Singin in the Rain

[Guest]

With a crack the sky exploded in a flash of white I looked up thinking it might be one of those false storms only to be suddenly and automatically soaked as though someone had thrown a bucket of water over me. I stood there pondering whether I could get any wetter before deciding I could and that I should run for cover. I stood under the awning of a small tailor's and I watched people darting around dodging the drops and running from tree to tree.

 

A pretty young girl in a smart suit hid from the rain next to me and shook drops away from her arms. She was more than pretty. She was stunning. She saw me, that much wetter than herself, and smiled a big bright smile. I smiled back feeling that general sense of good will you do when a pretty girl smiles at you. We were there huddled under the same sanctuary. I imagined putting a comforting arm around her to protect her from the cold (because Thais actually think it gets cold in their sweltering country) and taking really good care of her. But the rain stopped as swiftly as it had begun and with another sweet smile she flew away like a small bird. I took this as a hint that it was time to start drinking.

 

People often underestimate the sheer joy of that first drink of the day. That drink that says "Hello Turk, good to have you back, please, don't be shy. Knock me back in one. Then you can order another and that one will taste even better than me." Ah. And with that second and then the third drink the whole world transforms ever so gently into a place where the past and future are insignificant. All that is real is that world that feels about as heavy as the contents of a dream. A world where everything seems more real and immediate precisely because you are no longer thinking about past experiences and consequences. Nothing really matters. It just comes and goes.

 

Some talk about the evils of alcohol and the demon drink. For some this may be true. I apologise to them for suggesting otherwise but for me alcohol has always been a harbinger of good fortune. For some reason when I've had a drink or two the women seem to come at me in droves. They sit next to me. Ask me how I am, what my name is, where I come from, where I stay and where I work. And, very often, by the fifth or sixth beer there nearly always seems to be some woman with her hands down my trousers asking me to pay the bar and go to a room with her. This happens only very rarely when I am sober.

 

"You pay bar ?" Said some woman I had barely noticed sitting in my lap.

 

"Why. Is it closing time ?"

 

"We can go..." And she did a little bit of sign language showing a righthand forefinger penetrating a letter "O" made with the thumb and forefinger of her left hand. I pondered at the idea that at no point did the penetrating forefinger eventouch the "O" made by the other fingers and, for some reason, this just put me off.

 

"You are a very beautiful woman," I lied, "But right now I'm busy drinking."

 

She made an oscene gesture that probably means something in Southern Europe but meant nothing to me and I waited for the next one.

 

She sat on the chair next to me sweating and fanning herself. She was wearing and orange swimsuit. Her eyes were wide and pretty and reminded me of a rabbit. "Hot." She said. Then she leaned her head towards me, offered a hand and said "My name Tit."

 

"Turk." I said.

 

"I see you before."

 

"Maybe."

 

"Yes. You same faen Nat." I couldn't remember any Nat. "Nat she marry now."

 

"Really ?" I had no idea what she was talking about.

 

"Yes she marry man Aus-tray-Lya."

 

"I should send her a card."

 

She laughed. I had no idea what she was laughing at. Small talk came. Small talk always came and, like all smalltalk between Thai bargirls and farang customers, it was always the same. All a preamble to the inevitable offer.

 

"You buy one drink for me."

 

"Sure."

 

She waved over the waitress.

 

"In your room you have condom ?"

 

"I think so. Actually in my pocket I have condom."

 

"I like man wear condom."

 

"Really."

 

"Yes. Better for you. Better for me."

 

"I'm wearing one right now."

 

"Really. I feel."

 

"No... Not really."

 

But she felt anyway. I could have stopped her but, well, give her a thrill I figured.

 

"Very small."

 

"Thank you."

 

"I like man have small. Not hurt."

 

"I can't tell you how good that makes me feel."

 

"Some man very big. I not like. But you. I think not even feel a thing."

 

"Sweet of you to say so. It does get a little bigger."

 

"Yes. But not too much. Last week have black man. He have like this." She mimed a yard. "I say Cannot. But him angry me. Want to hit me if I don't smoke him." Then she laughed. "So I tell him go ab naam then I run away when he shower. I know. I talk too much. Everyone say I talk too much."

 

When the waitress came with the lady drink I ordered another beer.

 

"Why you drink too much ?"

 

"It helps me to listen. If you're going to keep talking then the beer will help me listen."

 

Tit, if that was her real name, really did like to talk. She told me story after story of the men she had been with from the bar. The men who promised this and that and how now she knew that men would promise anything before they had screwed her but that this would mean nothing after. Now she liked to get the money up front. Now she wasn't so stupid.

 

"How many ?" I said, exploiting her frankness.

 

"How many what ?"

 

"How many farang ?"

 

She laughed. "Cannot say. Maybe sorng phan."

 

"Two thousand."

 

"No. I think more. Before I work massage. Same sometime have ten man in one day. Very good tip." She made a thumbs up sign. "Korea man very good. Him give me tip same muen baht. Just tip. Just for me."

 

"Why'd you leave ?"

 

"I have to go for doctor something. Boss he tell me go. So I come to bar."

 

"What was the matter."

 

"Something in my pussy. Boss him think I go with man not take condom but not same. Have something hurt from too many man. Fuck too much. No good for pussy."

 

After a couple of hours of chit chat and about ten minutes of canoodling I paid her bar fine and took her to a room.

 

She was good at what she did. She went at me with the professional ease of the best MP girl. She knew all the places to touch and how to touch them right. She had no inhibitions but it was very, very professional. I got this very clear sense that I would not be rocking her world.

 

She knew the exact point to put on the condom too. She could have probably taught a genito-urinery expert a thing or two about male emissions. After the professional build up she lay back for me to fuck her. It was a bit of a let down after all that had gone before but she did the sound effects well. Loud enough to seem real but not loud enough to alert the people in the next room. As fake as all this was I was pleasantly pissed so I just responded. I did come, with condom, but I felt this sudden urge to try and make her come too. So I went down on her. After about twenty minutes and a sensation not unlike lockjaw I noticed a bit of a tremor so I kept on at it and tried the old finger against the anus trick. Soon my finger was inside her ass as I had my tongue stroking inside her. She started to really shake and come. It was fantastic. It may have taken the better part of an hour and permanently damanged my lower jaw but I got her to come.

 

I would not have been quite so joyful if I'd known what was coming in the wake of her orgasm. Her entire bladder let loose and I had half a gobful of piss. My head was covered. My shoulders were covered. The bed in the short time room was covered.

 

She was terribly embarassed. She said "Sorry Sorry." And started mopping at me with a towel.

 

"It's okay." I said. "It's quite all right really. I'll just take a shower."

 

"Sorry."

 

I went and showered letting the shower water rinse out my mouth several times. Actually it wasn't such a big deal and I found myself laughing.

 

She came into the shower and washed off next to me gave me a hug in the shower and soaped my back.

 

"Sorry." She said again.

 

"It's okay." I said again.

 

"I cannot finis with man like this. If I finis. I go pee pee. Cannot stop."

 

"It's okay." I laughed.

 

She laughed too. "Is not funny."

 

"No. No it isn't." And we laughed some more.

 

When we went back into the room Tit stripped the bed of all it's linen and tried mopping at the damp patch on the mattress.

 

I liked Tit a lot. I saw her a few more times. I still see her but she works as a waitress now. Some boyfriend who sends her money didn't want her dancing and she actually stopped dancing. I don't know if she extends this as far as not going with a customer if the price is right though.

 

Apparantly she built her family and herself a house somewhere near but not in Korat.

 

She showed me a picture of it once. Expensive looking place. Interiors all looked like something from the Thai edition of Homes and Gardens. Bug huge beds in the bedrooms. I guess they all had rubber sheets.

[Guest]

TF - as always............ a brilliant read. Now we all realize that you have done this before.... but we sure appreciate your posting these here. Many of us are already truly addicted to our daily TurkFist read.

 

We can only hope that there are many more in your treasure bin.

[Ranger]

Turk,

 

Funny stuff, as usual. You better have lots more of these stories. I am now reading this section of the board first instead of last! I wish you had a wider audience, but it seems that many people don't even bother reading this section of the board any more.

 

Ranger

[smittyjp]

I've read 'em all (not that i'm important) and enjoyed them immensely. Thanks! Shared a few with my work colleagues and all agreed your stuff is great. I'm a fan of the short story.

 

Smitty

[spike]

turk, i had a smile on my face throughout the story and i laughed out loud more than once. keep up the great work. you are truly the hemingway of this board. cheers.

[dvarpala]

Says TurkFist:

---

If you're going to keep talking then the beer will help me listen.

---

 

How true can you get ?

I was chuckling away for ages after reading this one....

 

Please, keep it up.....

 

 

[sayjann]

i have to agree with others members.

a good read and i laughed more than once,thanks...

[june11]

Interesting how nobody has questioned your bizarre name.

Most names are just silly but yours is bizarre (and silly).

[Encore]

>I would not have been quite so joyful if I'd known what was coming in the wake of her orgasm. Her entire bladder let loose and I had half a gobful of piss. My head was covered. My shoulders were covered. The bed in the short time room was covered.

 

She was terribly embarassed. She said "Sorry Sorry." And started mopping at me with a towel. <

 

re-reading older posts.

 

yes Turk, i've recently had that experience, many times with one specific girl.

 

I don't mind the wet, I revel in the power of her coming. She loves it, she goes ballistic. What can be more exciting than a beautiful issaan woman coming and coming.

 

Some of the gals don'y have aparticularly edifying or enjoyable life, at the best of times. Any joy we can contribute to, effort well worthwhile.

[Central Scrutinizer]

TF,

 

Just got around to reading this one. (Busy lately) Laughed my ass off! Good read and funny stuff. More please!! :applause: :bow:

 

Cent