carew66 Posted February 19, 2003 Report Share Posted February 19, 2003 Rusty, Kipster and Norflaxicin 400 ? Dexy?s Midnight Runners. I hate the morning after the night before. As people have already pointed out elsewhere, it?s not picking the girls up that is the problem. It?s the ?letting them go? in the morning that?s hard, particularly if they seem markedly reluctant to leave. I was saved by the bell ??Ode to Joy? from my mobile ?phone ? when Rusty called to work out a meeting time. I told him to give me about half an hour and I?d catch him in Soi 4. Still a bit confused and with my head spinning from jumping out of bed too fast I bade farewell to the lovely Cleo. Here?s a thing. The horniest thing I ever hear in these situations is a girl taking cash of me and then saying ?kaaaaaaa?. Jesus, it?s enough to melt a heart of stone. Still, I have no heart, just a swinging brick so ?bye bye love? and ?carry on Cleo?. After the first shower of the new day I wobbled my way down to the lobby. As soon I walked in there I saw Popeye Doyle at the desk asking for my whereabouts. It was Rusty - with the Hat. The famous Hat with the brim turned up at the front. The Hat of Rusty. A bit like the Shroud of Turin but a bit tattier. And without a picture of Jesus on it. Now, I have a thing about Rusty and his hat. It cheered me up no end. You see, I had a real rollercoaster of a trip. The ups were as ?up? as I can ever get, but there were times, mercifully brief, when I was really down. Deep down. The sight of Rusty in his Hat never failed to cure the blues. I guess you have to know the guy to really get the drift on this one. A lot of people think they know Rusty from his posts. It?s a start I suppose but you could be in danger of falling for DJ syndrome. You know the old story about the radio disc jockey with the heavyweight ?low-down and funky? voice and then when he appears on television he?s about 50 pounds dripping wet? I think that folks could get an equally inaccurate impression of Rusty from his posts. In real life he?s a steady influence, a diplomat, and a gentleman. Add The Hat to the mix and you?re nearer knowing Rusty if you haven?t met him already. (And I?m not just saying this because I know he?ll be reading this). So after three days in Bangkok we had finally met up. He told me that Kipster100 and N400 would be along at some point but meanwhile was there anywhere we could get a coffee? Sure thing Rusty. We sat in the new smokers area at the front of the Dynasty Inn and watched the world go by. The world watched us back. It was warm. Beautifully warm. The smells from the barbecue stalls just a little further along the street blended with the traffic fumes and the dodgy smell from the drains into that intoxicating Bangkok aroma. A muscular reek that shouldered its way down Soi 4 and sat with us as we drank our coffee, squinting into the sunlight. Rusty was acting as the call-centre as people began reporting in from all points North, South, East and West. In V.I?s case he reported in from Pattaya where he had gone the previous day; a bit like dropping paratroops behind the lines prior to the main invasion. I?ll explain about V.I later. You?ll like him. We drank coffee. Lots of it. The guy with the goitre on his neck tried to sell us cigarette lighters. You?ve met him. You can?t not have met him. I?m writing this in London and I still keep looking over my shoulder; expecting him to demonstrate every bloody lighter that he has in that box that?s slung around his neck. In just one hour he approached us three times. I?ve still not bought a lighter from him yet. Maybe if I did then he?d stop bothering me but I wouldn?t hold my breath on it. We also didn?t buy any lottery tickets from the ticket lady. I?ve already won the lottery, lady: I?m on holiday in Thailand. I don?t get any luckier. ?Kipster?s on his way?, said Rusty. I was slightly apprehensive. Only slightly though. I think it was because I hadn?t met Kipster previously but I did know that a) he was a big fella and he was into Thai boxing. See what I mean about DJ syndrome? Perhaps I was expecting to get drop-kicked by a giant bloke wearing black pyjamas. Whatever. When Kipster did arrive he was, thankfully, not wearing black pyjamas, nor did he leap over the Dynasty Inn sign screaming unintelligibly. On the contrary. He was a tall lad though. He slid onto a stool wearing that now familiar look of many a tourist in that part of Bangkok. A look that said ?Three hours sleep? blended with ?but I don?t care, what are we doing next?? Lighter Man with the goitre couldn?t believe his luck when he made his next sweep along the Soi. A fresh victim! Kipster didn?t buy a lighter either but all three of us dutifully sat through his thorough and lengthy demonstration of his wares. For the umpteenth time Rusty, in the best of humours, flicked his own lighter at him and said, ?I already hab?. Lighter Man ignored him. The guy?s a trooper alright. The little lighter salesman that could?Except he couldn?t. More coffee. We all chatted away, employing the occasional neck sweep as lovely brown girls wafted past on the pavement. Again ? no preliminary bullshit small-talk with the Kipster. Straight onto the big issues. Does it ever get any better than this? Well yes, it did actually. Bus Stop A beer bar a little way along the road from the Dynasty- the Bus Stop - was where we ended up once we had got fed up with drinking coffee and not buying lighters. This was one of those places that I?ve walked past a few times but never really bothered about going in. Because it?s got walls and a gate with greeting staff I would have felt a bit self-conscious about doing an about-turn in there if I didn?t like the look of it. In the afternoon it?s a great place to meet up with people. The main part is just the usual shack roof affair although it is quite big. Then there are a number of tables on the periphery, under the trees. That?s where we set up camp. Our territory was laid out with mobile phones, sun and beer glasses. It usually only takes one person in a group to suggest something to eat ? in our case it was Rusty ? and everybody else will order food as well. N400 had arrived and as the other three already knew each other I busied myself with my Spicy Beef Salad and just listened. I didn?t have much choice in truth as ?Spicy? to my mind conjures up something with a hint of chillies, not fission temperature China Syndrome hotness. So I sat, ate, listened, all through a veil of tears brought on by a capsicum overdose. It was delicious though, although the ?salad? title of that dish is a bit of a misnomer. I suppose chilli is a vegetable though isn?t it? I?m glad that I did eat something that afternoon because I didn?t get another opportunity. It soon became obvious that a ?quick beer? was another inaccurate description as a couple of beers turned into six. You know how it is when the conversation is running well. So we sat and drank and talked with the sun shining through the leaves and the sounds of Bangkok coming at us over the walls: the farty sound of tuk-tuk horns, a man?s voice shouting through a vehicle mounted loudspeaker dopplering past and the muted thumping of bar music from all directions. At some point one of the topics pushed all my buttons, I might even have initiated it. Whatever, it was amazing that Kipster felt exactly the same way about the same subject. We raved and ranted at the world and each other about it. We had another beer on the strength of it. We now both knew that we were going to get along just fine. Just fine. N400 had business to attend to and so did Rusty, and so eventually, after maybe two hours, our little band began to break up and people went their separate ways. Kipster needed sleep before the evening got underway. I was the last to leave. No rush, after all my hotel was only a stride away so I sat and had another beer and took an opportunity to gather my thoughts. Was it the beer, the sunshine or the company that gave me this enormous sense of well-being? (Damon Albarn ? Parklife). I had a whole evening stretching in front of me with all the possibilities afforded to a man in Bangkok with a nice wad of cash. I made a plan, always a dangerous thing to do on any holiday but particularly acute when in this town, and reckoned on being able to post a trip update on nanplaza.com, go back to the Dynasty, have a lie-down followed by a shower and a change of clothes and then hit the town running. That was the plan. I managed to post a trip report ? just. An unfamiliar keyboard and six bottles of Carlsberg didn?t make it the easiest task but I got through it okay and then my ?phone rang just as I was leaving the internet café and crossing the street to the Dynasty. I answered it whilst simultaneously avoiding a kid on a souped up moped. ?Hello?? It was Kipster. He couldn?t sleep. Did I want to go out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Great read mate, can really relate to your stories. Keep 'em coming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redbaron Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Ah, memories.. please sir, can I have some more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 carew66, I agree, very good read. I would have never thought you a writer. I hope there will more to follow. Just start out at the Flintstone bar in Pattaya, and go from there. I think you could just post one on the VI. Speaking of [color:"red"]Rusty[/color], I have meet him on 3 different trips, and I don't have a clue about him. :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carew66 Posted February 20, 2003 Author Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Cheers Leotex! Yeah - I have a load of stuff scribbled down on the backs of fag packets and airline sickbags - I just wanted to see how the first three went down. Introspective bastards us Northerners (aren't we Sil?). Next time I'm taking my beret and smoking Gauloise in Soi 8 whilst drinking absinthe. The VI shall appear in good time. Now there's an enigma! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rookie Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Nice writing style...a good read and thankfully not just another conquest report appealing to the prurient. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carew66 Posted February 20, 2003 Author Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Cheers rookie - I have a problem with the conquest stuff as well myself. Got loads of porn sites on the web for that eh? Having said that I'll have to drop a few teasers in otherwise ib13 won't read my posts and will moan at me next time he's in London! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UAL875 Posted February 21, 2003 Report Share Posted February 21, 2003 Good stuff - having written trip reports on this board I understand and appreciate the effort it takes to put together what you have. The conquest stuff/graphic detail is ok by me as long as it does not become the paramount theme. I refer to that as the "Henry Miller element"... Regards from Tokyo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllenBlue Posted February 21, 2003 Report Share Posted February 21, 2003 Yes...extremely well-written...your prose syncs up well and fires off vivid images to the brain and heart...you may "think to mut"...but you should also keep writing... I suspect you are rather similar to a friend of mine - very big brain with direct connect to heart...better to be a shallow fellow like me... AllenBlue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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