Coss

What is the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face

We had an outage at my place this morning and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad & my new surround sound music system were all shut down. Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was flat and to top it off it was raining outside, so I couldn't play golf. I went into the kitchen to make coffee and then I remembered that this also needs power, so I talked with my wife for a few hours.

She seems like a nice person.

What's the difference between an Afghani Military Base and a Pakistani Elementary School?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

What do you call an Afghani who owns a camel and a goat?

Bisexual.

I heard they found the plane,

well at least, Sarah Palin tweeted, that she could see the wreckage from her house.

Quite, many theories, no winners yet.

My only thoughts are that if it was terrorist or suicide or another intentional reason, whomsoever did it would have said something, left a note, whatever.

In the apparent absence of this communication, it would likely be accidental, but then there's all that manoeuvring - so - still a mystery.

I wonder if they'll know how to breed?

Missing Malaysian plane not detected by Lao civilian radar

Lao civilian radar has detected no sight of missing Malaysia Airlines plane, which vanished from the skies on March 8 after departing Kuala Lumpur, it was confirmed by the Director General of Civil Aviation Department, Yakua Lopangkao yesterday. "We had staff in Vientiane control tower at time of the plane missing and none of them could see anything unusual through the windows".

Confirmation that the plane was not detected in Lao airspace was given to the Malaysian government through the Lao Ministry of Foreign Affairs at the request of the Malaysian government, the director said. "Yes we can to report that we've seen nothing."

Asked if it was possible for the Kuala Lumpur – Beijing flight MH370 with 239 people on board to pass through Lao airspace despite the civilian radar not detecting it, Mr Yakua said "it is possible since the signal transmitter on the plane was switched off. Our radar would not pick up a plane if it is not transmitting a signal."

Mr Yakua was expected to meet the Malaysian Ambassador to Laos later in the afternoon.

According to the normal scheduled route, the Kuala-Lumpur – Beijing flight does not pass through Lao airspace, but in such cases the flight could have flown outside its planned route, Mr Yakua said.

The monitoring of Lao civilian data was made in response to the request from the Malaysian government after suspicions emerged that the plane could have flown though Lao airspace.

Malaysian Prime Minister Najib Razak acknowledged on Saturday that military radar and satellite data raised the possibility that the plane could have ended up somewhere in Indonesia, the southern Indian Ocean or along a vast arc of territory from northern Laos across western China to Central Asia. Malaysian officials said they were scrambling to coordinate a 25-nation effort to find the plane, according to New York Times.

Mr Yakua told Xinhua News Agency that all commercial pilots have been instructed to report any suspicious sightings of debris or other traces of the plane to the Department of Civil Aviation.

"We have quite many objects, quite many areas, spots, because we are surrounded by forest," Yakua was quoted as saying by Xinhua.

I'm sorry, the above has been edited to take the piss....

The original article is below, still amusing though...

Missing Malaysian plane not detected by Lao civilian radar

Lao civilian radar has detected no sight of missing Malaysia Airlines plane, which vanished from the skies on March 8 after departing Kuala Lumpur, it was confirmed by the Director General of Civil Aviation Department, Yakua Lopangkao yesterday.

Confirmation that the plane was not detected in Lao airspace was given to the Malaysian government through the Lao Ministry of Foreign Affairs at the request of the Malaysian government, the director said.

Asked if it was possible for the Kuala Lumpur – Beijing flight MH370 with 239 people on board to pass through Lao airspace despite the civilian radar not detecting it, Mr Yakua said “it is possible since the signal transmitter on the plane was switched off.â€

Mr Yakua was expected to meet the Malaysian Ambassador to Laos later in the afternoon.

According to the normal scheduled route, the Kuala-Lumpur – Beijing flight does not pass through Lao airspace, but in such cases the flight could have flown outside its planned route, Mr Yakua said.

The monitoring of Lao civilian data was made in response to the request from the Malaysian government after suspicions emerged that the plane could have flown though Lao airspace.

Malaysian Prime Minister Najib Razak acknowledged on Saturday that military radar and satellite data raised the possibility that the plane could have ended up somewhere in Indonesia, the southern Indian Ocean or along a vast arc of territory from northern Laos across western China to Central Asia. Malaysian officials said they were scrambling to coordinate a 25-nation effort to find the plane, according to New York Times.

Mr Yakua told Xinhua News Agency that all commercial pilots have been instructed to report any suspicious sightings of debris or other traces of the plane to the Department of Civil Aviation.

“We have quite many objects, quite many areas, spots, because we are surrounded by forest,†Yakua was quoted as saying by Xinhua.

'We did not pay attention'

Ten days after Flight 370 disappeared, Thailand's military has admitted its radar detected a plane minutes after its communication went down. Why did it take so long?…

Flight 370 hunt hampered by lack of cooperation

Fears are growing that the hunt for missing Flight MH370 is being hampered by failures by many of the countries involved to work together on the search.

10 days after the aircraft disappeared, Thailand's military said yesterday that its radar detected a plane that may have been the Malaysia Airlines jet, minutes after its communications went down, but did not share the data earlier because officials "did not pay any attention to it" and were not specifically asked for it.

Air Vice Marshal Montol Suchookorn admitted Thai authorities could not be sure the aircraft picked up by the radar was the missing plane carrying 239 passengers and crew, but the new information raised further questions about the effectiveness of search efforts, which are being coordinated by Malaysian authorities.

Flight MH370 took off from Kuala Lumpur at 12.40am Malaysian time on 8 March, destination Beijing. The plane's transponder, which allows air traffic controllers to identify and track it, stopped communicating at 1.20am.

At 1.28am, Thai military radar "was able to detect a signal, which was not a normal signal, of a plane flying in the direction opposite from the MH370 plane," back toward Kuala Lumpur, Montol said. The plane later turned right, towards the Malacca strait.

When asked why it took so long to release the information, Montol said "...we did not pay any attention to it. The Royal Thai Air Force only looks after any threats against our country," adding that Malaysia's initial request for information in the early days of the search was not specific.

i.e. 'have you seen our plane?' rather than 'have you seen our plane which is on your radar screens system and despite you not wanting to look at it, could you please be arsed to do so, as we might then find the plane and possibly even survivors' kind of specific?

Relatives desperate for information on the fate of loved ones on board the missing jet have reportedly threatened to go on hunger strike if the authorities in Kuala Lumpur are not more forthcoming.

"What we want is the truth," one woman said, after a meeting with Malaysian authorities, according to the BBC. "Don't let the passengers become the victims of a political fight."

Speaking yesterday, the official leading the hunt for missing Flight MH370 dismissed criticism voiced by officials in China and the US that Malaysia had itself been reluctant to share information with foreign governments. He said such was the desire to find the plane, that Malaysia had shared information with other countries that could potentially weaken its national security.

"The entire search area is now 2.24 million square nautical miles. This is an enormous search area," said Malaysia's Transport Minister, Hishammuddin Hussein. "And it is something that Malaysia cannot possibly search on its own. I am therefore very pleased that so many countries have come forward to offer assistance and support to the search and rescue operation."

The search now covers more than 2.2 million nautical square miles - an area the size of Australia. At least 25 countries are involved in the operation. Yet there still remains not a single physical trace of the plane or the people who boarded eleven days ago.

Officials were last night still searching along two arcs that cut north and south through swathes of Asia. It is believed that it was from somewhere along this line that the final "ping" satellite signal from the plane was sent. Amid speculation about which way the plane might have turned, officials say both areas remain equally important to investigators.

Mr Hussein spoke as investigators continued to focus attention on both the passengers and crew of the plane, searching for any clues as to who may have been responsible for diverting the jet off course. Over the weekend, officials said they believed the actions of the plane as it veered from its planned route and turned sharply West, were consistent with the intentional action of someone onboard.

Mr Hussein said Australia, Japan, New Zealand and South Korea were sending additional hardware to search in the massive southern Indian ocean. He said he had also spoken with US defence secretary Chuck Hagel, given the US's search and rescue capabilities. He said he had also spoken with his counterparts in China, which had also vowed to help search in China itself and along the so-called southern corridor.

Meanwhile, checks into the background of the more than 150 Chinese citizens on board the missing Malaysia Airlines jetliner have uncovered no links to terrorism, the Chinese ambassador in Kuala Lumpur said.

The remarks will dampen speculation that Uighur Muslim separatists in far western Xinjiang province might have been involved with the disappearance of the jet.

At least 26 countries are now assisting in the search for the plane, intensifying challenges of co-ordinating ground, sea and aerial efforts.

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11222288

I was at the corner of Lumpini Park opposite Silom Rd on Monday. All was quiet, all I saw was the usual plethora of stalls selling anything to anybody, but with few customers.

I was too hung-over and it was too hot to investigate further.

BTW the Robinsons at that location has closed.

Reality is nobody has a clue.......especially the Malaysians

Well you see, they didn't have planes in the times of Mohammed, so no-one in the religious police knows what to do...

Yes my logic is flawed, it is also tongue in cheek

Yes, one would assume that if the phones were still working and in coverage, then someone would answer. Highly unlikely that possible terrorists are standing around letting phones ring and telling everyone, "Now no-one answer!"

I note that the Malaysians, Airline and Govt, are being very careful not to admit anything, from sightings to even the initial loss. Paranoia?

55555

"About the only report I've seen on TV recently that made Cambo seem like an attractive option was from the guy who handed his passport and 250USD to a Cambodian official and had a no-questions-asked 12-month business visa in said passport when it was delivered to his hotel the following day. One can only imagine how many retirees in Thailand would have looked at that in dumbstruck awe and thought 'Now that's my kind of country !' "

Which is why I'm in Laos - no hoops to jump through.

Oh and MLG of course….

Every night on Lao TV we see numerous accidents of the day where a motorcycle driver is dead because he doesn't have 'stop' or 'slow down' in his vocabulary. We also see great piles of plastic wrapped heroin that's been caught and the culprits who've been transporting it. Though sometimes I'm convinced that they're using the same pile they caught last week….

I blame the little prissy coffee table, I'm always tripping over furniture made for hobbits...

Not the usual candidate profile for the Bangkok Plunge...

This happened in Scotland in the past also.

You guys should step away from the fire a little. Relax, there's enough tension in the streets...

"so whats the price on his head dead or alive?"

Thailand...

I thought they all got their news via the twitterbookosphere... or is it the googlefacerlog... anyway, you know, that interweb thing...

In case? Now none of us can go to 'merica again...

Well the Clark one is close to (next door) Angeles and Manilla is a 2 (?) hour drive - I'd opt for Clark if it was a direct flight. Unless your talking quality of airport, to which I'd just say, it's the Philippines…