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A formal but fractured business letter in English


harlequinbkk

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Happy New Year Everyone,

 

In May of 2002, I made enquiries to BUPA Blue Cross about getting medical insurance while I was in Thailand. I sent an email, got a response, and set up an appointment when I arrived in Bangkok shortly thereafter. However, when I came to the office to meet the insurance agent at the appointed time, I was told to wait in the reception area, I waited 2 hours, nobody came to see me or tell me what was going on, so I left the office and decided to forget about BUPA entirely.

 

Now, 1.5 years later, I received an email, which I have posted below. I thought you might find it entertaining to read:

 

---------------------------

 

 

Dear Sir or Madamm,

 

This mail is to follow up for your interesting in the health insurance.We would like to recommend our company that the leader of health insurance in Thailand that you would be trust and believe in our service.We had found for your profile record that you had interested in the health insurance.

 

Cover is world-wide In Thailand, you can show a membership card access to over 200 hospitals and clinics listed. Oversea or unlisted, you can bring an original receipt, a doctor's report, and a copy of membership card for reimbursement. We' ll cover you anywhere in the world.

 

However you may look after yourself, illness or injury can still strike unexpectedly at anytime. Without private health cover you, or a member of your family, could be in for a long possible uncomfortable wait for treatment.

 

There's never been a better time to consider the benefits of private health care.

 

If you have any enquiry or need further information please do not hesitate to contact me.

 

We would like to know if you are still interested please reply this e-mail ,we will send you the update information for your consideration again.

 

Yours sincerely,

 

(name omitted)

Telemarketing Executively

 

BUPA Blue Cross

lat@bluecross.co.th

tel. (662) 2367533-42 # 647

fax.(662) 2332885

 

Blue Cross Insurance Limited

38 Q-House Convent Building,9th Floor,Convent

Road,Silom,Bangrak,Bangkok

10500

Tel.0-2234-7755, Fax. 0-2233-2885,0-234-5667

Website: http://www.bupathailand.com

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I don't know what you're complaining about!

 

There are actually two lines which are flawless! ("There's never been ..." up to "... contact me").

 

Me have hunch them two lines were steal from publicity material of foreigner company.

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However, when I came to the office to meet the insurance agent at the appointed time, I was told to wait in the reception area, I waited 2 hours, nobody came to see me or tell me what was going on, so I left the office and decided to forget about BUPA entirely.
The problem obviously involves more than language....

 

Now imagine that your office has reporting obligations back in New York and London, and your Thai subordinates - resentful that you always insist on reviewing emails and memoranda before they go out - start sending out emails and memoranda on their own without review. And those missives are received by guys that, maybe, have dealt with people from Hong Kong or Singapore, but know nothing about Thailand. Often it is not just fractured grammer, but also fractured thinking. TIT.

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[color:"red"] Well, at least they used a spell checker. Imagine what it would have read without that. [/color]

 

Hua Nguu,

 

Good point. It got me to thinking what is so odd about this letter. It is the mismatch between the relatively advanced vocabulary (spelled correctly, as you mention), and the atrocious grammar.

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