Brink15 Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 My good friend, Somchai, today had a meeting with a loan officer at the Klong Toey Savings & Loan and a bar girl depositing her wad of monthly sponsor donations said she thought I was a hansum man and had an excellent sixth sense about fashion. How did this come about? Last Friday, before Lent, I asked Somchai, in detail about a loan he was going to take out from the bank. What he told me did not seem right. He said he wanted to take out a loan to open a beer bar, but for some reason can not open it without a partner. He had called the bank about 1 dozen times but got the same answer from the person who would process his loan - wait a few more days. I told him go to the bank with the current bar owner, a former bar girl named Noi. On Saturday, they both went to the bank. The teller looked up the name of the person who was to process the loan and Somchai and Noi went to her address. She was not there so they took her husband to the Ting Tong karaoke bar for a beer. After a few hours, the husband was able to get his wife to come to the bar. At first she denied having any interest in Somchai?s bar, but after about 2-3 hours she confessed to secret desires of leaving the bank to become a mamasan. She did a job on a karaoke girl to show she was up for the task. :hubba: The loan officer promised to back off from trying to buy the bar if she could come work as the mamasan. Somchai said No, she must work her way through the ranks just like any other comer and proceeded to drop his slacks in anticipation of her BBBJ skills. She said because her oral herpes sores were open , she could not do anything till they closed on Wednesday. I told my friend I smell another lie. I told him if her sores were open on Tuesday there is no way they?d be healed by Wednesday. My friend told this to the loan officer?s husband who confirmed - yes her sores would be open on Tuesday. On Tuesday, instead of receiving oral from the loan officer, it turns out the bank was able to have another loan officer process the loan. Tomorrow my friend pays the B100k to purchase the bar. Apparently he is not going to have to hire a mamasan as the loan officer was fired and her husband is pimping her to my friend for free beer and pussy ? other than that of his herpes infected wife. The bar girl at the bank asked my friend what possessed him to buy a beer bar. He told her I told him to do it as I was looking for a bar girl to pamper with 5 baht gold chains and expensive clothes. The bar girl then turned to me and said I was very hansum man and had a great sense of fashion. Now, I?m pretty proud of the multi-color fisherman?s pants and tin-tin shirt I picked up on Khao San road so she must have been telling the truth. Anyway, I?m taking her to Lucky Chang?s gold shop tomorrow to get her a little something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZMAN Z28 Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 That's a pretty funny story. Yes the KSR fashion statement must have did the trick. I guess I will have to make my next shopping trip there. Thanks for the tip. Z Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singhaman Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 Lovely writing! It sounds so familiar, doesnt it? I buy you a beer for that. Cheers, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 Keep up the good work..... BB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brink15 Posted August 10, 2004 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 UPDATE THE FORMER LOAN OFFICER AND NEW MAMASAN DID NOT SHOW UP FOR WORK YESTERDAY AT THE BAR. MY FRIEND SOMCHAI ORDERED THE MAMASAN TO PAY BAR THIS MORNING PLUS 23,000 BAHT EXTRA. SOMCHAI INVESTIGATED THE MAMASAN?S STORY AND APPARENTLY THE FORMER LOAN MANAGER OFFICER (WHO IS THE MAMASAN IN THIS CASE) REMOVED FROM THE BAR MY FRIEND'S DEED/TITLE TO THE BAR ::, OR WHATEVER IT IS CALLED, FROM THE BANK WHICH WAS BEING USED AS COLLATERAL. THE POLICE BELIEVE THIS MAY BE A CRIME. SHARP BUGGERS THAT THEY ARE. THE POLICE MAN IN CHARGE IS NOW IN A BACK ALLEY WITH THE MAMASAN INSISTING THAT SHE TURN OVER THE DEED TODAY. THE MAMASAN WAS ABLE TO BUY SOME TIME BY GIVING SAID OFFICER A BBBJ. :: THAT IS WHY SHE DID NOT GO TO THE POLICE STATION OR AT LEAST HAVE TO PAY A HUGE AMOUNT OF TEA MONEY FOR HER GURANTEE TO RETURN THE DEED. UNFORTUNATELY NOBODY INFORMED THE OFFICER OF THE OPEN HERPES SORES, SO THERE MAY BE A FOLLOW UP. IT TURNS OUT THE MAMASAN HAS STOLEN BEFORE AND HER HUSBAND JUST PAID THE LOSSES. BECAUSE OF THE POSITION IN THE MOTORCYCLE TAXI MAFIA OF THE MAMASAN?S HUSBAND, THE MAMASAN'S WRONG DOING HAS BEEN OVER LOOKED IN THE PAST BUT THIS TIME IT APPEARS SHE IS IN SERIOUS PROBLEMS. ESPECIALLY AFTER SAID MIB DEVELOPES SORES ON HIS WILLY. AS FOR THE BAR, TUESDAY, ONE OF THE MAMASANS FROM ANOTHER BAR WAS FIRED FOR STEALING 45 BAHT FROM THAT BAR?S OWNER. IF I WAS PEOPLE WITH MONEY IN BARS IN THAILAND, I WOULD CAREFULLY WATCH AND AUDIT THE TILL ALL THE TIME TO MAKE SURE SOMEBODY ELSE IS NOT HELPING THEMSELVES. AS FOR MY FRIEND, THE MAMASAN AND HER HUSBAND SAY SHE WILL GET THE DEED BACK AND A LOT EXTRA ? WHAT KIND OF EXTRA IS THE QUESTION THAT CONCERNS SOMCHAI. RIGHT NOW HE IS IN STD FREE AND TRYING TO STAY THAT WAY. (Sorry for typing the above all in caps. Nobody ever taught me that this is the equivalent to cyber shouting.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 :grinyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibblies Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 Tee hee. :: The original title did sound rather self-congratulatory, didn't it? I wonder whether a non-administrator would have been allowed to get away with such a blatant piss-take though? (Not that I disapprove of piss-takes, by any means! More of them, I say! Stiffen up our lads and all that... : Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brink15 Posted August 11, 2004 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 NEW UPDATE: THE MAMASAN WHO WAS FIRED WAS A SENIOR EMPLOYEE AT STAR OF LIGHT . I SAID SHE STOLE 45 BAHT, BUT AFTER RE-READING THE ARTICLE (YES- IT WAS IN THE NEWSPAPERS ) THE AMOUNT WAS 49 BAHT. MY FRIEND, SOMCHAI, WAS RIPPED OFF BY A BANK EMPLOYEE WHO WANTED TO BE A MAMSAN ? SO THERE MUST BE SOME KIND OF CONSPIRACY GOING ON ALSO. :: AFTER MY FRIEND FOUND OUT THE MAMASAN STOLE HIS DEED (WHATEVER ) WHICH WAS SUPPOSE TO BE ON FILE AT THE BANK, ALL PARTIES RETURNED TO THE BACK ALLEY. THE MAMASAN CLAIMED REPEATEDLY SHE DID NOT STEAL THIS DOCUMENT. WHILE THE POLICE MAN WAS FEEDING HER HIS SAI GROP :hubba: (OBVIOUSLY THE SYMPTOMS OF HIS NEW AQUISITION HAVEN'T YET APPEARED), SHE FINALLY CONFESSED TO THE THIEFT (THIS IS A SPECIAL ILLITERATE SPELLING OF ?THEFT?, BTW). HER HUSBAND WENT AND RETRIEVED THE DOCUMENT AND TURNED IT OVER TO THE POLICE LAST NIGHT. AS FOR THE MAMASAN, SHE WAS TAKEN TO THE POLICE STATION WHERE SHE WAS USED LIKE A 5 BAHT WHORE. TODAY, MY FRIEND, SOMCHAI, IS GOING TO THE POLICE STATION TO RETRIEVE THE TITLE TO THE BAR AND THEN TO THE EDEN CLUB WHERE SHE IS NOW PERFORMING ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE YELLOW LINE WITHOUT PAY. AS FOR ME, I CAN NOT BELIEVE HOW FAST EVERYTHING IS UNFOLDING. IN THE US (THAT?S UNITED STATES, SINCE I?M USING CAPS FOR NO OBVIOUS REASON), TO GET TO THE POINT WE ARE NOW WOULD GENERALLY TAKE 6 TO 12 MONTHS, MAFIA CONNECTIONS, AND A GOOD IMMAGINATION. (Ooops, sorry I?m still clueless about the proper use of upper case on the internet. ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 No, no. by all means. The Nigerians have found the use of all caps extremely lucrative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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