Where to meet a normal girl, not "on the game"!

[Guest]

As stated above, it is normal and considerate behavior for a girl to be sending some money home to Mom. My girlfriend doesn't make much but still manages to send home a few hundred baht every month. Kids are the welfare system in Thailand. If you tell a Thai that you don't send money to your parents, they will think you are bad man.

[Guest]

To ThaiHome:

I am not saying that sending money back home is a signed of "flawed or abnormal character", as you wrongly suggest.

If you read my posts carefully, you will see that I would prefer to develop a relationship with a normal girl -- not a prostitute -- a girl who works in a normal, regular job and whose family does not need any money from her.

But the theme of my thread is really a wistful, light-hearted look at the advantages and disadvantages of being just another face in the big pond, like Pattaya, or "cock of the walk" (perhaps) in a little upcountry town.

Both lifestyles have their good points, but nowhere is the perfect place . . . especially to develop that long-term Thai relationship that many of us seek. Right?

Hope this helps clear up any misunderstanding.

[Guest]

I gave some to my parents.They never need my support but I happy to do it so. A normal girl really that HARD to find??

[Guest]

Yes 007, a "normal" girl is hard to find in Pattaya, especially when the only places farangs hang out are bars and go-gos. Sort of lessens the chances doesn't it?

Also as I said in a previous post, even when you do meet a non B/G Thai girl eg at work they just think you want to screw around in the bars anyway.

[cardinalblue]

I have met a number of girls (mainly from Isaan) who don't work in the bar scene but do send some of their earnings back home. I think it is a common practice of economically disadvantaged families.

Yes, I think it is easy to find a very attractive Thai woman who doesn't work in the bar scene. The hard part is the compatability aspect and the development of that relationship. Our two cultures see the world so differently! I have found it difficult to move beyond the superficialness of stage one....................

[Guest]

Just a quick update on the dilemma of Pattaya (and other expats centers in Thailand) versus upcountry towns or cities as the best place to meet, and develop relationships with, normal Thai girls.

Well this week I decided to get out of Pattaya for a few days, just to put it to the test. Hopped on a bus and headed for an out-of-the-way provinicial town. (Sorry dudes, I don't want to say where exactly.)

The difference was staggering. As soon as I arrived, I could feel it. Girls everywhere, smiling at me and making eye contact. In supermarkets, the bank, the open market, restaurants, everywhere... even the gal who gives out the parking tickets was chatting me up. Within a few hours I had at least 10 phone contacts and the promise of further developments.

I should mention that 99 percent of these beautiful young things could hardly speak a word of English, so it was up to me to dig out my rusty Thai vocab -- hardly ever used in Pattaya -- to keep the conversation rolling.

While I was there I hardly saw any farangs at all, maybe a few backpackers passing through. So of course there was the novelty/curiosity factor for these Thai ladies who were not used to seeing and talking with farangs.

As other posters have said in this thread, if you develop a regular routine, dress neatly, smile and always be polite, then odds are certainly in your favor... especially in a non-tourist, non-expat location.

I headed back to Pattaya with a heavy heart, reluctant to leave all these gorgeous babes. This definitely has possibilities.

[Guest]

I would prefer to develop a relationship with a normal girl -- not a prostitute -- a girl who works in a normal, regular job and whose family does not need any money from her.

I hate to say it but you are asking for a hell of a lot. I know a lot of normal girls with good, regular jobs but I know very few who don't have to send money home every month. As was mentioned before this is the Thai way and if you don't like or accept it it's best you look elsewhere. Don't get me wrong I think sending excessive amounts to anyones family is crazy but most Thais feel it is their responsibility to send money to their parents especially if they are poor and yet put them through school so they could have that good job. You need to find what is a proper amount and not be bullied into giving any more. One of the conditions my wife set for me before she would marry me is that I would help to give her father money if she couldn't work and since we have a child now I pay. It is not a lot of money, usually 2 to 3 thousand baht a month but if I wasn't giving him this money he would still have to be working and he is 84. My wife loves me more for it and that alone maks it worth while. Although I know a lot of guys are getting suckered into paying for everything fron college tuition for the whole family to cousins Somcahi's plastic surgery to their sister inlaws boyfriends motorcycle! You must draw a firm line. My wifes sister asked me for some money for the first time in over 5 years of marriage and my wife couldn't stop apologizing to me and gave her sister a talking to that I don't think she will soon forget.

As for finding a "normal girl" they are everywhere. I find most women in Pattaya are jaded because if you would like to admit it or not some of the men there are the scum of the earth. Also, don't listen to these burnt out bar flies who will tell you "there are only types of Thai women bar girls and virgins" it is utter bullshit. Here are a few suggestions for you. Try going to some places where the women can speak English, travel agents, hospitals ect.. If you can get by in Thai then try everywhere from the girls taking the money on the buses to departments stores sales girls to your local 7-11 clerk. Tell a girl working at immigration you think she is beautiful and ask her out on a date (this actually worked for a friend of mine at the airport). Just remember there will be countless cultural hurdles to overcome especially if you are new to Asia. One more thing, if you make enough Thai friends they will help you look. Anyway, good luck and trust me it is not as hard as some may have told you.

[Guest]

quote:

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Originally posted by TropicNights:

(Sorry dudes, I don't want to say where exactly.)

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You're right dude. Let it be "our" little secret 98 % of Thailand has nothing to do with NEP and PP and Pathaya. Imagine all the thousands of Huns which would raid the place, violating all the women, playing soccer with the severed head of the male population. The country would go down in wailing and grinding of teeth. The King ought to reward you one of his fancy medals.

[Guest]

quote:

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Originally posted by TropicNights:

Is it possible for an expat farang to meet and develop an ongoing relationship with a normal girl, and not one who is "on the game"? A normal girl from a normal family, not rich, but who doesn't have to support her parents. A girl who doesn't have a sick buffalo or a cluster of kids to take care of, back in some Issan village.

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Some other folk critized on the sick buffalo bit and rightfully so. As such I'm not really embarassed to say I find it more diffficult to find "normal" GFs in Thailand than in Malaysia or Phils but it's pretty much a language thing I guess. As such finding a GF in SE Asia is not different from finding a GF back home, if not much easier. Just think about what you would do back home. And what's easier really but stroll around a mall and ask for advice 'coz you don't speak the language. Get yourself some Beverly Hills Natural White, practise your smile, dress a little smart (but casual, white shirt, slacks, expensive shoes (Bally will do), but no tie. Better no watch than a cheap one.), buy yourself a little BMW (gg .. that's actually what a Thai Guy will tell you, but you're not going to need one), and just hit the malls .... Go a little slow. Coffee ... Lunch ... Don't be too surprised in case they bring a chaperone. Expect to pay for everything. Keep smiling. Don't drink too much 'coz they're scared of that. Don't show too much affection in public (but perhaps just a little more than what local etiquette prescribes, 'coz you want to make a difference). You should be fine. Walk those malls, look for your "10", and just ask her something stupid you already know. Avoid Sukumvit all together by the way. Avoid farang hot spots all together. There's huge malls where you will hardly see a farang. Don't stay in a hotel near NEP or PP. Move to a midrange hotel nr. the the river. You can do everything right untill you mention you stay in Nana. She will ask you why you are in LOS. That's another thing where you can go wrong. Think about a good answer. She will ask you about nightlife. It's ok to mention PP but it is *not* ok to mention NEP. You've *never" heard of NEP. Spend a few days checking out small restaurants along the river. She will be mighty impressed you're able to select your own romantic hot spot. Learn something about Thai culture and history. Are you still smiling ? Have you still been able to refrain talking about "back home" and the World Bowl ? Do you know this Thai snooker player ? Did you buy her chocolates on the second date ? Her panties are getting real wet now .... This is the third date, perhaps the fourth. It will be soon now ! But you *DON'T* suggest to go back to your hotel. *She* will find a solution to the problem. And if she doesn't (this is your fourth date) you may want to ask what it is Thai lovers do in case they want to get intimate. But you picked on a "10" who speaks English, otherwise she would not have been able to understand your stupid question in the mall. So probably you don't have to ask what it is Thai lovers do.

I understand Phils and East-Malaysia a lot better than LOS but things cannot be that different. I have to admitt: I never tried it in BKK. I imagine I would have to go and hit on 10-12 rather than 3-4. Just 'coz of the language. Other than that, it should be the same.

And it is *soooo* much more rewarding than some Thermea stretch marked slapper. At least in my mind.

And remember: Dating is a numbers game. Anywhere in the world (outside Africa). Back home you may have to hit on a 100 instead of 10-12.

Good luck

[Guest]

clickonline, that was a great insightful post with facts that needed to be said and expressed properly. thanks.