Zaad Posted May 8, 2004 Report Share Posted May 8, 2004 I was reading a magazine the other day World Vision Foundation of Thailand and saw and interesting piece of text / dream called: footprints One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with GOD. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonged to him, and the other to GOD When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life. This really bothered him and he questioned GOD about it: "GOD, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me". GOD replied: "My precious, precious child, I love you and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 8, 2004 Report Share Posted May 8, 2004 Even I cant be sarcastic or puerile to that one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiery Jack Posted May 8, 2004 Report Share Posted May 8, 2004 I was reading a magazine the other day Asian Ebony Babes II and saw an interesting picture of a black reader's wife's arse called: skidmarks One night a man had 15 beers . He knew he was drinking heavily at the bar at Soi 7 beergarden with GOD. Across the Bangkok sky flashed bargirls from his irresponsible unchoosy sanuking life. For each pig-ugly bargirl, he noticed two sets of regretful "morning-after" skidmarks in his boxer shorts; one belonged to him, and the other to GOD. When the last morose skidmark on his smalls flashed before him, he looked back at the apologetic encrusted alcoholic shite in the back-flap of his briefs. He noticed that many times in the underpants of his life there was only one set of skidmarks per morning-after. He also noticed that it happened after the very lowest and saddest barfines in his life. This really bothered him and he questioned GOD about it: "GOD, you said that once I decided to drink with you, you'd control my bowels all the way, however pot-ugly the bargirl of my choice. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome and ill-advised barfines in my life, there is only one set of shite-stains on the cloth of my undergarments. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave my sorry arsehole still slack with remorse". GOD replied: "My precious, precious child, I love you and would never leave your arse slack, even after 15 beers, the hottest of vindaloos and the most wretched of barfines from Grace Hotel carpark at 3AM. During your troubled hungover mornings of empty-walleted repentant diarhhea and "oh my god what have I done" "follow-through" farting, when you see only one set of skidmarks on your boxers, it was then that I had followed through for you". :: jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterBlonde Posted May 8, 2004 Report Share Posted May 8, 2004 Thats actually a very old story, i remember my grandmother had a plaque with that same text,hanging on her wall...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiery Jack Posted May 8, 2004 Report Share Posted May 8, 2004 Yeah, they're old tales. In fact, my grandfather (mother's side), who was an unstable and unemployable wife-beating alcoholic fencer of stolen goods had my version indelibly tattooed on his wife's left arse cheek. jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sayjann Posted May 9, 2004 Report Share Posted May 9, 2004 it may be an old story but still something nice to read. makes a change from some of the stories we read on Boards. something light and fluffy will not hurt us. and NO,i am not talking about FJ's version.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pe7e Posted May 9, 2004 Report Share Posted May 9, 2004 "something light and fluffy will not hurt us." This sort of semtimental crap makes me want to vomit! I prefere FJs version. (no personal insult intended) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nervous_Dog Posted May 9, 2004 Report Share Posted May 9, 2004 Dam - was going to write my own vergin but farty jack beet me to it. Hey - maybe we c\should all be born again! JB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterBlonde Posted May 9, 2004 Report Share Posted May 9, 2004 agreed.......wish we had a vomiting graemlin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yehtmae Posted May 10, 2004 Report Share Posted May 10, 2004 MisterBlonde said:agreed.......wish we had a vomiting graemlin I barfined one of those the other night, or it may have been a vomiting goblin. I always get those mixed up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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