Coloseum Posted January 11, 2003 Report Share Posted January 11, 2003 To those involved with regular TG's, including the married ones: Are they aware that you were/are a part of the scene ? And if so, did you actually tell her outright ? Did you ever discuss the naughty nightlife with her ? What do they think ? How'd they react ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lazyphil Posted January 11, 2003 Report Share Posted January 11, 2003 I really admire guys that fuck around behind their non bar girls and then bitch about bg's and never tell their gf's what they get up too, great guys, the best :onfire: :onfire: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 11, 2003 Report Share Posted January 11, 2003 And do you really think that the Thai or non Thai women that live in Thailand don't know about the husband/boyfriend activities? Don't be so naiive. If somebody goes out on regular basis to some places? Geeeeeeezzz! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidsanuk Posted January 11, 2003 Report Share Posted January 11, 2003 I was a regular 'participant' of the BG scene for a couple of years. 10-12 trips per year to BKK on business. Once I met my TG fiance (NBG) that stopped. Reason? If I am in a serious relationship with someone that I feel deeply for, I'm not going to fuck it up. We are getting married later this year. Have I told her I was a 'participant'. Of course not. There is no need. It is in the past. She will only think less of me if I do so. And the fear of getting caught out or catching something (and I have caught stuff like warts in the past) is very very strong I can tell you. I've had all the BGs I'll ever want and I'm certainly not going to risk what I have now on trying another BG. She might suspect, but I would never admit to it. Sure I have said that I have been to the bars a couple of times with customers, but not mentioned any take aways. We have discussed why the girls do it etc. My response is always that I understand why they do it but feel rather sad for them. The bottom line IMHO, is if you want to play with BGs that's fine. I have done so alot in the past when I was in a shit relationship. But please don't anyone tell me that you love your wife/GF, and that you also play the BG scene like there was no tomorrow. A+B = BS IMHO :-) Just another twist maybe. My fiance has said to me that she understands that I might have to take customers to bars and get them girls ie the Thai way of doing business. And she adds, that if I ever have to participate I must A. Never tell her and B. Always wear a condom. If you were her, would you want to know that your husband has been screwing a BG? What would you think of him if you were in her shoes? I think your question is not so much about how TGF/wives would view their partners encounters with BGs past or present, but more about how the guys view their existing relationships :-) I should just add, that these views are based on a relationship with a NBG TG. I guess if your wife/partner is an ex BG then it would be a different matter. Would be interesting to get that perspective too. Sid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted January 12, 2003 Report Share Posted January 12, 2003 >To those involved with regular TG's, including the married ones: Are they aware that you were/are a part of the scene ? And if so, did you actually tell her outright ? Did you ever discuss the naughty nightlife with her ? What do they think ? How'd they react ? Telling a TG you had other women before her? Voluntarily? She would have to be a very special person and probably tell me her own adventures. I would not try mu luck with any TG...Maybe, only if I was to leave her in less than an hour and we were not in the kitchen... If she ever finds out, deny, deny, deny. If you are driven up to the wall, tell you were dead drunk and the only thing you remember was fitting a condom... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted January 12, 2003 Report Share Posted January 12, 2003 Says sidsanuk: . The bottom line IMHO, is if you want to play with BGs that's fine. I have done so alot in the past when I was in a shit relationship. But please don't anyone tell me that you love your wife/GF, and that you also play the BG scene like there was no tomorrow. A+B = BS IMHO :-) Curious about your statement, are you equating sexual fidelity with love? If you are, can a man not love his companion deeply yet still have sexual encounters with other women? Along that line of thought, can a man not love more than one woman and still love them all deeply? There would be many a Muslim and Mormon or bigamist that would disagree with the one love one woman theory. Actually there would be a ton of men who would disagree in theory but in practice the self inflicted guilt would get the better of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted January 12, 2003 Report Share Posted January 12, 2003 [color:"red"]If she ever finds out, deny, deny, deny. If you are driven up to the wall, tell you were dead drunk and the only thing you remember was fitting a condom... [/color] Right and hope you can get away with all body parts intact :: I know that in a long term relationship, passion wanes and it happens tp both men and women. However, in a good relationship other feelings replces hot heated passion, hopefully. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted January 12, 2003 Report Share Posted January 12, 2003 [color:"red"] Along that line of thought, can a man not love more than one woman and still love them all deeply? There would be many a Muslim and Mormon or bigamist that would disagree with the one love one woman theory. Actually there would be a ton of men who would disagree in theory but in practice the self inflicted guilt would get the better of them. [/color] In the same light, a woman can love several men deeply and at the same time. I had a close Arabic male who after being married for 14 years and produced 4 girls, his mother wanted him to take the second wife. He could afford to and his wife could not stop him. With his excuse to produce boys, he proceeded, after another 6 years and 2 more girls, he literally gave up and became quite a miserable man. I feel that it is better for one man/one woman at a time, and being faithful is the best. Many Thai women were brought up to tolerate men going to prostitute to change their "flavor" from home. I am from a fmily who does not believe in that and we look at others with that tolerance with disdain. Why do some Thais think that it is only men that need the change but not women? I am not looking for equal rights in this context, I just don't understand. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted January 12, 2003 Report Share Posted January 12, 2003 I think what is good for the goose is good for the gander as long as they don't tell each other. Some people engage in sexually open relationships and function perfectly fine in regards to the commitment concerning love. I also believe that a person can passionately love more than one, it is our social structures that make this appear to be morally wrong when those passions are acted upon. Personally, I have loved more than one woman and attempted to conduct more than one relationship. I never felt it was wrong per se I was just tired of having to remember what lies I told. Deception is pretty hard work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 12, 2003 Report Share Posted January 12, 2003 I also believe that a person can passionately love more than one, it is our social structures that make this appear to be morally wrong when those passions are acted upon.Personally, I have loved more than one woman and attempted to conduct more than one relationship. I never felt it was wrong per se I was just tired of having to remember what lies I told. Deception is pretty hard work. Are you saying that the lying and deception *weren't* particularly wrong, or are you saying that the fact that the deceptions were a source of discomfort for you eventually confirmed that the lying and deception *were* wrong? In any case I think you've hit on the main issue here, which is that regardless of one's personal feelings, social structures *do* look negatively on this sort of behavior, necessitating the lies and deception in the first place. People that can circumvent these structures successfully are few and far between. Also, the Thai way doesn't grant all the participants equal status; it isn't about loving more than one simultaneously. It's about relieving what are perceived to be certain male pressures by providing variety. Frankly, and others will flame away at me for this, I think a large part of this is that it is simply a convenient rationalization for weak behavior. I think the original poster should tread very carefully. There is a fundamental conflict here between our notions of being honest and open in a relationship (i.e., part of respecting your spouse is not having secrets, etc), vs the Thai notion of saving face, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.