Guest Posted July 27, 2001 Report Share Posted July 27, 2001 Hi! I have been reading the board for some time, and I think you have good knowledge for thais and insight to be the best bunch of people I can think of to help me. I have an interesting problem for you to advice in. Let me tell something about the background (I have changed the names to protect the guilty). I'm a 30 year old guy in an western country. I have had two gf's for three years. They know about each other by accident, and are not happy about the competition. Telling a thing to one person makes the other one knowing it sooner or later, so hiding is not an option. Anyway, first gf of mine is Nan, a 21 year old Thai girl. I met her when she was in the university, studying english. I guess that's one of the reasons we hit off, her english skills made it easy to communicate with her. She isn't a bar girl (I can hear the sceptical groan there) but a normal middle class girl. She has pretty much the good and bad quirks of the normal Thai girl. She is from a medium size city but hes spent time in Bangkok and abroad. What bothers me most is overreacting to some things (you who know the Thais know what I mean) and that it's not always easy to find out what she really thinks since Thais are not confronting people. My second gf is Gem, a Chinese girl. She is 10+ years older than Nan, and quite different. I met her in the same place than Nan in the net. I didn't take her that seriously at first since I had a gf already, but it seems like that approach helped to win her trust. She has an university degree and speaks better English than I do, and has a respectable career as a consult in a major American company. She has travelled around the globe. She is not shy, whatsoever, to express her feelings to me. In general it seems that I do better with her than Nan. That is fine and dandy so far, but here comes the catch: Today Nan told me without warning that she has been applied and accepted to the university in my city. She asked me if she can stay with me. Now, I think both of the girls are lovely, and I think I could spend the rest of my life with either of them. I just like you to comment which one I should choose. Apparently, if I let Nan to stay with me, Gem will say goodbye. If I say no to Nan it's a goodbye too. What I want is some conversation who might be better and why. Jan [ July 27, 2001: Message edited by: Jan ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 27, 2001 Report Share Posted July 27, 2001 I don't know the girls and therefore can't commentt. It really is decision time for you and no-one else. I would say though that I think you are probably fond of the girls but feel absolutely no commitment at all, not a good thing if you genuinely want a relationship to last. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
follies Posted July 27, 2001 Report Share Posted July 27, 2001 Jan Boyohboy, you don't ask easy questions, do you? Some points to consider: - Nan took the initiative. Good sign. - What about family obligations (yours and theirs)? - You have the best of both worlds right now. Fantasyland cannot last - Or can it? Is there an excuse you can give Nan to prevent her moving in with you, yet keep the relationship going? - Your comments indicate to me a preference for Gem. Go with your gut feelings Good Luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Posted July 27, 2001 Report Share Posted July 27, 2001 No! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 27, 2001 Report Share Posted July 27, 2001 Follies: Thank you for answering... - Nan did. A good sign, but I feel she's aggressive for now. - Family obligations are light I hope. Basically her parents are a mother with a home business, mine are independent. - Fantasyland doesn't last for sure, that's why I plead your help.. What makes it fantasyland? I'm alone here - I have walked through that road already. I could say she's just a fried and sleeps on a sofa, but even if she really did, would you believe it? [ July 27, 2001: Message edited by: Jan ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 27, 2001 Report Share Posted July 27, 2001 As you yourself can't come to a clear-cut decision, the best thing is to avoid anything right now which would fix you up with one girl at the expense of the other. How the hell you go about that is your very own problem; no one else can help you in that. In due time, you might see things clearer and tend more distinctly towards one of the two. But one more note on the Thai female psyche: Unlike Western women who will just walk away when you have another woman (or run away screaming), many Thai women will be MORE ATTRACTED TO YOU! This sounds crazy, but I've seen it happen many times. In a way, they seem to think that if another woman has fallen for you, there must be something worthwhile about you. And then they take up the challenge ... Good luck ... some predicament ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 27, 2001 Report Share Posted July 27, 2001 Scum, I have tried to be away from them, it doesn't really work. I admit that the more time passes without seeing the girls the clearer I think, but after a few times it doesn't really help. You seem to be right with the second part. Actually it's new for me. Pretty hard to tell if it's good or bad for me. But it does seem to be something I'm with, no matter if she loves me or not. [ July 27, 2001: Message edited by: Jan ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 28, 2001 Report Share Posted July 28, 2001 I have a similar situation and have decided for the Thai. My Thai GF lives in Chiang Mai and my Chinese here in the US. For me it is more an issue about cultures. As you know with an Asian woman her culture is a big part of the package. Although I am very attracted to the Chinese girl and she has many wonderful qualities, I am just not as attracted to the Chinese culture. I feel so much more at home with Thai culture and Thai people. That has become the more important factor for me in making a decision. Chok Dee! Sailor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibblies Posted July 29, 2001 Report Share Posted July 29, 2001 Choose the one with the biggest tits. Someone had to say it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zanemay Posted July 30, 2001 Report Share Posted July 30, 2001 Jan, It's my philosophy to let the girls eliminate themselves if they have a mind too. Put your chips on the table and if one wants to walk away, so be it. This business about "I could spend the rest of my life with either of them" is silly. You are too young to be thinking that way. So am I at 56. Don't accept pressure to have someone move in on you and compromise your freedom. Her sudden need to live with you sounds suspiciously like a convenient manipulation to oust the other girl. Say "no" and let her do as she will. Best case is that things will stay the same. Good luck and give us a followup. Zane May Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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