HSTEACH Posted August 2, 2003 Report Share Posted August 2, 2003 Oh God, here is another question about sinsot (dowry). I understand the principle and have no problem with it, the problem is how much? The situation is a young lady from Issan, 35 years old, never married, no children, non BG. I know the amount can be negotiated, but what is an acceptable offer on my part that will make the family happy, and keep me out of the poorhouse? With the accepted theory amongst some Thais that all farangs are rich, I'm sure there is a Thai and a farang price regarding sinsot. How much should I offer to mom? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stickman Posted August 2, 2003 Report Share Posted August 2, 2003 Hard to say a specific amount given on what you have said here... Don't be afraid to be very open with the parents when you discuss this with them - having a respected Thai person as you spokesperson would be a good idea. I pad what I considered a very large sum on the explicit understanding that it would be returned - and it was. I trust my mother in law 100%. Don't be afraid to ask the "hard questions". Stick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 2, 2003 Report Share Posted August 2, 2003 How can "Sinsot" be calculated? What are the cost drivers (age, number of children, wealth of girl's family, own wealth etc.)? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted August 2, 2003 Report Share Posted August 2, 2003 >With the accepted theory amongst some Thais that all farangs are rich, I'm sure there is a Thai and a farang price regarding sinsot. My marriage to a Thai girl has become imminent. When we marry, what money do we give to her mum? Nothing - "u have done a lot for me and for them." She said - any money we can give them to show to the people. All that is coming back to us, in matter of hours. We pay for the party. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khunsanuk Posted August 2, 2003 Report Share Posted August 2, 2003 Hi, As Stickman already said it is a bit difficult to say based on the info you have provided. Having said that, I'll have a go at it I'd say that ~50K would be a nice place to start from, maybe a bit more if she has a good education. I don't think it should be more than 100K Baht. Also, as mentioned, if you can find one, a respectable (preferably older) Thai person would be a great help for doing the negotiations. Sanuk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted August 2, 2003 Report Share Posted August 2, 2003 Hi, Congrats...... another one bites the dust..... Have you discussed this with your GF - wife to be ? What does she suggest you to do ? Then again, more important than the amount, how much will the family keep, or will all be returned ? I had this discussion with my GF already, the bigger sinsot with her, the better, the more face, all is 100 % returned in a matter of hours after the party...... Hope this helps a bit. Cheers ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSTEACH Posted August 2, 2003 Author Report Share Posted August 2, 2003 Thanks for the advise. A little bit more information. She comes from a small village about 50 KM from Kalisan. She would be only the second from her village to marry a farang and her mother is best friends with the mother of the first bride. Here is the problem, the first woman to marry a falang married an extremely rich Swiss guy who paid 500,00 Baht sinsot PLUS 10 Baht of gold. This guy must have been real dumb or else had money to throw away. I think this amount paid is the "thought of" farang price for sinsot. BTW.. NONE of that 500,000 was returned. Not one red dime. Now I don't have the riches of this Swiss guy and even if I did, sure as hell wouldn't pay what he did. So the question now is how does my fiances' family save face with me paying MUCH less, when this other idiot paid through the ass? I've discussed this money issue with my fiance and she understands the situation. I'd be willing to pay something for them to keep and maybe give a small amount monthly to her mother. I don't think her family is greedy, I've met them and I didn't see the greed factor, but this Swiss guy really has screwed up the works for those falangs following him. He has also built "mom" a new house and given the family a new truck, plus monthly payments. They (my fiances" family) thinks that what the Swiss guy paid is the standard that falangs pay. Don't know any better I assume. My opinion is that since my fiance is almost past her "pull date "being 35 years old and this being the first serious realationship she's had, the prospects of her NOT marrying if this falls through are pretty good. Mom needs to realize that this might be her last chance. Better to have her daughter happy and well taken care of with a 100,00 Baht in hand as sinsot than nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted August 2, 2003 Report Share Posted August 2, 2003 >I don't think her family is greedy, I've met them and I didn't see the greed factor, but this Swiss guy really has screwed up the works for those falangs following him. He has also built "mom" a new house and given the family a new truck, plus monthly payments. They (my fiances" family) thinks that what the Swiss guy paid is the standard that falangs pay. Where are you then? Matching up what "who knows who" built or what was given. You have got your woman, is it where ur chats (normally) end? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thai3 Posted August 2, 2003 Report Share Posted August 2, 2003 I asked a local waiter here (UK) how much the guy paid who married his sister. They are from khon kaen and she has a uni education, for what it's worth. I was amazed when he said the price was 700,000 baht, and he did not get any back. She is living in derby and thinking of leaving him!-peter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 2, 2003 Report Share Posted August 2, 2003 it depends a lot on the amount of land her family owns. if it is less than 20 rai, and given her age, sing sod should not be more than 20K. 100K i personally would see as excessive unless her family is one of the wealthy families in the village and the daughter has a good education. i do not buy in the farang factor of having to pay a higher dowry just because you are farang, and i would make it very clear that you are not a rich swiss guy. somehow a funny sidenote - what is it with the swiss and spending those huge sums here on dowry? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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