Our First Winter

[The_Munchmaster]

As it's that time of year in the northern hemisphere I thought I'd post this little story about a guy who moved from London, in the South East of England, to Aberdeen, in the North East of Scotland.

 

THE DIARY OF AN ENGLISH MAN LIVING IN ABERDEENSHIRE

 

"OUR FIRST WINTER"

 

DEC 20TH

Its starting to snow. The first of the season and the first we've seen for years. The wife and I took out our hot toddies and sat on the porch watching the fluffy soft flakes drift gently down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It is so beautiful and peaceful.

 

DEC 24TH

We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white, glistening snow, covering as far as the eye could see. What a fantastic sight, every tree and bush covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time ever and loved it. I did both our driveway and the pavement.

 

Later that day a snow-plough came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shoveled it away again.

 

The children next door built a snowman with coal for eyes and a carrot for a nose, and had a snowball fight. A couple just missed me and hit the car, so I threw a couple back and joined in their fun.

 

Dec 26th

It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature dropped to around minus 8 degrees. Several branches on our trees and bushes snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplough came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now a brownish-gray.

 

Jan 1st

Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush, which soon became ice when the temerature dropped again. Bought snow tyres for both our cars. Fell on my arse in the driveway. Went to a physio but nothing was broken.

 

Jan 5th

Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought a 4x4 to get her to work. She slid into a wall and did considerable damage to the right wing. Had another 8 inches of white shite last night. Both vehicles are covered in salt and iced up slush. That bastard snow-plough came by twice today. Where's that bloody shovel.

 

Jan 9th

More fucking snow. Not a tree or bush on our property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a paraffin heater, which tipped over and nearly torched the house. I managed to put the flames out, but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands. Lost all my eyebrows and eyelashes. Car hit a fucking deer on the way to casualty and was written off.

 

Jan 13th

Fucking bastard white shite just keeps on coming down. have to put on every article of clothing just to go to the post box. The little shits next door ambushed me with snowballs on the way back. I'll shove that carrot so far up the little prick's arse it'll take a good surgeon hours to find it. If I ever catch the arsehole that drives the snow-plough I'll chew open his chest and rip out his heart with my teeth. I think the bastard hides

around the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling and then he accelerates down the street like Michael fucking Schumacher and buries the fucking driveway again.

 

Jan 17th

16 more sodding inches of fucking snow and fucking ice and fucking sleet and god knows what other white shite fell last night. I am in court in 3 months time for assualting the snow - plough driver with an ice pick. Can't move my fucking toes. Haven't seen the sun for 5 weeks. Minus 20 and more fucking snow is forecast.

 

FUCK THIS I'M MOVING BACK TO LONDON

[Flashermac]

I can sympathize with him. Snow is great ... for about 3 days. After that, it sucks.

 

p.s. One year we had a 75 year old oak tree split right down the middle from ice. Half of the tree damn near took the front porch off of the house. It wiped out a 30 foot spruce too. If it had gone a bit to the right, it could have knocked a hole right through the house! Good reason to live in Bangkok!

[Guest lazyphil]

i'm planning a 7-10 trip to the highlands in the summer, i have only been to scotland once, edinburgh, no interest in going there again, want to experience the wilderness, a whiskey tour, remote castles, perhaps the mull of kintyre+isle of skye.....any scenic route, guest houses anyone can suggest, cheers for first hand experience on this.

[BJ_Blackowitz]

has been fucking snowing here in the alps for some time now,

this fucking white shit is good for Smoowking, not to play around with...

[sayjann]

i don't mind the snow so much it's the fucking frost which pisses me off.

this Week im leaving for Work at 6pm and having to spend 10 Minutes scraping the windows of the car.

then when i leave 8 Hours later i go through the whole process again......... :onfire: :onfire:

[Flashermac]

My sister had an idiot neighbour who was in a hurry to get to work one morning. Since the windscreen/windshield on his BMW was iced up, the cretin threw hot on it to melt the ice! You guessed it ... balooey! The glass shattered, leaving the neighbour to dance around and curse his head off in frustration.

 

::

[sayjann]

Phil.

i spent 6 Summers in a row driving all around Scotland and the Orkneys.

had a blinding time and any info you need about places to visit then PM me.

i presume you are driving?.

 

if so i can highly recommend a route which will take you full circle from Edinburgh.

best to start it at the Forth Bridge.

the route will take in what i think is the most beautiful scenic road in Scotland and to Loch Ness,Inverness,Culloden,west to Plockton (where they filmed Hamish Macbeth and The Wicker Man) and a great place to go on a boat trip and see the Seals and Dolphins.

 

then onto Skye,Eilean Donan Castle (Highlander) and the scene of one of the best views of Scotland IMO.

down to Fort William,Ben Nevis and the road through The Pass Of Glencoe which is stunning.

down to the Trossachs and Loch Lomond and either to Glasgow or Edinburgh.

could all be done in 4-5 Days at a slow pace and stopping off and seeing the sights.

once in the Highlands then many Whiskey Tours to be had.....

 

no need to worry about accomodation,if you walk into any Tourist office (they are everywhere,they can tell you what is available,the price and give you directions.

also like in England you will see signs outside Pubs offering B&B.

i have a great Michelin Guide Book which i can send you which has so much info.

and one of those big Road Atlases which come out each Year (AA,RAC)?

a pity you might not have chance to drive the Northerly route from John O'Groats to Cape Wrath.

very dramatic road and you can visit the most NW and NE points of the UK Mainland.

if you do go then i envy you as i would love to go back again and see things again........

 

like i say let me know what you want and i will send things by PM............

[Guest lazyphil]

Sounds great, PM sent. Sorry to OP for hyjacking his thread