Sad but true....

[Guest]

YOU KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN IN THAILAND TOO LONG WHEN...........

You put ice in your beer.

You eat pizza with ketchup on it.

You order "whiskey soda" for breakfast at 7:00 a.m. instead

of milk or orange juice.

Your idea of business wear is a Safari Suit.

You complain to the waiter that your food doesn't have enough

chili peppers or fermented fish sauce in it.

You don't notice the stray dogs and cats lingering under your

table in the restaurant.

The water cooler at your workplace has only one unwashed cup

to drink with and you don't mind sharing it with 300 other people.

You spend most of your work day eating, thinking about your

next meal or discussing your last meal with your colleagues.

You've developed the ability to sleep anytime, anywhere,

regardless of the noise, the situation or your body position.

You think the first thing you're supposed to do after getting

involved in a car accident is to run away.

You're uncomfortable with public displays of affection, but

don't notice the massage parlors everywhere.

You start referring to 'katoeys' (transvestites) as SHE.

When visiting the zoo you wonder what the different animals

would TASTE like.

You come across a terrible crime/accident scene and pose for

a photograph with the corpse.

You use your mobile phone in inappropriate public places

(e.g. movie theatres, elevators, while sitting on the head in a public

restroom), and share your conversation with everyone.

The check-in clerk at the airport/hotel has to ask you to

remove the durian fruit from your bags before boarding the flight/going up to

your room.

You leave your room service meal leftovers & dishes on the

floor outside of your door for the flies, ants and roaches to enjoy.

You don't think that there's such a thing as a gold chain

that's too gaudy or too big.

You'll pick your nose in public, but cover your mouth with

your free hand when using a toothpick.

Your wife doesn't mind if you get a "Mia Noi" as

long as she remains the "Major" wife.

The foot prints on the toilet seat are your own.

You no longer wait in line, but immediately go to the head of

the queue.

You stop at the bottom of the escalator to plan your day.

You habitually punch all the buttons as you leave the lift.

It has become exciting to see if you can get on the lift

before anybody can get off.

You are willing to pay to use a toilet you wouldn't go to

within a kilometer of at home.

It is no longer surprising that the only decision made at a

meeting is the time and venue for the next meeting.

You rank the decision making abilities of your staff by how

long it takes them to reply, "Up to you, Boss."

You no longer wonder how someone making US$200 per month can

drive a Mercedes.

You have considered buying a motorcycle for the next family

car.

You accept without question the mechanic's analysis that the

car is "broken" and that it will cost you a lot of money to get it fixed.

You find it saves time to stand and retrieve your cabin

luggage while the plane is still on final approach.

You are quite content to repeat your order six times in a

restaurant that only has four items on the menu.

A T-bone steak and rice sounds just fine.

If when listening to the pilot proves he can't speak English, you no

longer wonder if he can understand Air Traffic Controllers.

You regard it as part of an adventure when the waiter exactly

repeats your order and the cook makes something completely different.

Taxi drivers understand you.

You own a rice cooker.

You don't notice when music is played at full volume.

You wear flip-flops on a date.

You automatically side with locals in altercations with

tourists.

You make a face when you drink beer from your homeland.

You see snow in a Western movie but can't quite place it.

You wai even after the other fellow has extended his hand.

You smile when the upcountry bus driver steers with his

elbows because he's eating with his hands.

Cracked sidewalks bring on nostalgic memories of playing

hopscotch as a youngster.

Your sister comes visiting and you feel embarrassed because

she weighs 50 pounds more than your girlfriend.

You walk the streets at any hour of the day or night without

worrying about getting mugged.

You are the Thai checkers champ of the neighborhood.

Showtime

[Steve]

Your daughter is older than your Thai girlfriend/wife.

You actually own clothes older than your Thai girlfriend/wife.

[sanukdee]

You enjoy your holiday in Hua Hin.

[Mentors]

You own a Tuk Tuk and a waterbuffalo

[Guest]

When you hear the price, you always think " only a Farang would pay that much "

[Guest]

You wait an hour for a bus that takes you 500 metres down the road.And you still end up standing.

[pattaya127]

back home, you hand a 1000 baht bill to your g/f after your first night together again

[CondomKing]

a couple of old ones:

All your pants only have one back pocket.

You keep a coin for the bus stuck in your ear.

You look both ways before crossing one way streets.

[CondomKing]

You feel lonely in a toilet with out a couple of women applying makeup and fixing their hair.

[Lamock Chokaprret]

You can walk over a sewer grate and still wonder what specials the food stall up the street is running this afternoon.