Words of wisdom ...

[Flashermac]

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.

 

While he was lying there, a cow came by and crapped on him. As the frozen bird lay in the pile of cow shit, he began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

 

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. The cat discovered the bird under the pile of poo, dug it out and ate it.

 

Lessons:

 

1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

 

2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

 

3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!

 

:content:

 

[dave32]

A turtle came across a scorpion sitting at the bank of a large river. The scorpion, being by nature a terrible swimmer, politely asked the turtle to carry him across on his back.

 

'Are you crazy?' asked the turtle. 'You'll sting me and I'll drown.'

 

'Silly turtle' laughed the scorpion, 'if I did that, we would both drown, and that makes no sense.'

 

The turtle considered this, and upon reflection relented and agreed to carry the scorpion to the far shore.

 

Halfway across the scorpion gave him a powerful sting. As they both drowned, the turtle turned to the scorpion in resignation, 'Why did you do that? it makes no sense and now we're dead...'

 

'It has nothing to do with sense' replied the scorpion. 'It's who I am.'