Grandpa Comes for a Visit--part 7

[Central Scrutinizer]

 

Grandpa Comes for a Visit--A True Village Ghost Tale--part 7                    

 

                  Part 7

 

 

So there I was this fine day with a functioning weed whacker, a fridge full of cold beer Chang, some falang breakfast in my belly, and a throbbing toe, which seemed to not be broken, and the pain of which was gradually fading to a distant memory.

 

As I whacked the weeds of my mini lawn in front of the house I once again became the center of attraction for every passing old man, old woman, pack of children, soi dog, and curious villager. Most seemed to have never seen an electric weed whacker before, nor a falang cutting his lawn, and found this to be either amazing, amusing, or downright dangerous. Not knowing that the cutting edge of this machine is but a thick piece of fishing line really they were concerned at my working in sandals with the thing buzzing away so close to my feet.

 

Most have only seen the huge gasoline powered grass cutters/edgers sold in the area. I'd seen these on sale at the night flea market and considered buying one, but figured that after a couple beer Changs this would end up a good way to earn the nickname "Hop Along", after chopping off a few toes. Sharp saw blades these have. Plus they are heavy and would play hell with my back problems. I showed a few people that this weed whacker would not cut you if it hit your foot. It stings like a bastard, and can leave thin welts depending on the thickness of the line, but it won't cut you. They were amazed at how it would cut the weeds and grass, but wouldn't cut skin. Another magic act from the amazing falang dear villagers! The Great White Ape is such a great attraction in this village. I should charge admission.

 

I sweated and swore, and didn't really help my back at all, as I tend to go overboard when feeling healthy in the lower spine, and was amazed myself at the thickness and sturdiness of the grasses and weeds, and their stubborness to be cut back to a more civilized length. Made me wish for a gas powered foot chopper and a pair of thick steel-toed leather work boots!

 

Fucking tough weeds over there in the village! I was going through line like crazy, as the tougher weeds kept breaking off the end of the line and I had to keep extending it every few minutes! I'll have to bring over some thicker replacement line for the weed whacker next trip over. A lot of the grass is just weeds that are like small creeper vines growing everywhere through the lawn, but I was determined to conquer the shit even if I had to use the whole spool, dammit!

 

After an hour or so the wife and Sis brought me refreshment in the form of an ice cold beer Chang and some Kow Pat Gai with cucumbers and scallions, with hot peppers of course. They clucked about over my already tanned, though quickly reddening skin, and warned me to not stay out too long bare-chested. The sun was strong, even though it was rainy season. I pooh-poohed their concerns and drank and ate my lunch.

Much to my chagrin I later had a pretty decent sunburn for my efforts. Must be that damned Swedish blood from my father's side of the family.

 

Once back to work, whacking away, I noticed old Mama with short handled rice sickle in hand cutting away the grasses at the edge of the dirt culvert where the concrete ground gutter ends by the house. Seeing her go at it the other younger ladies all sitting about on their asses and gossiping away at Sis Mun's shop next door across the side yard got a bit ashamed at their laziness, and, becoming motivated seeing the old woman working in the hot sun, the clouds having dissipated almost entirely over the village by now, a good half dozen of them swarmed the culvert with sickles and cleaned out all of the debris filling the ditch, and cut back the thigh length grasses and weeds to a more reasonable height.

 

All right Mama! Education and inspiration through example. Now we would have a clean sewer to drain the waters away and keep down the opportunities of the mosquitoes and such pests to breed throughout the, just beginning, rainy season.

 

Mama seems to be very happy with her new son-in-law, and we get along famously. She's a smart old broad, and knows how to get the youngsters to do what needs to be done without saying a word. She seems happy now that she didn't stab me with the big butcher knife as she threatened to do me on my first visit to the village. She sees I'm not some lazy falang cunt, drunk on lao khao every night and thinking I'm better than everyone, and I am always doing things to improve living conditions, not only for me and the wife and daughter, but for all the family around us, including her. She seems to have a genuine affection towards me after these past few years, and is always doing little special things just for me almost every day. It's amusing to watch the wife jump when Mama perceives her to be lacking in her care for her husband, me, and lights into her with a verbal harangue and ass chewing, which gains me lavish care for weeks after! She's my champion, and stands up for me in most arguments, and gives the best lucky strings from Buddha for me.

 

Within a half hour the culvert was draining properly and all cleaned out and cut back, with the debris and cut grasses piled high along the road to dry for future burning later on.

 

I smiled to myself at her cleverness and style, gave her a wink as she passed me going back to her gardening, to which she grinned a small conspiring grin in acknowledgement of my spotting her cleverness at gaining me help in my endeavors, and I finished whacking the lawn and frying in the sunshine.

 

(to be continued.)

 

Nulla dies sine linea

 

 

Cent

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"Labor is often the father of pleasure."

 

Voltaire, Discours

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[Central Scrutinizer]

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