Mekong

I am not sure if this should be in this thread or Munchies "Anyone want to loose some weight" thread.

An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds."

When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 POUNDS!

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

The Irishman nodded..."I'll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t'aut I were going to drop dead dat 3rd day."

"From hunger, you mean?"

"No, from de bloody skippin'!!!!!"

Umm. I was extremely drunk last night. I feel as though i have got off scot free. Sorry about that mekong - genuinely. I was a complete pillock.

Stan no worries, as I said, I was probably being just as provocative as yourself, sometimes my style can get to people more so than out and out insults. It was all in good jest and we have given a few other board members a laugh as well.

No damage done and welcome to the select group of pillocks

Stan,

It was me who you were attacking and I am probably as much to blame as yourself for adding fuel to the fire, I can be an antagonising prick at times.

It was all in good fun IMHO.

I was considering writing a long winded reply to this thread, but I cant be arsed to waste my time. Scam Artists require victims to operate at a profit, and there are a lot more naieve tourist victims in Thailand at present than scammers.

Victims adverise themsleves as such and are easy pray. Admit it, I see / hear so many stories abot tourist rip offs and Thai Gal cheats Farang, the Irony is just unbelievable.

Just read the Stickman weekly blurb and it seems that the scammers have stepped it up a large notch!

They chased this guy into the shopping mall, police were called, but the police did NOTHING!

The scammers roamed around and found this guys picture and he barely escaped in a taxi!!!

The shopping mall had videos of the attack, but the police were not interested.

Cav.

I tend to disagree, IMHO the OP was pushing a personal vendetta too far and got his come uppance, as has been stated both here and in Sticks diatribe, never take a crap in an asians rice bowl, rock the boat and you will capsise.

Scams, Crap, Bullshit, Corruption, call it what you like is part and parcel of Asian Society not just Thailand, and in order to survive, make a living and have a life here one needs to keep eyes and ears open and mouth shut, shit happens don't become a victim!

I feel that if he presses anything then he is sure to end up dead somewhere...

Pushing is a better word ... as in pushing up the roses.

And in Sticks column he refers to him as "a long time Stickman reader - and a friend"

Part of Darwins theory of evolution was how the gene pool found its own levels!

Neo,

For a start read what rchapstick said and what I agreed with

Any idiot with an internet connection or a copy of lonely planet knows what to look for.

I was not referring to a scrap of paper, but the website of the UK Foreign and Commonwealth Office, Travel Advice for Thailand.

As for scams that are not on the list I agree totally, but the OP is only referring to one Scam, and making the statement "The Word Isn't Out", something I demonstrated to be an incorrect statement.

I have to agree with rchapstick on this,

Taken from UK Foreign Office own website.

Crime

 

Ten British nationals have been murdered in Thailand since January 2005.

 

Unlicensed taxis and minibuses often overcharge tourists for airport transfers. You should ensure that the driver has a working meter or agree a charge for the ride before taking it. There is a cheap, reliable airport bus service to the centre of Bangkok.

 

Watch out for crimes of opportunity. Theft of passports and credit cards is a problem. Passport fraud is high and penalties are severe.

 

There has been a number of incidents where tourists have had their drinks drugged (in both tourist areas and red light districts). You should be careful about taking drinks from strangers and be wary at clubs and parties, particularly in the Koh Samui area and at the Full Moon party on Phangan Island where incidences of date rape have been reported. A number of British nationals have suffered severe psychiatric problems as a result of drug use, in a small number of cases resulting in suicide.

 

We continue to receive reports of sexual offences committed against foreign women and men. In January 2006, three British women were raped in separate incidents in Thailand, including one who was murdered. Female travellers in particular should maintain a high state of personal awareness during their time in Thailand.

 

[color:red]You should beware of being approached by strangers who offer to take you to gem shops. Once in the shop you may be asked to purchase gems on your credit card. The gems are sent to your home address in the UK. However, they are rarely worth the value you pay for them. It is very difficult to get your money returned as the shops shut down quickly and re-open somewhere else.[/color]

 

You should report any incidents of crime to the Thai police before leaving the country.

 

For more general information please see Victims of Crime Abroad

It would appear the word IS OUT!

Hampshire police thought it would be a good idea to advertise on the rear of a bus. Their planning did not take into account the position of the exhaust pipe.

Hi,

 

"KS was confused enough with the joke, you will have totaly lost him with that comment."

 

Yep, pretty much

 

Sanuk!

KS,

The "must be a cat with no tail thing.......... " line was referance to my birth place The Isle of Man also referred to as 70,000 alcoholics clinging to a rock. The Manx Cat is famous for being tailess

must be a cat with no tail thing

Come on SJ ... KS was confused enough with the joke, you will have totaly lost him with that comment.

Lost in translation

Cyclops

One I'd sounds the same as "One Eyed"

Git "Noun. An idiot or contemptible person. Derived from 'get'. " Source

So One I'd Get similar to One Eyed Git (Idiot)

Hence the Cyclops hit him

It seems Teddy recieved the same emails as I did yesterday.

21) Ah, beer. The cause of and the solution to all of life's problems.

Homer Simpson

Some good ones in there Flash, I liked

19) Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken.

--Unknown, presumed deceased

The presumed deceased part made me laugh,

Touche

ijs5 joke reminded me of this old one

An Englishman an Irishman and A Scotsman went to a Brothel in Amsterdam and were told that the going rate was â?¬25 / inch.

A couple of hours later after doing the dirty deed they were chatting to each other outside, the Englishman said " Not bad for â?¬200" the Irishman, somewhat bragging said" I paid â?¬250" then the Scotsman added "Well I only paid â?¬75"

The Englishman and Irish looked at the Scotsman and burst out laughing â?¬75 ha ha ha, the Scotsman replied "I don't know what you're both laughing at, I paid on the way out"

Following the death of Pavarotti the Three Tenors will now be known as 20 Quid!

Just Teasing ... Being a "Professional Pedantic Asshole" is part of my job description and it has been one of those days today.

Rather than let off steam here I think I will take the 200 Meter stroll down Soi AR and into Soi 6 instead, having digs in Pattaya for work sure beats anywhere I ever was in the ME

No, they are at the ticket office

The 'Punchline' is the part of the joke where one laughs. If you started laughing before you got to "ticket, please", you must have a strange sense of humour.

I did not Laugh due to the poor delivery of the (non) joke

Now if you Laughed it must be your sense of humour that is in question, or maybe ones lack of ability to comprehend the written word in front of you.

Line 5 was Outbound Journey, I see that

The alledged joke is about the return journey

OK lets put it in simple English

Tickets Please as a stand alone punchline is not funny but

The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Scots leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Englishmen are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."

But since there were Scots in each restroom where did one of the Scots go to knock on the Door of the Englismens restroom, they were not even on the Train!