my latest trip (day 4)

[sayjann]

bad, bad day.

 

woke up early and just watched N## sleeping.

 

bought to mind lines from 2 songs.

 

 

 

'but you still live in those days when i'd stay awake and watch you sleeping'-aimee mann.

 

 

 

'i count your eyelashes,secretly,with every one whisper i love you.

 

i let you sleep,i know your closed eye watching me,listening,i thought i saw a smile'-rem(at the time she was obviously dreaming and her eyelashes were really moving around.

 

 

 

i looked at her and thought how beautiful she was and what a lucky man i was(those of you who have seen her picture know what i mean).

 

 

 

got up and showered and started to pack.

 

i was going to BKK today for 3 nights.

 

N## woke up and i joined her on the bed and we just enjoyed holding each other and talking.

 

 

 

now in the past N## had lied to me many times and i normally found out and this had caused many problems between us and it had got to the stage where everything she said i took with a pinch of salt.

 

i thought it was sad that i felt this way.

 

 

 

she told me she had gone home in feb and helped in the building of her new family home and also worked many days in the fields.

 

i looked at her closely and she was really darknow,darker than normal for an isaan girl and i believed that she was at home.

 

she had not mailed me for 3 months and knew that in her village they did'nt even have running water,let alone internet access,so i accepted her story.

 

 

 

she had lost a lot of weight and i could put my fingers around her upper arm and my thumb and forefinger would touch and i felt sad.

 

in nov 2001,she had mailed me and asked for 30,000 bt as she needed an operation and i had just passed it off as a scam and ignored her.

 

 

 

now it seemed she had a big problem with her stomach and did need an operation,but kept putting it off as she was scared she would not wake uo and her son would be left without a mother.

 

this choked me big time,suffering because she thought of her son more than herself.

 

her bag was full of pills and lotions she had to take everyday and she had to go to phuket town every friday for injections at a cost of 500 bt a time and i know,for i went with her once.

 

 

 

first bad news of the day,got my plane ticket and looked for my passport,nowhere to be found.

 

the previous day i had spilt drink on my jeans and had picked up the first pair when i got back to the room and later in the evening i realised my passport was in the back pocket.

 

 

 

now no sign of the passport in the pocket and i tore my room apart looking for if,but no joy.

 

realised i had either lost it or had been a victim of a pickpocket.

 

 

 

rang up thai airways and asked if i could still fly to BKK without passport and was told no.

 

stupid law/rule,which says you cannot fly internal without a passport.

 

 

 

by now realised that my trip to BKK was off and rang up the hotel in BKK and cancelled the reservation and than rang Mistress Gaow.

 

anyone know or been with Mistress Gaow?.

 

 

 

rang her on her mobile and delivered the bad news.

 

i could tell she was not happy at me cancelling at 5 hours notice,but what could i do?.

 

later sent her a private mail and she replied in a sympathetic mode,but i felt(and still do) really bad at having to cancel.

 

i made the arrangements to see her and her friends,A## and T## months in advance and i did feel a real barstard at letting her down.

 

also i had hyped myself up to all the perverted things that would happen that night and now it was all a no-go.

 

 

 

also had to inform members of this board i could not attend the board meeting and that was a disappointment as well,wanted to put faces to names.

 

had to get in touch with a couple of people from another forum who i had arranged to meet and cancel.

 

i was so pissed off.

 

 

 

i have never spent quality time in BKK and was looking forward to visiting all the places i have read about,s.cowboy,nep,edens,annies and a bj bar or 2,but now no way and i was really fed up.

 

 

 

N## and i left the room(no sex this morning,i was so pissed off i did'nt want it) and went for lunch and a drink.

 

 

 

to be continued.