Steve Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 I've heard some of these stories aren't really true but I'll leave it up to you guys to decide. I got in an e mail so I thought I'd pass it along to you guys. 1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T FIRED President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence. 2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up." 3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts. 4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him. 5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said! 6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING?? A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!", the man shouted, "This is her husband!" 7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!! In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellllllooooooo!) 8. THE GRAND FINALE Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22ft going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check undern eath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER ..THIS IS TRUE... Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer. Does any one else find it frightening that the majority of these took place in California?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiLeakHunt Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 CS, it's been a while since I've heard from you. Thought you'd gone to the great GoGo in the sky. That reminds me of a true story about a guys in Longsight (a district currently viying for top spot with Moss Side as Manchester's most iniquitous area). Who saw himself on "Crimewatch" robbing a petrol station at gunpoint and rung the BBC to see if they'd let him have copies of the tape so he could show his mum. Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 Who saw himself on "Crimewatch" robbing a petrol station at gunpoint and rung the BBC to see if they'd let him have copies of the tape so he could show his mum. ' Yer kidding us arent you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 I like the one about the bank robber in the states that ran out of the bank and jumped in a Black and White thinking it was taxi. "Hurry up." he says to the cop in the front seat, "I just robbed a bank". the powers of observation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carew66 Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 They come around my apartment all the time, trying to sell me the collected work of Brigham Young and stuff. I never liked the Osmonds either and Salt Lake City looks a bit boring. Is it so good to have more than one wife anyway? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 6, 2004 Report Share Posted March 6, 2004 someone here ( s. calif) once tryed to hold up the local motel with an electric chain saw ( not even plugged it) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BadaBing Posted March 6, 2004 Report Share Posted March 6, 2004 carew66 said:I never liked the Osmonds either and Salt Lake City looks a bit boring. Hmmm , Marie wasn't that bad Carew , but i'm talk'n before she had 18 kids... BadawithdirtythoughtsaboutmarieBing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Posted March 6, 2004 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2004 SiLeakHunt, that is too funny. I'm still around. There is a movie called 'Menace II Society' where a gangbanger took the tape of the surveilance camera of the liquor store he shot up and he and his friends watch it for laughs. Art imitates life perhaps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lazyphil Posted March 6, 2004 Report Share Posted March 6, 2004 Me and a mate spent an afternoon burning rubber in our buggies (or was is a Chevy : on the Salt Flats and after needed a bed and commode for the night stopping by the Mormon tabernacle before hand and getting chatted up by these super hot babes trying to convert us--six months later they sent the foot soldiers around to my carehome (not pretty girls though ) with their version of the good book...grhhhhgggrerrrgrrr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 9, 2004 Report Share Posted March 9, 2004 WHAT A TOOL SYDNEY, Australia -- An Australian handyman admitted he was stupid to shoot himself in the head with a nail gun in a misguided prank which left him with a nail lodged in his brain. Brad Shorten was enjoying a few beers with friends after working on his house when they began joking about industrial accidents. Shorten, 33, picked up a nailgun which he thought was empty, pointed it at his head and pulled the trigger. The mishap left him with a 3.2 cm nail counter-sunk through his skull just behind his temple. Royal Melbourne Hospital neurosurgeons removed the nail in a four-hour operation even though Shorten, who was expected to make a full recovery, had offered to take it out with a pair of pliers. http://www.canoe.ca/NewsStand/WinnipegSun/News/2004/03/08/374422.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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