10 things you do when returning home

[MooNoi]

I only do five things when I get home:

 

1. Work out the time difference and picture what's going on in Soi 4 at that very moment.

 

2. Work out the time difference and picture what's going on in Soi Cowboy at that very moment.

 

3. Work out the time difference and picture what's going on in Pattaya at that very moment.

 

4. Work out the time difference and start counting down the days until the return.

 

5. Go back to step 1...

[Guest]

1. Try and smile thru a 'date' with local lass and listen to her psycho problems and wish to the great creator that I didn't speak the local language.

 

2. Shudder to pay the equal of 2,400 baht for dinner and drinks (with no boom-boom, till the second date).

 

3. Count the days until the next trip.

 

4. Say over and over "what can I do?"

[Guest]

Order a Big Juicy Cheeseburger and a Heineken. When they look at you funny after you ask for a condom you say, "Never mind, just bring me a glass of ice."

[JJsushi]

 

Ideally you:

 

-promise yourself that you won't gain weight by eating fast food

 

-promise yourself you will work out at the gym more to look studly on your next trip

 

-promise yourself that you won't accept for any nonsense from your farang girlfriends

 

-promise yourself that you will maintain an inner calm and happpiness;not allowing stresses from Western society to get to you

 

 

The reality is:

 

-you eat alot of crap food and gain more weight than before your trip

 

-your too damn exhausted to got to a gym but you do work out the television remote and a case of beer everynight

 

-put up with alot of shit from your farang gf/wife to the point that you think daily about how happy you could be in a permanent relationship with your favorite Bangkok hooker.

 

-you become depressed and only one bad situation away from a complete nervous breakdown.

 

-you escape to the internet where you find more comfort and companionship from a board full of social misfits, mavericks, eccentrics and borderline perverts, than you do in your physical reality with lifelong friends and family.

 

 

-you ask yourself when you are alone in your home in the middle of the night; are you really that bitter,fat, balding loser of an old man who can't get laid in his own country and has to spend US$ 3k and travel halfway around the world to get a piece of ass from an uneducated impoverished farm girl. You know the answer but you don't give a fuck and drift off to sleep with visions of LBFM's dancing in your head.

[Guest]

You start to work out actually how much you spent per day ( average in air fare, everything) and figure it was a bargin. ( unless you are still "paying")

[Guest]

Hi JJ,

 

>>>>>>-you ask yourself when you are alone in your home in the middle of the night; are you really that bitter,fat, balding loser of an old man who can't get laid in his own country and has to spend US$ 3k and travel halfway around the world to get a piece of ass from an uneducated impoverished farm girl. You know the answer but you don't give a fuck and drift off to sleep with visions of LBFM's dancing in your head.<<<<<

 

I had to laugh at that, even though I'm not a "bitter,fat, balding loser of an old man who can't get laid in his own country". Very good though!

 

HT

[Guest]

I return home to Bangkok so when I go somewhere else it is more for relaxation. I guess it is whatever you make of it. I know one older, fat falang in falang land who, for what ever reason, can not get enough of the free falang chicks. Why? Maybe charisma?