Raven Posted February 11, 2002 Report Share Posted February 11, 2002 Shola, Thanks for your candid and honest report. You are certainly in the minority on the board. But your experience mirrors those of many of us the first time out, including me. I remember the first time I went to a massage parlor, I was disgusted and revolted. Woman behind glass served up like today's meat specials. Still don't like them much - too clinical for me. Others swear by them. But, its Bangkok - there is something for everyone. I think that your attitude would change after you hooked up with a nice thai girl and shagged her before sleep and in the morning. There is a nice ritual to this with the obligatory separate showers, towell on until under the covers, etc. Some are great in the sack, some aren't. Some like sex, some don't. For me, the first time is always awkward, but once having had sex with someone, I think that you have a bond with them. If the chemistry works at all, you can have the g/f experience. Given what you have said in your post, I think you would enjoy this. I generally try to find one I like and stay with her for a few days. The sex gets better and better and I enjoy the experience. They generally spend 24 hours a day with me. Often times, she invites me to her room to meet her friends and family members. It never works out in the long run (thankfully) but it sure is fun while it lasts. Is it love? Nah, but its a damn nice illusion. And, for me, its a nice way to help support a young, usually very pretty girl, with limited education. Baht directly from me to her. Can't get more direct finanacial support than that. To her, its a job, a business. And she will very much appreciate a truly young handsome man who no doubt will be generous. To me, its a wonderful illusion, a diversion from the 9 to 5 grind I am engaged in when not in Bangkok. Give it another whirl. Get past that first awkward night, and you may well understand what pulls the rest of us back again and again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 13, 2002 Report Share Posted February 13, 2002 Shola, it's too bad your first experiences with Thailand nightlife were not all they could be and that we didn't know enough about you to help you out beforehand. You made some mistakes, IMO, that are very typical of newbies. Many try too hard and force something to happen. This happens especially to those who only have one or two nights to play. They end up quickly settling for someone who they are not compatible with and it ends up poorly (or sub-optimal). You should always be willing to switch girls in a bar, switch to another bar or even another venue if things are not going great. Just the change of scenery will keep it interesting. Some people can't change, but if you need to find an emotional connection then you will probably end up unhappy most of the time. It's quite acceptable to have sex with someone just for the fun and enjoyment of the moment. It certainly is not enjoyable for most of us to have sex with someone who clearly does not want to be there, but that is usually the exception in Thailand. I'm not saying that the majority of girls enjoy each sex act, but that they accept it. In many cases you will find your desire for conversation and finding a connection completely one-sided. Many bargirls would rather just get to the sex, get paid and go home. There are all types, just make sure you're making the moves on the ones who want it. Your pity for the girls in CPII is somewhat misplaced, IMO. Certainly they do not lead the most glamorous of lives, but I've never been to a MP where the girls are forced to go with anyone dirty or physically abusive. If the girl is chosen by a 150kg man, that is her lot and she accepts it (perhaps with less enthusiasm) as part of the job (or she should switch jobs). Our western ideas of sex and beauty are not relevant to most asian women. Having sex with fat or ugly men is not something they seek out, but it doesn't make them want to vomit either. My simple advice (for everyone) is to disassociate sex, fun, and love as quickly as possible. If you need to have all in one package it is unlikely you will be entirely happy throughout your entire life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 14, 2002 Report Share Posted February 14, 2002 In my defense to the person who said that $500 wasn't enough for the Soi 33 woman, we didn't do anything, I just took her out for a few drinks and she was on her way by 2:30 a.m. or 3. Of course, had anything happened, I would have given more. I have been hanging with my friends for a while and feel rejuvenated. I think I will stop by Pattaya on my way back from Koh Chang and check out the scene there for a night... maybe Saturday or Sunday. I will post my experiences there. I must say that I am surprised that the initial feeling of repulsion seems so common. That being the case, I wonder why so many people try again and again to like it. BTW, this is one of the friendliest message boards I have ever encountered. There is hardly any flaming or hostility despite different views on sensitive subjects. Query that may be moved to a different section: Where does one go to find women who are proficient in English (beyond cursory niceities)? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 14, 2002 Report Share Posted February 14, 2002 In my defense to the person who said that $500 wasn't enough for the Soi 33 woman, we didn't do anything, I just took her out for a few drinks and she was on her way by 2:30 a.m. or 3. Of course, had anything happened, I would have given more. I'll jump the gun here and inject that I don't think that rovineye was actually saying that you were cheap. In my opinion, you wouldn't have had to give her anything. The Soi 33 girls are a tricky lot. In my experience few of them are actually looking just for a quickie unless you look like Richard Gere or even Tony Blair . Some, if not many, will sleep with you the first night, but most want to cultivate a longer (and more lucrative) relationship. So they tend to be more risk-takers. They'll invest a little time with no promise of getting paid anything. In this case, you weren't obnoxious, rude, grabby, etc. so the risk the girl took was reasonable and the 500B (+bf) you gave her was a fine compensation for her time. But she could tell that you weren't really interested in much else (or that you didn't click) and weren't exceedingly loose with the baht. But if you'd given her 2000B she probably would have invested more time (good thing you didn't). You played the game in good faith (and without complete knowledge). If someone knowingly takes a Soi 33 girl out with the hint of something more to come and just uses her for a cheap escort for the evening, then that is pretty low. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 14, 2002 Report Share Posted February 14, 2002 Hi Shula, To echo other replies, I enjoyed your post because of its frankness and honesty. In my first three trips to the LOS, I did not dabble in sanuk with TG's because I was travelling with a gal from farangland(not saying I wasn't interested), but the last trip I went solo with the thought of encounters, however, I am similar to you in that I like an actual connection before I'll hop into the sack with someone. I too was skeptical of the TBG scene but this site and its excellent contributors quelled my insecurities. I chose beer bars and pubs, was selective and after a few days met a gorgeous gal thst was not only a lot of fun in the sack, but wanted to do things in the day like visit sites, go to markets and teach me things about Thai cuisine that I didn't know. In short, the ultimate TG for a month! What I'm saying here is that if you're looking for something that feels real, try the same type of place you might like to go for a beer at home. Other posters may disagree, but it's worked for me and that is the approach I will continue with on my next trip. It all depends on how much time you're willing to spend on cultivating something. And that depends on the time you have in Thailand. Same same, but delightfully different. Chok dii, Rambutan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 14, 2002 Report Share Posted February 14, 2002 quote: Originally posted by Shola: I have been hanging with my friends for a while and feel rejuvenated. I think I will stop by Pattaya on my way back from Koh Chang and check out the scene there for a night... maybe Saturday or Sunday. I will post my experiences there. I must say that I am surprised that the initial feeling of repulsion seems so common. That being the case, I wonder why so many people try again and again to like it. BTW, this is one of the friendliest message boards I have ever encountered. There is hardly any flaming or hostility despite different views on sensitive subjects. I'd say meet me I'm pattaya this weekend and I'll show you around, but I'm going to Ko Chang myself tomorrow for 4 days! Well, if you're still around on the 20th... first time I came to pattaya I was just going to stop by for a few days, but ended up staying 2 weeks. It's a friendly board parly because some subjects are specifically prohibitied and flames are not tolerated. Nice thing about a moderated board. As to why so many try again after initial an mediocre/bad experience: Lust. Once you have a good experience and 'get it' you're hooked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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