Guest Posted August 5, 2003 Report Share Posted August 5, 2003 >>>What exactly is the purpose of Sinsot?<<< i might be wrong here, but as far as i know traditionally land in most parts of thailand was inherited matrilineal. daughters inherited the land - sons moved into the wifes families. given that kah sing sot is suddenly understandable, especially how the amount is connected to the wealth of the wife's family - a man brought into a workable amount of cash, and showed at the same time his equal status. that though has changed in the recent decades - land now is usually equally shared between all sibling regardless of gender, only the youngest, who is responsible to support the parents until death, will still get either a larger share of the land, or in addition to the share of the land will inherit the house. modern times has seen tremendous changes, unfortunately though the sing sod issue has not disappeared but amounts even increased a lot even though there is no rational cultural explanation existent anymore. it became a burden for many thai people - lots of "paeng look tung" songs deal with that topic, like the boy who is in love with a girl, goes to the city to work a few years to safe up the kah sing sot, and comes back to the village only to ind his girl married off to someone wealthy already. interesting is somehow the correlation with india - another country which has a strong dowry tradition (only there it is the girl's parents who have to pay), and how perverted that became during the last two decades. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 5, 2003 Report Share Posted August 5, 2003 All-- I wrestled with this question for a while... After speaking with my TF a few times, we agreed on a more "practical" version.. We (more precisely ME) are going to do some renovation on the family home in Buri Ram.. Re-do the driveway, add central A/C, do some work in the kitchen (new fridge).. Cost? A few thousand US.. This was something that my TF was saving up do later on (when is later on? don't know) for her folks, so we both agreed that it was a good idea.. This way there is still face to be saved (mine and hers) and the $$ is not subject to being wasted... IMHO a good outcome for all.. --UPSer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 5, 2003 Report Share Posted August 5, 2003 one t hing i don't really understand is that "central AC" thing - who is gonna pay for the electricity bills afterwards? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted August 5, 2003 Report Share Posted August 5, 2003 Says UPSer: All-- We (more precisely ME) are going to do some renovation on the family home in Buri Ram.. Re-do the driveway, What will be parked in that driveway. . .your Porsche? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 5, 2003 Report Share Posted August 5, 2003 fly-- Her parents both have faily good paying jobs... One is a mananger of a manufacturing/production plant in town and the other works for the local Health Department also in town.. Just to be safe, both she and I talked about that...... Last thing I want to do is buy something that will jsut end up costing me more and more each day! --UPSer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 5, 2003 Report Share Posted August 5, 2003 jj-- Uh... No... We/I am re-doing the driveway beacuse right now it's a combination of crushed gravel and sand.. During the rainy season the driveway become a mud hole and makes parking there tough... As I recall that's going to be the cheapest part of the whole thing... Under US$100 for the whole job.. PS: Not a big fan of Porshce's.. I like the Mercedes-Benz AG line.. --UPSer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grabii Posted August 11, 2003 Report Share Posted August 11, 2003 Teach, The first thing is, you just haven't got what it takes to compete with the other guy so there's no sense worrying about that part of it. No matter what, you can't do what you can't do. The second thing is that the future in-laws and the village do need to be made aware that you, not the other guy, are the typical farang. Unfortunately, this task probably falls to your fiancee unless you and she have a joint Thai friend who the family can respect to do the explaining for you. However, the explanation must be made, and however the outcome will affect your relationship with your fiancee - well, that's what is going to happen. So you and she might as well get started educating the family on reality. I think your mention of 100,000 baht is a bit on the generous side, and if you're comfortable with that amount, then maybe start with a suggestion of 50,000 and let yourself be negotiated up to the 100,000. Hopefully that will produce a win-win situation for you. Best wishes and good luck. Regards, JEff Says HSTEACH: Thanks for the advise. A little bit more information. She comes from a small village about 50 KM from Kalisan. She would be only the second from her village to marry a farang and her mother is best friends with the mother of the first bride. Here is the problem, the first woman to marry a falang married an extremely rich Swiss guy who paid 500,00 Baht sinsot PLUS 10 Baht of gold. This guy must have been real dumb or else had money to throw away. I think this amount paid is the "thought of" farang price for sinsot. BTW.. NONE of that 500,000 was returned. Not one red dime. Now I don't have the riches of this Swiss guy and even if I did, sure as hell wouldn't pay what he did. So the question now is how does my fiances' family save face with me paying MUCH less, when this other idiot paid through the ass? I've discussed this money issue with my fiance and she understands the situation. I'd be willing to pay something for them to keep and maybe give a small amount monthly to her mother. I don't think her family is greedy, I've met them and I didn't see the greed factor, but this Swiss guy really has screwed up the works for those falangs following him. He has also built "mom" a new house and given the family a new truck, plus monthly payments. They (my fiances" family) thinks that what the Swiss guy paid is the standard that falangs pay. Don't know any better I assume. My opinion is that since my fiance is almost past her "pull date "being 35 years old and this being the first serious realationship she's had, the prospects of her NOT marrying if this falls through are pretty good. Mom needs to realize that this might be her last chance. Better to have her daughter happy and well taken care of with a 100,00 Baht in hand as sinsot than nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSTEACH Posted August 12, 2003 Author Report Share Posted August 12, 2003 Thanks Jeff, now to worry about the K-3 as it seems to be taking a shorter period of time as compared to a K-1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted August 12, 2003 Report Share Posted August 12, 2003 [color:"red"] They (my fiances" family) thinks that what the Swiss guy paid is the standard that falangs pay. Don't know any better I assume. [/color] Forgive me for I am going to be quite strong. These people are so presumptious and somehow ignorant that they think every "farang" grow money trees in the back yard. Hubby seems to draw that conclusion with every Thai we have met, and he is NOT a Swiss either Perhaps in the mother's side, she is also aware that this is the last chance to get a substantial Baht for her daughter, and not knowing better, thinks that all foriengners are like the Swiss. I have a good feeling that this can be explained in a way that no loss of face will incur and everyone is happy. You must understand about the Thais too that they can ask questions that may bother Westerners. How much does your daughter get for sinsot will be a common question. Believe it or not such question is still asked to my mom after all these years. Of course she says "none" and proud of it Good Luck. :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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