Still seeking answers

[Guest]

About 8 yrs. ago, I met a Thai woman by chance who was a total "stunner". We were both seperately married and initially just hung out having wonderful times together. Initially, I did not realize she was married, (to an Ex-pat) and didn't reveal my marriage either. Silly games we play.

Not being aware of Thai women, I was naive in not knowing for certain that she was a former BG, if there is such a thing as "former". As well, I never pushed the issue, preferring to give her space and the opportunity to be treated with respect.

Due to previous problems with her husband, who returned home after I knew her for a month or two, they eventually divorced but continued living under the same roof. Strange arrangement, but by that time, it was obvious that they had a lot of history together from when he worked in LOS and knew her as a BG, eventually marying her and bringing her to the US. Appeared to be decent guy but definitely a player...double standard with Thai woman.

A few months after their divorce, they planned a trip to LOS which I thought was possibly the last time that I would see her...sort of him returning her to her family. We had a torrid fling over a weekend before she left, which was my good-bye in case she never returned.

After she departed, I got calls about 2-3 times per week...with "I love you, I miss you's, etc." After 5-6 weeks, I get the news that she may be pregnant which I took as a psych game and blew off with extreme prejudice.

After 3 mos. I get a call that she'll be arriving at the Int'l airport and can I pick her up. As fate would have it, my watched truly stopped while killing time before heading to the airport, causing me to miss the flight.

As this was unforgiveable(?), we didn't speak for a few days but eventually had a brief meeting. Being absent minded, I never confronted the pregnancy issue partly because after the initial announcement and my response, it never came up again. From that moment on, she wanted nothing to do with me.

After successive attempts to reconcile, followed with numerous flower bouquets, she decides to call my wife, exposing the affair and tearing me apart. I get seperated for 6 months, before reconciling with my wife. During my time of seperation, Thai girl calls to say good-bye and she and ex sell their house,car, etc. and move to Malaysia...so as the story goes, but confirmed by outside sources.

After moving back home and getting my life back in order, one day I get a call from Thai woman that she just came into town and called to say hello. Strong attempts to bait me into asking to meet her were made but I didn't fall into the trap. Several months later, the company that I worked for closes their office and from that point on, I loose any contact with Thai woman.

Sorry for the long history lesson, but here goes the sick part. I have never been able to remove this woman from my mind. Two years ago, I had the opportunity to meet a friend in LOS for a couple of weeks. He's a seasoned veteran that showed me around BKK and Samui....got some insight to Thai women, which made me realize how similar a lot of them are. After reading this board's posts avidly, I see a lot of stories that help paint a clearer picture of what I was dealing with.... truly amazing creatures.

In my heart, although I know that she was terribly jaded and a LT relationship would have never worked out, I know that she is a good hearted person. To boot, during my trip to LOS, I never saw a stunner of equal beauty but she was even more beautiful on the inside (ahhh!).

The hardest part for me was loosing what had become a friend and companion, sexual aspects aside. I often wonder where she could be and if there ever was a pregnancy. She would be about 34-35 now....seasoned pro but still had a lot to give on personal level. Chances are that she moved on and has done quite well for herself, at least I'd like to think so. Perhaps she has some sort of strange relationship with her ex.

Is there much potential for women of this age that are on the game in LOS? Trust me, she had the looks and class to be at the head of any class....I imagine that somehow she might not have ever worked in the bars much but rather as a high priced free lancer that the average tourist never sees. I did have the impression that she may have had exposure to the Japanese side of things but I really know very little about that scene. She spoke some Japanese and eluded to going to Singapore with her "family" on occasion.

Just curious about your speculative opinions on what I may have been dealing with, whether there are a million similar stories and if there would ever be much possibility for locating this woman again through professional services or otherwise???

She would have left the bar scene to go to the US around 1985/86, so doubtful that much traceable info still exists. My thought for the best chance would be to trace the ex down through SSI or possibly her as well. Any thoughts or comments much appreciated. Adios.

[Sarisin]

quote:

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Originally posted by Jack6410:

Is there much potential for women of this age that are on the game in LOS? Trust me, she had the looks and class to be at the head of any class....I imagine that somehow she might not have ever worked in the bars much but rather as a high priced free lancer that the average tourist never sees.

Just curious about your speculative opinions on what I may have been dealing with, whether there are a million similar stories and if there would ever be much possibility for locating this woman again through professional services or otherwise???

She would have left the bar scene to go to the US around 1985/86, so doubtful that much traceable info still exists. My thought for the best chance would be to trace the ex down through SSI or possibly her as well. Any thoughts or comments much appreciated. Adios.

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Jack, first of all a great post - and I feel for your situation and concern. I have taken the liberty of editing your post - I hope you don't mind. I wish there was a better way on this board to intersperse my comments following yours, but, if there is, I can't figure it out.

Anyway, I know there will be guys who say 'I have heard this story before. same-o, same-o.' But, I think each story told here has its own uniqueness and flavor, and, certainly its importance to the poster, as well as relevance to the readers. So, I enjoy reading all of them.

I wish I could provide you with answers, but, IMHO, a lot of the answers rest with you. What could you possibly be looking for should you meet up again with this lady? What would be the first words out of your mouth when you saw her face?

In your post I detect both feelings of caring, but also, clearly feelings of guilt too. Which would be your primary motivation of meeting this lady again? Because you truly do care for her, and might want to rekindle a relationship? Or, just to exorcise your guilt and put things on a better plain before moving on again with your life?

So, that is what I think you need to figure out.

As to what may have become of her? Well, you are right, of course. You won't find many 35-36 year old bargirls around, but there are a few. Just last night I met one of my favorite dancers, who, IMO, is one of the most stunning ladies I have ever laid eyes on. She has been dancing nearly 6 years. At the terrible old age of 24, she feels washed up and desparately wants out of the business through finding a steady boyfriend. Just 24, but she looks around at the 18-19 year old ladies and feels like her time is up.

If you want my guess, based on what you wrote, I have a feeling she moved on and found someone else - likely another farang. She sounds like a super lady who had a few problems, but often those great ladies land on their feet and move on to new relationships.

As to locating her whereabouts, I think you have some good ideas. I am always amazed that I run into ladies I have known more than 6 years and have not seen in awhile. Bangkok is a big, small town, if that makes sense. Surely, you could visit some of the places you were together. The same bars are probably still around, and you might be surprised with the corporate knowledge maintained in those places as to locations of former workers. Also, there are private detectives around that could help you out for a fee, if you were really interested.

I know I probably wasn't that much help, Jack - giving advice on relationships is not one of my gifts. However, I did enjoy your post and feel your plight, and thought I should write something.

Good luck my friend.

[pattaya127]

I know your feelings. sometimes,i dream/think of a special girl i met in LOS, the kind of girl that splits your Thailand experience in 2, before and after her. I think when things don't come too easy or events happen that separate people, it is wiser not to pursue our dreams too far. You can't kill the memories. My girl was not always easy to handle, rather unsentimental, but a refreshing change from all the "i luv you daaling' shit one hears over there. If this girl of yours called your wife, i also think that shows a part of her you would probably have to deal with again in a realationship with her. Not nice, really. keep the memories and don't dwell on dreaming up an unrealizable fantasy. Ain't infatuation grand?