CTO

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black: 1. He called everyone brother. 2. He liked Gospel. 3. He couldn't get a fair trial. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: 1. He went into His Father's business. 2. He lived at home until he was 33. 3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian: 1. He talked with His hands. 2. He had wine with His meals. 3. He used olive oil. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian: 1. He never cut His hair. 2 He walked around barefoot all the time. 3. He started a new religion. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian: 1. He was at peace with nature. 2. He ate a lot of fish. 3. He talked about the Great Spirit. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish: 1. He loved large gatherings that served alcohol. 2. He was always telling stories.. 3. He loved green pastures. But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a WOMAN: 1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.. 2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it. 3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was work to do. AMEN

The Loyal Wife There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, 'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the after life with me.' And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him. Well, he died . . . He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, 'Wait, just a minute!' She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away. Her friend said, 'I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband.' The loyal wife replied 'Listen, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.' 'You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him !!! ?' 'I sure did' said the wife. 'I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a cheque. If he can cash it, he can spend it.' Moral of the story: Women are cleverer than Men ..... Send this to a clever women you know, or a man with a good sense of humour

An elderly couple were having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?" Martha replied, "Well Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason. Henry was obviously hurt by his wife's confession, but said, "I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by 'good reasons?'" Martha said, "The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn't pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?" Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, "I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?" Martha asked, "And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn't have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge." "I recall that," said Henry. "And you did it to save my life, so of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time." "Alright," Martha said. "So do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed 73 more votes?"

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door. Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The professor is very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.' Then, a Member of Parliament comes in for a haircut , and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament is very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the Members of Parliament.

from my friend in HH WASHINGTON POST'S MENSA INVITATIONAL .... (Jokes) Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition The winners: Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. Th e bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. Glibido : All talk and no action. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are: Coffee , n. The person upon whom one coughs. Flabbergasted , adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. Abdicate , v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. esplanade , v. To attempt an explanation while drunk. Negligent , adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown. Lymph , v. To walk with a lisp. Gargoyle , n. Olive-flavored mouthwash. Flatulence , n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller. Balderdash , n. A rapidly receding hairline.. Testicle , n. A humorous question on an exam. Rectitude , n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. Pokemon , n.. A Rastafarian proctologist. Oyster , n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. Frisbeetarianism , n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologise. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him. 'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked,'How does that feel'? He replied: 'It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken.'

THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR YEARS. THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND'S HABIT OF FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE. THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR. EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP RIPPING THEM OFF BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK. HE TOLD HER HE COULDN'T.STOP IT AND THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY NATURAL. SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR, SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT. THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN ONE CHRISTMAS DAY MORNING, AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER AND HE WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT THE INNARDS, NECK, GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PAR TS, AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER. SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND, GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK, SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF HIS UNDERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY GUTS INTO HIS SHORTS SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN WITH HIS USUAL TRUMPETING WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOT STEPS AS HE RAN INTO THE BATH ROOM. THE WIFE COULD HARDLY CONTROL HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, TEARS IN HER EYES! AFTER YEARS OF TORTURE SHE RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY GOOD. ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWNSTAIRS IN HIS BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE. SHE BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER. HE SAID, "HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT." "ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED ME AND I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU". "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" ASKED HIS WIFE. "WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP FARTING MY GUTS OUT, AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED..." BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, WITH SOME VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM BACK IN.

"There was a young man of Kildare Who was fucking a girl on the stair. The bannister broke, But he doubled his stroke And finished her off in mid-air." "There was a young man of Khartoum Who lured a poor girl to her doom. He not only fucked her, But buggered and sucked her -- And left her to pay for the room." "There was a young woman named Alice, Used a dynamite stick for a phallus. They found her vagina, In North Carolina, And her asshole in Buckingham Palace." "That naughty ol' Bishop of Birmingham Buggered three maids while confirming 'em, As they knelt seeking God, He excited his rod, And pumped his episcopal sperm in 'em." There once was a whore from McHugh Who filled her vagina with glue As she said with a grin "They will pay to get in and they"ll pay to get out of it too". There once was a young man from Nantucket Whose cock was soo long he could suck it He said with a grin, as he wiped his chin "If my ear was a cunt, I'd fuck it!" There once was a lady from Wheeling Who had a peculiar feeling She laid on her back, and tickled her crack, and pissed all over the ceiling. There was a young lady from Leith, Who would circumcise men with her teeth, It wasn't for fame, Or love of the game But to get at the cheese underneath. There was a young actress from Crewe, Who remarked as the vicar withdrew, The Bishop was quicker, and thicker and slicker, And two inches longer than you. There was a young vampire called mable, whose periods were always quite stable, at every full moon she took out a spoon, and drank herself under the table. There was a young plumber from Lee, who was plumbing his girl with great glee, she said stop your plumbing, I think someones coming, said the plumber still plumbing "its me"! There was a young lassie from Morton, who had one long tit and one short 'en, on top of all that, a great hairy twat, and a fart like a six fifty Norton. There was a young girl called Molly, who fancied a bit in a quarry. She laid on her back, and opened her crack. And the bastard backed in with a lorry. There was a young man from Harrow, who had one as big as a marrow. He said to his tart, try this for a start. My balls are outside on a barrow. There was a young girl from Devizes, who had tits of different sizes. One was quite small, almost nothing at all. But the other was big and won prizes.

An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town to quench his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, 'Hey old man, have you ever danced?' The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, 'No, I never danced, and I've never wanted too.' A crowd had gathered quickly and the gunslinger grinned and said, 'Well, you old fool, you're gonna' dance now,' and started shooting at the old man's feet. The old prospector in order not to get a toe blown off or his boots perforated, was soon hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet and everybody was laughing fit to be tied. When the last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double barreled shot-gun, and cocked both hammers back. The loud, audible double click's carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds, too, and he turned around very slowly. The quiet was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels. He found it hard to swallow. The barrel of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands. The old man said, 'Son, did you ever kiss a mule's arse?' The young bully swallowed hard and said, 'No sir, but I've always wanted to.' There are two lessons for us all here: 1. Don't waste ammunition. 2. Don't mess with old people.

Two priests were standing at the urinals in the Vatican. One noticed that his friend was wearing a Nicorette patch on his old fella. He felt he needed to comment that he thought they were meant to be on the arm or the shoulder not the dick. The other replied â??Well it sure is working, Iâ??m down to two butts a dayâ?Â.

It wasn;t that funny - ahhh - your trying to get 10 posts quickly

Some have been posted before - but I still laughed My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on the TV?'I answered, "an inch of dust" And thats how the fight started... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'I bought her a bathroom weight scale.And thats how the fight started... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply forSocial Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver'slicence to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realised I hadleft my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but Iwould have to go home and come back later.The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealingmy curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest isproof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at theSocial Security office.She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gottendisability, too.'And thats how the fight started... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and Ikept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone ata nearby table.My wife asked, 'Do you know her?''Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear shehasn't been sober since.''My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'And thats how the fight started... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took myorder first."I'll have the T bone steak, medium rare, please."He said, "Aren't you worried about mad cow?""I answered " she can order for herself."And thats how the fight started... -------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.She is not happy with what she sees and says to me,'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.I really need you to pay me a compliment.'I replied 'Your eyesight is so perfect my dear.'And thats how the fight started..... -------------------------------------------------------------------- I tried to talk my wife into buying a carton of Carlton Draught Beer for $39.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And thats how the fight started.... --------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife asked me if a certain dress made her bum look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterdayand thats how the fight started..... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I was asleep with my wife like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.The wife, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled 'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'So I jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out thewindow. I smashed myself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush andto my car as fast as I could go.A few minutes later I returned and went up to the bedroom andscreamed at wife, 'I AM your husband!'She quietly said, 'Oh Yeah? then why were you running?'And thats how the fight started..... ----------------------------------------------------------------------- I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation."Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"And that's how the fight started.... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?""No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's how the fight started.... --------------------------------------------------------------------

A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down. A lady cashier walked up to him and said, 'Your barracks door is open.'Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled. When he was about done shopping, a man came up and said, 'Your fly is open.' He zipped up and finished his shopping. At the checkout, he intentionally got in the line where the lady was that told him about his 'barracks door.' He was planning to have a little fun with her; so when he reached the counter he said, 'When you saw my barracks door open, did you see a soldier standing in there at attention?' The lady (naturally smarter than the man) thought for a moment and said, 'No, no I didn't. All I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on a couple of old duffel bags.

Hey I just illustrated USVirgins post with a pic I will if someone post s more jokes

This girl has same problem

Love it!

Ouch

Perils of a Catholic Upbringing As I walked down the busy sidewalk, knowing I was late for Mass, my eye fell upon one of those unfortunate, homeless vagabonds that are found in every city these days. Some people turned to stare. Others quickly looked away as if the sight would somehow contaminate them. Recalling my old pastor, Father Mike, who always admonished me to 'care for the sick, feed the hungry and clothe the naked,' I was moved by some powerful inner urge to reach out to this unfortunate person. Wearing what can only be described as rags, carrying every worldly possession in two plastic bags, my heart was touched by this person's condition. Yes, where some people saw only rags, I saw a true, hidden beauty. A small voice inside my head called out, 'Reach out, reach out and touch this person!' So I did. I won't be at Mass this week.

Why thank you - you big sweaty man you!

nICE bRIDGE

Sincere Apologies To Everyone, Over the past months I have forwarded funny pictures and jokes to friends who I thought shared the same sense of humour. Unfortunately this wasn't the case and I seem to have upset quite a few people who have accused me of being sexist and shallow. If you were one of these people, please accept my humblest apologies. From now on I will only send emails with a cultural or educational content such as old monuments, nature and other interesting structures. Attached, you'll find a picture of the Pont Neuf Bridge in Paris ..... For those of you who are interested, Pont Neuf is the oldest bridge in Paris and took 26 years to build. Construction began in 1578 and ended in 1604. "Le Pont Neuf" is actually made of 2 independent bridges, one with seven arches and the other with five arches. Fascinating.

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?' The father thought for a moment, then answered: 1. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, then, 2. Go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, 3. Go ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and then tell me what you learned. So the boy went to his mother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?' The mother replied, 'Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great Un iversity!' The boy then went to his sister and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?' The girl replied, 'Oh my Gawd! I LOVE Brad Pitt! I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?' The boy then went to his brother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?' The brother replied. 'Of course I would! Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?' The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad. His father asked him, 'Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?' The boy replied, 'Yes!' 'Potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars', 'Realistically, we're living with two hookers and a homo'

the above is a joke Munchie

< SD -- doesn't mind a bit as Ms V doesn't abuse it >> Doesn't abuse what? I seem to pay all the mobile bills.

Two Blondes With Hammers... Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are you throwing those nails away?' Carol explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.' Donna got completely upset and yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house! +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie? They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.' ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ You might have to think twice about this one. A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked her. 'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied. 'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?' 'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, 'I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants. I'm not shooting myself in the chest.' 'So then?' asked the doctor. 'Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened. I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.' 'So then?' 'Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: 'This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing in to her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, 'What are you doing?' The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, 'Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.' ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos..... it keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold.' 'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!' So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked? 'Why, that's a thermos..... it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,' she replied. Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?' The blonde replied..... ...'Two icecreams and some coffee.' +++++++++++++ AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?' The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.' The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest.' 'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.' The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. 'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks. 'No!' exclaims the blonde. 'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!'