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Tbear's Second Newbie Trip: Chapter 1


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Around the world in a day


Oh how the world has changed since my last trip. Airplanes went from being vehicles, to weapons of mass destruction. I remember watching television and seeing two planes strike the World Trade Centers, and then a third landing nose-first into the side of the Pentagon. This last strike occurring less then 10 miles from where I worked. I seriously thought that world war 3 had begun, and my fears were not calmed by the fact that I was currently standing in one of the tallest buildings in the area. No more destruction occurred, and soon it was time to get back life. It was slightly ironic that on my previous trip, I was carrying two swords, and several switchblades in my carry-on, and I didn’t even receive a raised eyebrow. These planes were brought down by a set of box cutters.

My flight to LOS was affected. The flight on my original departure date was cancelled and I was bumped to the flight the next day. The airport from which I was departing was closed for a few weeks, and the flight schedule was severely reduced. I gave great thought to just canceling the whole trip; I mean to risk life and limb for a few rounds of brown skinned nookie seemed a little extreme. Additionally, this trip was only for 8 days, and it seemed harder to justify. I decided to continue with my plans, and just cancelled the Bangkok portion of my trip.

I learned much from my first trip, and applied my knowledge to my packing list. Gone were the 35mm camera with the telescopic lenses and the digital camera; I replaced them with a pocket camera. I chucked the laptop, which I hardly even turned on during my last trip. I knew that anything heavier then a T-shirt would feel like a terry cloth towel in the Thailand weather. I left the palm pilot, and just brought a notebook and some pens in case I got the bug to jot down notes. I printed out some maps to Pattaya, and marked the places that I wanted to go.

I also made a list of to-do items:

- Go to a BJ bar

- Don’t f$%^ anything that used to be a man

- f%^$ a hot girl

- Buy some tailored clothing

I was to leave in the afternoon on Thanksgiving day. Smells from other apartments on my floor permeated my room, and for a short time, I cursed myself for craving Thai women instead of turkey. I went to the airport, made my first leg to Newark to meet my EVA flight from Newark, to Seattle, to Taipei, to BKK. The Newark flight was delayed by 5 hours, and I sat and waited as another day was erased from my trip. Eventually the flight arrived, and It was pretty uneventful. I missed the connecting flight to BKK, but EVA had booked us on a China Air flight to BKK, and we were on our way. Let me add that EVA economy deluxe is a godsend to those of us cursed with being over 6 feet tall.

My first day


I arrived in BKK and was through customs and immigration within a half hour. I exchanged money, and was in a taxi heading toward Pattaya in a short period. Within the first mile of the trip, I asked the cab driver if it was OK to smoke, and he indicated that the back seat window was stuck, but I could sit up front. He stop the cab in the fast lane of the highway and signaled that I should get out of the cab, and get into the front seat. Visions of the nameless cab driver driving away with my luggage, passport, and dreams of having a good trip stopped me from taking him up on the offer.

The trip to Pattaya was the scariest part of my last trip, and it was no different this time. Although I’m no statistician, I did read that something like 14,000 people perish each year on Thailand roads, and my cab driver seemed determined to add to the tally. Even through my jet lag, I peered wide-eyed through the front window and watched my driver weave through traffic, dodging motorbikes and oversized trucks without a care in the world. I looked around the car and saw that it was definitely produced before the age of side-curtain airbags, and driver safety. The car may have been older then me. I felt for a rear seat –belt, and found only lint.

Halfway through the trip, the driver stopped to go potty, and to fill the radiator with water. I went inside the convenience store, and bought a quart of Singha beer. I thought that it was the only way that I was going to make it through the trip with my sanity. I got in the front seat, fastened the seat belt and took out a smoke. With the beer and nicotine now introduced into my bloodstream, I was able to relax.

This sense of calm was soon interrupted. My cab driver reached into a small pouch, and pulled out a vial of brown powder, and a small ‘U’ shaped piece of metal. He poured a bit of the contents of the vial into his hand, scooped it into the U shaped metal. Before I could rack my brains for the Thai translation of ‘Please sir, don’t snort that strange powder’, he place the U shaped contraction into his nose and mouth, and blew the contents into his nose. I took a double chug of Singha, and realized that the chances of me making it to Pattaya alive had just been cut in half. What a sight we must have been, me chugging my Singha, and he whacked out on smack. As the sun set on the landscape, I thought of the movie Thelma and Louise, and I thought if this was the time to meet my maker, I had at least made it to the right country.

My driver supprisingly made it to Pattaya, and with my new found thai vocabulary, I was able to direct him to the Penthouse Hotel. I bid him farewell, knowing that the chances of him making it back to Bangkok were slim. I went into the hotel and was shown two rooms. The original room that I had booked wasn’t that bad, not nearly as gaudy as the website portrays. The second room, offered at a discount, had a stage and a dancing pole. Maybe I lacked imagination, but I just couldn’t envision a need to have a go-go bar in my room.

After showering and getting settled, I was faced with a dilemma. Who was to receive the virgin load? After 22 hours on a plane, three countries, and 5 months since my last trip to heaven, what unsuspecting thai girl would be on the receiving end of my good lovin’? I thought of the to-do list and thought the BJ bar would do the trick. What better way to start 7 days of debauchery then a good, old-fashioned BJ? I headed towards Soi Post Office, where I knew 2 BJ bars were located.


BJ and the Bar


Upon entering the first bar, I was immediately molested by one of the girls. She was heinous. Fat, not particulary attractive, basically the perfect specimen for a BJ. I knew that this girl had not been retained because of her charm and good looks, so I expected that she was an expert in her trade. She explained that this was indeed a BJ bar (“Me sucky sucky good” wink.gif" border="0, and she led me upstairs. I averted my eyes as she opened a second door, expecting to see 6 guys getting blown in every corner of the bar. I was spared this sight, and basically it just seemed like a second bar within the bar. Medusa led me to the bar and explained the rules; If I wanted a BJ at the bar, it was 375, a room would be 500.

Not to be spared one ounce of sleeze, I chose the bar option. I sat down at the bar as Medusa got her supplies. She turned on a TV with some American porn (Being somewhat of a porn aficionado, I can report it was a girl on girl scene with Asia Carrera and Jenna Jameson). I thought she would just unzip and go to work, but she loosened my belt and before I knew it, my pants and boxers were around my ankles. She sat me, bare-assed, back on the stool, and proceeded to clean me up with some handi-wipes.

At this moment, in a BJ bar in Pattaya, with my pants around my ankles, I did some serious soul searching. How exactly did this happen? Did my mother not pay enough attention to me? Will I ever have a serious relationship, much less enjoy the thrill of being part of a family? I shook these thoughts from my mind and reach down to cop a feel. Medusa happily complied and lifted up her shirt and bra. At that moment, another girl walked into the room, and without even giving me a glance, decided to do the book-keeping for the bar.

I am not sure exactly what did the trick; Medusa using my penis as a straw to suck my bladder out, the cute girl only 10 yards away yawning her way through her accounting chores, Asia being rimmed by another girl on the television, or the handful of fat Thai tit in my hand, but I soon lost it. This may have been the most explosive orgasms of my life, and Medusa did not let a drop spill. After the spasms completed, she gave one last lick, and spat my seed into a nearby bucket. I pulled up my drawers, but knew I needed a few more minutes before I would be able to walk again. Medusa tried to entice me into a second round, but I knew that, as soon as I could muster the energy, I needed to get the hell out of there. I gave her a 300 B tip, and departed.

A BJ bar is something that you can never prepare for. The entire encounter probably took around 30 minutes. For the remainder of my trip, I knew that if I had a spare 30 minutes, all I would have to do is walk a few blocks, and within minutes, I would be on the receiving end of a BJ. If they had such a beast in the US, I would be there EVERY day. I would never eat lunch again. “Honey, I just have to run some errands after work” would have a whole new meaning. I recommend it to everyone.

Reunited at last

I was starting to feel the fatigue from my journey, and my plan was to go the Flipper bar and meet up with some of the people from Nanaplaza. The scheduled time was 8pm, and it was now 7:30. I walked down to walking street, but decided to stop into a beer bar where I had met the girl from my previous trip. I thought that I might be able to say hello to mamasan, and maybe see a few of the girls from my last trip. Once again I miscalculated.

Within a block of the bar, I heard the yells and screams. Girls were running over to greet me and take me back to the bar. Once at the bar I realized that NOTHING HAD CHANGED! Every single girl that I had seen on my previous trip was there, plus a few new ones. I exchange pleasantries, and wowed them with my thai language skills. I casually asked about the girl, expecting that she had quit working or moved to Germany with her husband, but before I knew it, someone had shoved a cell phone to my head and I was TALKING to her. She told me that she would be there in a few minutes.

Now I had a serious dilemma on my hands. She was obviously doing a short time with some other guy. I thought I could feign disgust, walk away, and meet up with the Nanaplaza guys for drinks. I could wait there and see her. I decided to wait, I could say hello and then be on my way. In 30 minutes she arrived and jumped into my arms. She smothered me with kisses and said how much she missed me. She told me that she remembered every minute of our time together, and how each time she heard ‘Hotel California’ she thought of me. She showed me the gold bracelet that I had bought her, and said that she could never sell it. She started to cry. I was completely unprepared for this.

I was speechless. I didn’t expect to EVER see her again, but here she was in my arms. I couldn’t just walk away, but I knew that each minute that I stayed, the chances of me having a sex filled vacation would be diminished. When she showed me the bracelet, It really touched me, I fully expected that she had sold it the minute I left. Either this girl was a complete pro, or really something different. I didn’t know what to think, so I did the only thing I could, I left.

I told her that I had to meet up with some friends, and would be back. I knew I had to get some time away and really sort this out. I walked to the Flipper bar, but didn’t see anyone that looked like they were from the boards. At this point, it was after 9pm, and I thought they may have left. One of the girls at the bar latched on to me, but I couldn’t get the first girl out of my head. I left that bar, and went to another beer bar. I flirted and played a game, but once again, the other girl was still in my head.

Could she have sold the bracelet and bought it back? Why would she do that? We hadn’t traded emails in 3 months, was she really just waiting for me? Were the tears real? Should I ditch her because she had been going with other guys? The whole thing was dizzying. In the end, I went back to the bar and barfined her. I had to find out the answers. After cruising the Thailand boards for years, I didn’t understand this. We spent the night together, and It felt like I was with a long lost love.

Sorry for the long winded report. I’ll try to hurry it up a little bit for the next chapter.

QUESTION OF THE DAY: What the hell was my cab driver doing?

OBSERVATION OF THE DAY: I think the most uttered words in Pattaya is “huh? And Mai Kao Jai”

NEXT EPISODE: Let the good times roll!

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First, great post! Looking forward to No.2.

Second, my take ....

I think that if you want to spread it around you should spread it around. Yes she seems genuinely pleased to see you, but remember a few things:

1. it seems that you were nice to her last time, buying her a gold bracelet an' all - well done you;

2. imagine her life, having to make out with a new man every time she gets the chance and, lets face it, we are not all Leonardo di Caprio - better the devil (or angel) you know than the devil you don't;

3. Thai girls are very spontaneous and expressive and lovely, so that while our hearts melt at these "I'm so happy to see you" sentiments, we may be getting the equivalent of what would be back home "hey, how are you doing, good to see you".

I know, I sound like a twisted old man with not a touch of romance left in his heart. But then you have to ask why?

Whichever you choose, have a great holiday - and don't forget to tell us about it!

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Hi Tbear,

Outstanding report, was the BJ bar the pump house?

Like you trousers round ankles looking in to the yellowish eyes of my pump, a wave of self doubt and emptyness washed over me, what was I doing, what would be late grandmother think?

Fortunately back in the sunshine afterwards such thoughts evaporated, however I dont think I'll ever go back to that big room, something very depressing about it.

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