Pattaya, the Hard Way (part 1)

[Guest]

So I am going to Pattaya. I have been there once before with my wife but this time I am going solo. I don?t live in Thailand but when I am there I live up in Nonthaburi. From Nonthaburi to Pattaya, I?d say the quickest way would be to catch a taxi to Mo Chit and then catch the every 20 minute bus to Pattaya. If I left home at 9:00 AM I would be in Pattaya by 1:00 PM I think. This seems rather easy, so I decide to visit Pattaya the hard way.

 

Day 1.

My wife goes to work at 9:00 AM, but me, I don?t; I live in the United States so I am on vacation. But today I grab a ride with her and she drops me off at the Domestic Terminal at the airport. Check-in formalities are taken care of and now it is just waiting for the flight.

 

The best thing about flying into Ubon Ratchathani is that the air plane makes a real gentle decent and you?re flying pretty low for a very long distance. I am tempted to take some photos but as Ubon is in a military zone so this is strictly prohibited.

 

Shortly after getting into the terminal at Ubon my bicycle is unloaded from the aircraft and wheeled over to me. I inflate the tires and ride off into the city.

 

Maybe you read my last story of biking in Thailand. No, it was not here, but I had links to it on a few other web-sites, that you may be familiar with. But for you, my dear Nana Plaza reader, and the fact I feel secure in knowing that my mom will not be reading this, I can say such things as ?I followed the prostitute to the short time hotel? and not have to worry about questions from my mom about what I was doing in a short time hotel with a prostitute. ?But Bob,? you maybe be asking ?just up there you said you were married, and now you?re going into a short time hotel with a prostitute? How could you do such a thing?? Well, I?d have to say that I am a devout Christian and in a thorough review of the bible I have never seen any prohibitions against short time hotels. Not only do short time hotels seem to be fair game, but massage parlors, hotel cafes, karaoke places and anal sex are also not mentioned in the bible. So on with the story?.

 

I ride from the airport a couple of km to the Ubon Hotel. The Ubon is a decent, well OK hotel, in the center of the city. The last time I was in Ubon I was up at the Nevada which was a nice place but sort of too far out of town for my liking.

 

I dump my stuff off and then hit the town. I have to take care of a few things for my trip such as a map and a sim card. This accomplished, I decide to pay a visit to Long Beach. This is a massage parlour attached to one of the cities nicer hotels. During the hay day of the Khmer Rouge many of their upper management were known to frequent this place. Thus, my visit is more in a historical nature rather than sexual.

 

In all of Thailand, I only know how to take a bus in Ubon. Five baht and twenty minutes later I am at Long Beach. It is 4:00 PM which I figure is a good time and things should be hopping but they are not. I am the only customer and the fish bowl is empty. Not only is the fish bowl empty there are just two regular massage ladies in the room and they are not what normally would be considered attractive. But as a firm believer that beauty comes from within I decide to go for a regular massage, and not only was it good, it killed a bit of time and by the end I was happy. Leaving Long Beach I do see a couple of the young ladies that work there. They are pretty.

 

Feeling good I head down to the riverside and grab dinner, then back to the hotel to call it an early night, for tomorrow I have a big day.

 

Day 2.

Today is a big day. I am going to Nam Yeun. Nam Yuen is due south of Ubon about 100 km away.

 

There is not much to write about the ride to Nam Yuen. The first part was along the busy 24 highway, which was in pretty rough condition and heavy with traffic. After I finish up with the 24 I take a break in Det Odem, and have the traditional grilled chicken, sticky rice and som tom.

 

The second part of the ride is on a nice secondary road with much less traffic. The area is dry and brown this time of year, but the lack of scenery is made up for by the kindness of the people there. I chat with three school boys as they ride alongside of me on their motorbike. They are nice kids who don?t often see the bicyclist tourist pass through their village. They turn off somewhere along the way and I go on. Later they pull along side me again and hand me a bag with a soda and some cake, I thank them, they wei and drive off.

 

Getting closer to Nam Yuen the road becomes hillier. If I was here in November it would be beautiful, all green and all. Now it was a bit less than that but still nice. I can see the Dangrek Mts. In the distance which tells me I am close. And I am. I am now in Nam Yuen, I look for a bike shop and find only a store that also sells bikes. I go back and find my hotel. It?s nice.

 

After checking in my number one duty is to was my cycling cloths. Second is to wash myself. After completing both I rest up for tonight I will sample the famed Nam Yuen nightlife. At 3:00 PM I take a short nap.

 

At 9:00 PM my wife call calls, and I waken from my short nap. I am an old man that has not prepared well for this trip and my first 100 km day has kicked my butt. I go back to bed for tomorrow I have a big day, I am going to Khun Han.

 

Day 3.

Today I have a big day, I am going to Khun Han, a town known far and wide for its exciting nightlife. On the way there I will also pay a visit to Prasat Khao Phra Wihan a Khmer temple located in Thailand but most easily accessed from Thailand.

 

Mornings are nice in the NE during the winter time. I leave Nam Yuen and and begin passing through small villages where it seems that a white guy riding a bike is not a daily sight. This is my own personal Valhalla of cycling. I love this. After 40 something km I come to the 221, this is the road that will take me to the temple.

 

The 221 is a very nice road. It is also a blatant rip-off as they have put a National Park right in the middle of the road, toll booth and all, and there is no way around it. From my visit here last year I was expecting this, and had accepted my fate. I ride up to the toll booth, it is very windy today and my bike is gliding very smoothly, I am stealth. I pull up to the toll booth and park, the lady has not moved. I get off the bike at take the steps and am now standing at the counter, she does not see me. I make a noise. She shits her pants and has a mild heart attack, then quickly composes herself. She starts to tell me the fee as I chime in ?song loy baht?, she says ?yes, 200 baht, but because you road a bicycle it is only 100 baht?. Not only is she very pretty, she is very kind. I pay and carry on.

 

The ride is all up hill for the next 8 km, I am also blessed with a 40 km head wind. Oh, this is brutal. Did I mention that I am fat and out of shape? A very tough ride. I count down the kilometers till there is one left. The last one though is the steepest, but it looks shorter than a km as the restaurants are sooner than the end of the road. I stop eat and drink, pork fried rice has never tasted so good. The kindness of people, even vendors, is what makes cycling my way to Pattaya all the more rewarding. And here is no exception.

 

I continue on to the police post, show them my passport, pay five baht, and park my bike behind there station and carry on, on foot. I walk into Cambodia, pay my $5.00 entry fee and head to the temple.

 

I am accosted by a young postcard selling girl. In the past this would annoy me to no ends, but today I am feeling good. I take her on as my guide. I like to just look at the ruins with out knowing of all the history and meaning of everything. But now I have a guide who points out things that I would have walked by. As an added benefit having my own guide also keeps the other young venders from annoying me, it?s a win win situation. I enjoy the ruins very much on this trip ( last trip I did not like them), but I hear the call of the open road, it is time to return to Thailand. I pay off my guide and return to my bike and proceed to scream down 13 km of grade A Thai highway.

 

Yes it is winter time in the NE, but it is also f##king hot now. In such situations the breaks come more often. The only thing more joyful than riding through a small village in the NE, is stopping at the village store and killing a half hour watching the natives as they watch me. And this is done frequently. My mangled Thai is the funniest thing ever for these places. But the people are kind, and everyone has a good time. But I have heard of Khun Han so I keep moving.

 

I get there. I check into my hotel, I spurge today, rather than the 100 baht room, I go straight for the 150 baht room. And then I die, for I am a fat, old man that has just ridden another 100 plus km day, when I am not capable of doing such a thing. After cleaning up I hit the town. Lets grab some food first, I go to eat. The food is good, the people are nicer. I learn that there are 11 foreigners living in Khun Han. I see the Canadian guys house. Then I see the Canadian guy ride by on his bike. I eat, and chat, then get a ride back to my motel, and hit the town.

 

I look for the action that I had heard so much about. I walk looking for it. Where is it???? I don?t know. And here there are no tuk tuks, or taxis, I got to find this on my own. But where?? I walk to the town, I love doing shit like this, just walking around in some place like this. Frustration sets in so I head back to the motel to sleep, I?m kind of tided and my butt hurts so its for the best.

 

Day 4.

 

I am going to Pattaya, and I have discovered that if I cut across a part of Cambodia I can cut off 50, maybe 60 kms. That?s my plan.

 

The ride out of Khun Han is much like yesterdays, lots of small villages, lots of nice people. Breakfast comes later today as there are fewer restaurants in this area, I don?t think people have much money around here. After 40 km I have some more fried rice, that I have to force down, not because it is bad, but because I am sick of it. The next 40 km move to more hilly areas that are much hotter, its brutal. I am near death as I pull into a gas station on the outskirts of Ban Phrai Patthana.

 

I am out of the bottled water zone now. I drink bottle after bottle of the warm drinks that they have in the iceless chest. I chat with a old man and lady, just keeping out of the sun and heat. After 20 minutes a lady drives up on a motorbike. She does not dress like the other women I have seen here in the NE. She also speaks very good English. We chat for a while. The very nice house by the gas station I learn is her sister?s husband, a Sweed. I enjoy speaking English with her as she seems like a very nice person, but I am almost in Cambodia now, so I got to go.

 

I hit the road to Cambodia, 18 km away. The first two km are fantastic, nicely paved little traffic. I am then pointed to a dirt road, this can?t be right, but I find it is. I start riding down the dirt road, I have 16 km of this. The road is going into the mountains, and there is nothing out there, no stores, no houses, no nothing. It is just me and may bike being passed by a car or motorbike every now and then. I have no idea how far I?ve gone or how long is left. I run out of water. I am hot tired and dirty now. This is bullshit. I don?t know how long it took but I arrive at the border post.

 

The Thai official that checks me out of Thailand is very nice. He gives me water and we chat for a while. I move on to Cambodia. It is much less professional on their side of the border but they are cool. I sit amongst thousands of butterflies as my visa is processed. I pay my $20.00, go to immigration and get stamped in.

 

From the border post it is straight down a mountain for a thousand plus meters, and if the road in Thailand was shitty, this is super shitty. Dust and rocks everywhere, danger at every corner, fantastic riding. I get to the bottom of the hill on a big red dirt road, I have 12 km or so to Anlong Veng. After 8 km I learn that in Cambodia traffic rides on the right side of the road, that was news to me, it rides all over the road.

 

I check into the first guest house I come to (mistake!). I clean up as today I am a real mess. I take a look around town. You know, Anlong Veng really sucks. It?s the dustiest places that I have ever been, no roads are paved, its just red dust everywhere. At dusk it became just like the fog in Daly City, out on Skyline, thick as shit. But I eat and have the best food of the trip to this point. The soup isn?t spicy, it just has this fantastic flavor, it is so good. Then I sit down for a fruit drink at a stand for near the guest house, and it too is fantastically good, I have never had a fruit drink so good.

 

As I am sitting drinking my fruit drink, I am also watch two girls that are sitting on the other side of the stand. I?m not too sure what a taxi girl is, but I think these are two of them. They are very cute. I?m not sure what the guest house policy is, but here I can kind of guess that the policy is liberal. But you know, my ass has been beaten to death today, and I know that one of the two guest houses tomorrow is also a brothel, so I go to bed alone. I going to Pattaya, so its no loss.

 

(to be continued)

[Khun_Kong]

Great Part I!

 

The anticipated comedy of you being a tired old man and bedding alone every night brings a smile to my face- not laughing at you, but laughing with you.

 

When you say Skyline and Daly City, you are talking about Blue Ridge??

[Sukhumvit]

Interesting tale.

Makes a refreshing change to read a report by a "cycle" tourist rather than the ubiquitous "sex" tourist reports.

Bought a mountain bike in the Philippines and trucked around the town I was staying for a few months. Godawful roads with potholes and dieselfume spewing jeepneys. Quite nice when off the main highway but out in the sticks picturesque views were lost on me as I tried to avoid sandy ruts in the tracks.

[BelgianBoy]

Bob,

 

Very interesting reading.....

After a few lines I looked my old map up and found all the places mentionned.

I look forward to the rest of the report !

 

BB

[Guest]

No, the Sktline and Daly City I was talking about were in the Bay Area of California, just south of San Francisco.

[jack_schist]

Hey Bob is "sister Ying" really your sister? she sure is one fine looking young lady. I wish i had a sister in law like that.

[Guest]

Jack, Sister Ying is one of my wifes non-related sisters. She worked for my wife for a while then took over a store my wife had in Pratunam. And not only good look, she has a great pesonality to go with it.

[Central Scrutinizer]

Bob,

 

Excellent stuff. I also have a bicycle in Isaan (Trek 700) I brought from the states to tour the countryside, but what you have endevored and are reporting here is absolutely wonderful stuff, and something my own old fat ass wants to do one day soon. (Soon as I quit the smokes again anyway.) I look forward with great anticipation to the rest of your story here. Thanks for posting it here for all of us to enjoy.

 

Cent