Walking in a Winter Wonderland--part 1

[Central Scrutinizer]

Walking in a Winter Wonderland-part 1-from a very slow Internet cafe in Surin

     It is winter now in my beloved Surin. My lady

told me so on the phone before I arrived back here

from the states. Her way of expressing this info to me

from so far away was a statement which usually elicits a scoffing response from me. "Waen nooooooowwwwwwwww!"

She's cold she says. My less than supportive and

sympathetic response stems from the fact that I am

from Boston, Massachusetts. A land of ice and snow for

almost half the year. With temperatures at times that

would freeze the balls off a water buffalo in a matter

of minutes. Hence my scepticism on this info passed on to me that she's freezing her ass off in the artic climes of Surin, Thailand. Especially when she says this sometimes while I'm sitting on my phone talking

with her, and looking out my kitchen window at a

raging blizzard which is howling outside, shaking the

house, and depositing a foot of that marvelous white

shit we call snow....in my driveway....which will need

to be shoveled sooner or later.

     I suppose though that temperatures are relative

to what one is accustomed to. I guess. She's used to

that 90 degrees and above heat most of the time. 75

degrees and less might seem a bit chilly to her. I

fail to work up much sympathy when told how cold she

is though, when a walk to the store for a pack of

smokes for me, one city block away, brings one to mind

of dog sleds, meals of blubber and ice flow seals, and the strains of old Frank Zappa's, "Watch out where the

huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow!" I sometimes feel I'm walking my "favorite baby seal"

rather than my crazy dog. This can actually be a life

threatening stroll to the store for your nicotine fix

for those less fit than a hardy New Englander raised

in the quick and ever changing harsh climate in a land that some foolish Pilgrims thought would be a great place to land their boats, and build their homes and churches. Why the hell one of the more intelligent

Brits on board the Mayflower didn't give the Captain a

dope slap and tell him to hang a left and head south

to Florida I'll never understand! Hell, most New

Englanders end up down there eventually anyway toward

the end of their lives.

     But I digress and ramble, as usual. My apologies. So when she tells me how cold she is I usually call her crazy, which never goes over well, but I can't

help myself. I offer to change locations with her. Any time honey! Any time! This doesn't endear her to me

but, screw her. When they start plowing snow from the

streets of Surin maybe I'll feel differently. "Yes

darling," I say to her request, "I'll bring you over

some nice warm down parkas and snow shoes when I come

over. Okay?" She hesitates, and says, "What you say

darling?" Sigh. My clever wit once again goes

un-noticed, or at least understood.

     I buy some, what we in Boston refer to as "Fall"

clothing, and schlepp them over in my luggage to

Thailand. Land of Nanook, or is that Nan's nookie? I figure I've wasted some

dough on these articles of clothing. I mean really,

how often will they be needed and worn?

     Upon my arrival in Bangkok this trip though I do

notice a nice lack of the usual oppressive heat in the

air. Ahhhhh!! Refreshing! This is GREAT weather!!

Cold? Not hardly. I sling my over ladened luggage into

the trunk, or boot for you Brits so as not to cause

confusion, of a meter taxi, and hang on for dear life,

praying to whatever gods will listen and protect me.

As my former water buffalo/rice tractor driving, now recently

graduated Formula One race car driver, rockets me down

the highway toward my rented abode for the night. My

fate awaits me, and I pray for unstained shorts at the

conclusion of my journey. Which always seems to

include 500 laps at top speed at the Bangkok Grand

Prix raceway. Buddha save me!! I arrive unstained,

though white knuckled, with a tension headache. Those

with a weak heart may not survive the trip.

(to be continued)

     Cent

[shygye]

I was in BKK in mid-Novemeber. It was a hoot watching the Thais deal with the cold wave ( 24 C or 75 F). The beggers were wearing gloves and some had on knit caps. One woman (owner of a taylor shop) was sitting outside in a heavy winter coat. I liked the weather since I could walk 100 feet without breaking a sweat. The BG's all wanted to cuddle to prevent hypothermia.

[Guest]

I AM JEALOUS

I AM HERE IN NYC RUNNING A SUBWAY PROJECT AT TIMES SQUARE.. ALL I SEE AT NIGHT IS SOME OF THE UGLIST HOOKERS ON THE PLANET AND A LEIGON ON HOMELESS LOSERS....( WORK ON SUBWAY AT NIGHT...ONLY TIME TO TURN OFF TRAINS)

I WISH ALL U GUYS IN BK,PHUKET A HAPPY HOLIDAY AND BE THANKFULL YOURE NOT HERE IN THIS CESSPOOL

HOPEFULLY IN LOS IN MARCH I PRAY

[Central Scrutinizer]

Shygye,

It is amazing how sensitive the Thai's are to cool weather isn't it? My wife is so sensitive that her just drinking a glass of cool water or some cola with ice and she breaks out in goose bumps and you can actually feel her skin temperature go down a couple minutes after drinking the cool liquid. Weird! :-) I still wonder how long she'll last through a New England winter. I may not even try to bring her there. Florida might be better! 55555! Plus I'd prefer Florida myself really. Fuck the snow!! I hate it myself!

Cent