excited by the pocket sized Looney Planet Mandarin Phrasebook I carried with me and whipped out at every opportunity, "yeah baby I know I sure speak Mandarin pretty good but can you lay some lovin' action down on me?" They didn't catch my drift. This wasn't working. They were normal laydeez.

 

 

 

Crossing over the road to a Spa/Massage complex with red clad chicks holding open the door. All signs in Mandarin, no English. Down the hall, on the left a room full of ping pong tables and to the right a hairdressing salon. It seemed to be staffed by lithe girls in uniform and a few effete, lisping Chinese guys with questionable haircuts and a questionable taste in shirts. So these were the famous Haikou homos?

 

 

 

I needed a haircut. Not desperately, but I needed one. Call me a cheapskate but I'd avoided going to the barber before leaving the UK as I knew I'd get it cheaper in the PRC. Plus I wanted a proper massage as my back had been giving me terrible gyp, (I've seriously gotta ask my doc if he can remove that hunch). So I settled into the open plan hair wash room. The uniformed girl who washed my hair very expertly was mistress of her craft. Very nice scalp massage. But then she moved onto my shoulders and neck. Now I wasn't after an amateurish groping on my cervical spine as I was going to have the full Rommell soon. I waved her away with a what can only be described as a wave. Into the cutting room and Gervaise minced around me delicately. Actually, homophobic comments apart, he did a very good job. Nice.

 

 

 

So now it was onwards and ever upwards to massage heaven.

 

 

 

To be continued.

 

 

 

 

[Sukhumvit]

The soon to be renamed England Boy was not in the mood for massage. He stayed downstairs as I bounced upstairs. No doubt he'd find something to amuse him, if not watching the ping pong players maybe he'd actually join in. Plus, his blonde locks were a tease to the hairdressing boys. They just had to get their cutting equipment on him. Would he be safe downstairs on his own? Who gave a f...?

 

 

 

I was introduced to my masseuse. Man, she was dressed in a little white Fred Perry tee shirt, white tennis skirt and plimsolls. Early '20's and bright and perky as a highly polished button. I wanted a proper Chinese medicine massage and temptation was being cast in my path.

 

 

 

Into the half glass cubicle I stripped down and got into the pyjamas provided as she waited coyly outside. Soon she was beating the hell out of my back as I lay face down on the vinyl massage couch. She really did know what she was doing. It was, without being overly effusive, marvellous.

 

 

 

I was flipped over like a runny egg, all floppy with bits fallling everywhere, and she did my front, arms, legs etc. Now, when I'm in the company of an attractive woman and we're in close physical proximity sometimes things happen. Soon I was playing tents and she somehow managed to avert her eyes. (Not that hard really, as wood goes it was more in the sapling category than Giant Redwood). Now, when an attractive woman, to whom I am in close physical proximity, wears a small tennis skirt and starts jerking on my tendons and muscles in my arms then sometimes my fingers have a tendency to grip and relax. Grip and relax. Grip and relax. Just like a Buddhist mantra. Pretty soon my relaxing/gripping right hand was working its way surreptitiously up her thigh and WHAM. She swatted that mutha off of her declaring "bu keree" (which means can not). "Ah, shucks it was an honest to goodness genuine mistake, I thought..." I guess that's one of the perils of the job. She's there wearing her sports therapist outfit and I'm there in pjs trying to be sleazy. Well, then let's find out about each other. She was 26 I think. Married and had a couple of kids. Her husband worked too but I didn't figure out what he did. And her place of work was a normal massage establishment. In fact I should have figured that out as the corridor outside the room was regularly patrolled by sex security guards to prevent hanky panky.

 

 

 

Still, it was fun whilst it lasted.

 

 

 

Two hours later and 125 renminbi later, for massage and haircut combined, and I floated down the stairs to discover that the by now renamed England Boy had disappeared. Where to who knew? What to do?

 

 

 

What to do?

 

 

 

To be continued.

[Sukhumvit]

Not far from the bottom of East Jichang Road on the left hand side going up the street away from the Lake and there's a knocking shop up the stairs. Quoted 150 RMB for st. Was a bit dodgy though as they wanted me to spend money drinking in their karaoke suite and when I refused suddenly 3 guys appeared from nowhere which resulted in a bit of shirt tugging on their part as I edged my way out and hopped it down the stairs.

 

 

 

Other prices for freelancers down the bottom of East Jichang Road and along the main drag towards the Kentucky Fried Chicken were 200 to 300. Some wanted more if they knew you were a newbie. Most of the girls were quite cheerful and had good attitudes although several did the old taxi money routine afterwards. As some stayed overnight I got into the habit of using hotel furniture as hidey holes to stash cash. Slipping a couple of notes under a tv or upright lamp or sideboard never presented any problems as I wasn't too sure about the solidness/safety of the in room safe.

 

 

 

No problems with Haikou Hotel or indeed Treasure Island up by the old airport which was a recommendation from another board. Threesomes possible but don't expect much girl on girl action.

 

 

 

Down in Sanya and there was less of a street/freelancer scene with more of a massage parlour slant. Several hotels had health centre/massage parlours attached and the rates varied from 500 to 800. Not as much fun as Haikou freelancers although there was the advantage of a rather nice beach.

 

 

 

This part of China is really nice, hookers aside. The countryside is tropical with lots of greenery. Water buffalo in the fields outside Sanya. Reminded me a lot of Vietnam/Thailand. The women also were a lot darker skinned, especially the ethnic minorities. Great characters some of them. Difficult to get around without some Chinese language skills as like Beijing the hotel staff down here, apart from the 5 star efforts, weren't too hot on English.

 

 

 

I wish I could have spent more time in the interior of the island as there were some hot springs that I wanted to visit. There's only so much that can be done however on a limited time schedule.

 

 

 

Flying back to Beijing from Haikou with Hainan Airlines was cool. Great, new plane. Attractive hostesses and smooth, uneventful flight. They also had a rather smart formation presentation at the start of the flight where all the hostesses stood together and welcomed everyone on board.