Pretty Lady--Not 100%

[Central Scrutinizer]

 

              Pretty Lady--Not 100%

 

To All,

 

I was up in the village a couple of weeks ago during Songkran. We were visiting the family, although not sleeping over as we now are staying in a new rental house in Surin mostly. We're still finishing moving everything in and getting it set up the way we want. So overnight stays were too much of a hassle because of the time it takes away from what we were trying to accomplish in the short time I was able to stay this trip. Plus the added attraction of the new place is my bedroom has AC, which was handy this time due to the constant heat. My Dad's still sick and I needed to return in three weeks time to help him finish getting back and forth to his chemo-therapy and radiation treatment appointments. My brothers filled in for me while I was away in the LOS. We did however spend a lot of time celebrating Songkran in the village whenever we could.

 

I was sitting at Sis Mun's Isaan emporium and Lao Khao shop, sucking down a cold beer Chang, and trying to keep as cool as possible. No easy trick that. It was hotter than I'd ever seen in Thailand. Too hot actually, and I do love the hot weather really. This was brutal though. I sat under the trees and bushes in the shadiest area by the wooden shopfront, fanning myself with my "Life is Good" baseball cap, while crunching ice cubes with my teeth and letting the beer flow down my throat as it cooled itself with each swallow through the ice mush I held in my mouth. Did I say it was hot? Fuck me, it was! No matter how much liquid I drank it just all seemed to pour right back out immediately through my sweat glands. An occasional breeze would sneak by, teasing us all really more than providing any true relief. Soon I would go in my house and stand under the cold shower for a few minutes respite from the heat. I'd already done this twice in the past few hours.

 

We were visiting Mama before my trip back to Bangkok. She wanted to festoon my arms with more Buddha good luck strings. I'm happy to oblige. I always wear them for the requisite three days, then cut off all but a couple, which I then wear on my right wrist until my next return to the village, sometimes months later. Mama gets a big kick out of the fact that I wear them so long. Shows some respect for her beliefs and superstitions though, and they do bring me good luck actually. Seems to please her no end. I rub them on my gambling tickets/lottery stubs and usually hit for a buck here and a few more there. Everyone of my friends at a pub I hang at ask me to rub the strings on their football pool picks. I win quite a bit, so the gamblers want some of the Buddha luck to rub off on them. No big deal. It's a good laugh, and all in fun.

 

As I sat there fanning myself, contemplating my lowering beer in the bottle before me, and whether I should ask for another soon, or wait a while, as I was getting buzzed and it was fairly early yet, the chicken bone seller wheeled his grimy cart up the street and parked his ass on the dirt right near my seat. Damn the heat! This guy sells the shittiest chicken pieces I've ever seen. Nothing but bones, gristle and skin from what I can tell. I don't know why anyone buys the damned things really. I suppose it's because they are so friggin' cheap. The Thais seem to be able to digest any goddamned thing they eat, and have strong teeth. They crunch away contentedly on this crap. I refuse the bits offered me. Takes me forever to finish one damned piece. The heat from his cart, not to mention the billowing smoke from the grill on board, drove me to a perch further into the open sided shop, where I did grab another beer just for spite, and turned the lone battered plastic oscillating fan on a stand toward my glistening flesh. Did I say how hot it was?

 

The children were bugging me to play with them. I started the fart game, which always gets them all excited and laughing like goons and running around making farting noises. Mama and her old Sis always seem to get a chuckle out of our antics. I started a new game once I spied a bucket of ice cubes sitting next to me. I call it the "Ice Down Yer Pants Dance" which was an instant hit with the kids. We ran around trying to stuff ice cubes down everyone's pants and shirts, a nice cool game I thought. My wife didn't like it when I got a few cubes down her undies though. Plus she said her Sis was getting pissed off because we were wasting all her ice cubes with our playing around. Now I know a bucket of ice costs 20 baht, so I told the wife to chill out, lighten up, and go send one of the kids to get a couple more bags for Sis after our game was finished. Sheesh, like I wouldn't pay for it or something. I stuffed more ice into her bra and she shrieked and started laughing. Later she managed to sneak up on me and stuff a couple cubes down the front of my shorts onto Godzilla. Felt good actually, so I did the Godzilla Iceball Dance for her. Mama and her old monkey face sister laughed their asses off so much I thought they would choke.

 

Relaxing later with yet another beer, yeah, I was feeling no pain, hey, it was a holiday weekend, I noticed a woman walking up to the chicken bone seller's cart that I had never seen in the village before. She had the most beautiful face I think I'd ever seen in Thailand. Perfect skin, not a line or blemish, oval face, a color so close to dark honey as to be translucent, she shimmered with vitality, but something seemed out of place somehow. Her hair was cropped very short, and looked like it had been chopped off with a knife, or a blunt pair of scissors, which was a damned shame, because the hair she hadn't cut was a gorgeous shiny black with full waves and curls. She was stunning. An aura of serenity surrounded her. She was dressed raggedy, in layers, which seemed odd due to it being so damned hot, but as she moved I could see she had a nice full firm body, lots of curves, and the open sweater showed a nice pair of knockers straining at the thin fabric of a cheap white t-shirt beneath. This woman was a knock-out. In a gogo bar she'd be a superstar. Men would slobber over her and pay the barfine as soon as they saw her. I'm not joking. I was stunned. But something seemed off somehow. Something niggled at my brain. I don't know how to describe it, but she seemed more animal than human. She radiated a jungle heat like a big cat, she moved like a wary animal, her black onyx eyes flashed and sparkled, yet something was missing.

 

I pointed her out to my wife, asking her who the pretty lady was, which instantly got her attention. "What pretty lady?" she said warily. I pointed to where the woman stood.

 

"Oh, she." my lady said glancing her way, and then seemingly dismissing her instantly as any sort of competition for my affections. "That is On. She is sister for lady of baby so and so. You know. Down the street by Ming's house. She lives with her Mama."

"She is very pretty," I said, "Don't you think?" My wife looked at me funny, then spent almost a minute looking at this woman before replying. "Yes, she very pretty. Pretty eyes. But pretty lady is not 100%." I looked at her, not understanding at first. My wife laughed at me and said, "Yes, pretty darling, but not 100% in brain." she laughed again, and walked away to do something or another.

 

I looked back to where pretty lady On stood waiting for her chicken bone bits. I wondered how many other pretty ladies not 100% "in brain" were working the bars of Pattaya and Bangkok. I looked away, and, grabbing some ice cubes, started another round of ice in the pants game playing with the kids.

 

The ice cream cart man pulled up next to the chicken bone guy's cart and I sprang for a round of ice creams for all the kids, and a few adults too.

 

It was hot.

 

Cent

(The Central Scrutinizer)

 

-----------------------

 

"Was this the face that launched a thousand ships,

And burnt the topless towers of Ilium?"

 

Christopher Marlowe, Faustus

 

[Ranger]

Cent,

 

Good story as usual. I have run across plenty of ladies in the bars over the years that were not "100% in the brain". But, you always wonder if their life in the bar scene is to blame for that?

 

Ranger

 

[Central Scrutinizer]

Ranger,

 

Hi Ranger. How's it going? Thanks. Glad you enjoyed the story.

 

Yeah, this is one of the reasons I wrote about this really. When I was running in the bars and gogos I had noticed the same thing myself. More so in Pattaya though than in Bangkok, although BKK had a few less than 100% in brain ladies working the bars I ran across also. And yeah, the bar life can be very damaging to a weaker minded more sensitive type of lady I would imagine. Although saying that I think many probably are damaged during their life early on in the meaner villages already, before ever stepping foot in the sex industry bar business. I don't usually write about the meaner darker aspects of village life, but it is there, and it takes its toll on the weakest children/women. Rape, abuse, physical and sexual, lack of education, lack of decent health care, lack of the support networks we in the west take for granted, lack of mental health care systems, malnutrition, and for lack of a better way to say it, a seeming lack of loving caring toward the weaker in society that I sometimes see and observe in some parents/families in the villages of Isaan. It can be a mean and brutal place to grow up. Children are damaged mentally and physically, more so the women it seems. The men can be real assholes at times and do take liberties and advantage of their position in society, a patriarchal society. The women band together I notice, and protect each others friends and family members as well as they can from these sort of men. There are quite a few not 100% men kicking about too, add the Lao Khao to the mix and it can be a dangerous situation for some, and no wonder some just seem to drift off in their minds to a safer place within, where they live forever basically out of touch with reality and the mean streets that have damaged them.

 

Thanks Ranger.

 

Cent

[chilli13]

I think I've only stumbled across one in pattaya & I didn't really notice untill her friend hinted 'her brain like baby'.

a verty sweet girl actually

[ranma500]

Dear Cent,

I always enjoy your stories.

I have never replied, because there always seems very little to add, and comments like 'Well Done' and 'Another Good Story' seem almost patronising.

 

I'm sure there are a lot of people like me who enjoy reading your tales but have never written to say so.

 

Anyway, keep it up!

 

ranma

[Central Scrutinizer]

Ranma,

 

Good to hear from you. It's nice to hear from the guys who enjoy the stories. It gives me some idea on how the stories are recieved by the members. Thanks for taking the time to post me. It's appreciated.

 

I actually hope to stir some debate and discussion with some of my stories, but the stories section doesn't seem to be where most come to discuss and debate. Most just seem to read the stories here and move over to the board bar or general section or relationships to do their discussions. I think most members treat the stories/trip reports section as a library. :-) It gets kinda quiet in here at times.

 

Thanks Ranma,

 

Cent

[Central Scrutinizer]

ib13,

 

That's funny. I've actually had my wife use that same phrase. "Have brain like baby." I wonder if this is how most Thais describe this when speaking in Thai, if this is a familiar phrase for their speaking of the weak minded. Same as the "not 100% in brain" comment my wife used.

 

Cent

[chilli13]

I assume that's how the thai refers to it as their 'translation' almost always is a 'direct' one thus leaving out all the 'in between' english words.

So 'have brain like baby' makes good sense to me, whereas 'not 100% brain' have a weird ring to it in my ears

 

Anyways I agree this 'library' section does get a bit too quiet most days, but I suppose we're all moreless responsible as the postings are few & far between myself included

 

About isan village life being rather cruel I'm sure you can find the full range just as in any other country

[gregchambers]

Cent, nice story - if you can afford it - and the wife lets you! - leave the airconditioner on when you go out. I know that country heat, real killer and coming back to a cool room - fantastic!

 

Oddly, I found the chicken in the country to be wonderful - I can't eat chicken in the UK now - something to do with the chickens being recently slaughtered and/or not fed on hormones and antibiotics, I think. 25 baht a pop for a 'flattened" chicken on a stick. You are right, the Thais eat down to the bone marrow and the house dog used sit all day waiting for me to have my chicken as he evidently never had so many "good bits" as I only ate the white meat. He used to go berserk if I tried to give any of it to the cat!

[Central Scrutinizer]

ib13,

 

My english speakers in the family use percentages quite a lot for clarifying their meanings. Maybe a Lao thing? Ha sip, ha sip being one. They use it to show degrees of certainty.

 

And you're right, cruelty exists world-wide, not just in a Isaan village. Actually a lot less in the villages rather than a large city area. Just that the villages are small a microcosm, and after a while you hear all the stories of most anything that is happening there. Not much escapes the gossips in the village. Especially once the rice is finished being harvested.

 

Cent