Guest Posted August 22, 2001 Report Share Posted August 22, 2001 Is it possible for an expat farang to meet and develop an ongoing relationship with a normal girl, and not one who is "on the game"? A normal girl from a normal family, not rich, but who doesn't have to support her parents. A girl who doesn't have a sick buffalo or a cluster of kids to take care of, back in some Issan village. Okay, I know this subject has been covered many times before on this board, but usually the "how" and not the "where". And by "where" I mean the ideal city or town . . . is it better to live in an expat area like Pattaya, Koh Samui or Phuket where you can buy farang food and have social contact with other westerners? Or a place where relatively few farangs live and hang out, e.g. Hat Yai, Lopburi, Phitsanalok, Khon Kaen? I remember when I was visiting such places I have talked with girls who have never met a farang before in their entire lives. They don't speak any English either, so understanding a little Thai language might help. But more importantly, they never get hit on a million times a day by every farang that walks past, as often happens in farangs tourist spots. So my question for other board memebers. . . Do you think a farang expat, living permanently in Thailand, would have a better chance of developing a long-term relationship with a normal girl in non-tourist areas? Or is it better to forget this idea, and stay in Pattaya, where I am living now. . . and perhaps develop some new strategies? What do you guys think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 22, 2001 Report Share Posted August 22, 2001 Note: I don't know you, so I give this advice knowing that I may have made wrong assumptions, not to mention the fact that I am an ass. Your Thai language skills are a big factor (in the "where" you can meet girls). Pattaya has some nice regular girls, and you don't have to speak Thai. But, I think your odds are moderate, because the place is a circus. BKK has lots of regular girls, and you don't have to speak Thai. I think your odds would be good. In the country, you must know Thai, in order to have good odds. I have not spent enough time in Phuket or Chang Mai to give advice. The real KEY is to establish a trusted network of friends (male and female)--Thai ones especially. That is the reliable way to meet a good Thai girlfriend. Given this, just forget everything else I've said, preceding this paragraph. Get ready for a roller coaster ride. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSTEACH Posted August 22, 2001 Report Share Posted August 22, 2001 For what it's worth, I also was looking for a nonbargirl friend and a friend mentioned a web site.. AsiaFriendFinder... free, no paying for names or addresses. I looked under Thailand and found a Thai-Chinese lady in Bangkok. We exchanged emails for about 2 months and finally met in July. She's a doll. Never married, works for a very large multinational, fluent in English, master's degree, and very real. I must say I was surprised. Never expected to meet someone like this on the net. She explained that her early years were in the university and then the climb up the corporate ladder. Never really interested in Thai men. She also said many Thai men do not want an educated woman for a wife. Now at her age, she's considered an old maid, by Thai standards. I will say this, it is unlike any relationship you ever had with a bargirl. You can speak in full sentences, they DO NOT want your money for the sick buffalo or brother who fell off the moto and is in the hospital, they can talk about any subject, and they are HONEST. Repeat the last one... HONEST. God what a contrast from what I had before. Honest and hadn't screwed half the free world. Maybe you should give the site a look, maybe what you've been looking for is there, although there are no guarantees in this world. Good Luck!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 22, 2001 Report Share Posted August 22, 2001 TropicNights I've worked in and around Pattaya and BKK for a few years and so have worked and socialisewd with "normal" girls. They think all farangs want to screw around in the bars. If you're looking for a "normal" girl I reckon your chances are better in any of teh places you mentioned. It might take a while tio develop some trust and there will be very little to entertain you during the day but I'm sure you could take Thai lessons and thereby increase your odds. I knew a girl in a bar who told me all the girls at her university wanted to meet a farang but there are none in Khon Kaen and they wouldn't be seen dead anywhere near Pattaya. May be a good place to start? Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 22, 2001 Report Share Posted August 22, 2001 TropicNights Well I certain agree with you that if you were going to smaller towns like Phitsanulok, you would have some language barrier, which will be less, by staying in the tourist area’s or BKK. The question on where to meet good girls can be only answered by yourselves, as you have to define this. What type of women are you looking for ?. Only what I can say, there are lots of Thai women in which you are able to build a long-term relation ship. It’s like in any relationship, it work or is doesn’t work and you have to give it its time. You will find on this message boards the facts that relationships, including the farang that are getting screwed by Thais, but you will see also the success stories of those what works. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lembeh Posted August 22, 2001 Report Share Posted August 22, 2001 quote: Originally posted by TropicNights: Is it possible for an expat farang to meet and develop an ongoing relationship with a normal girl, and not one who is "on the game"? What do you guys think? Of course it is possible. Probably harder in Pattaya than else where, but not impossible. Two points that may help. 1. Develop a "regular" routine. Shop at the same places, go to the same places about the same time of day. Smile at people (cashiers, service, etc), "practice" your thai..hi, how are you, nice day. etc. Not long conversations, just basic familiarity.....don't push, just be nice. as they get to know you, they wil be less "gun shy" so to speak. 2. Take up a hobby...one that might have thai's doing it as well. Sure there must be some..chat with the people that are there...get to know them..be a nice guy.. whatever..don't talk about the bar scene etc...just be a good, pleasant, well mannered (well dressed!!!) person...it *will* bring dividends, although slowly. The "seed" you plant today may bring benefits in six months or a year...but hey! thats the fun... The more "normal" your routine, the better the chances.. -j- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 23, 2001 Report Share Posted August 23, 2001 I can confirm that being polite can pay off. I recently met a Thai girl that was everything I could ask for. She's got a good job, 4 year college degree, and speaks good english. She's a petite girl of only 88 lbs., and looks about 22-23 years old despite her 30 years. Sweet as can be and will get upset if I even offer to pay her long distance bill when she calls. She works in a luxury item retail store and so runs into a lot of wealthy Farangs. I asked her why she never went out with one. Her answer: "because I never met one who was polite" So it does help if you are a "nice" guy. The American girl fascination with "bad boys" is not accepted very well here. It also helped a lot that I had some Thai friends who know me well to put in a good word. Make friends with some Thais. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 23, 2001 Report Share Posted August 23, 2001 Yes, I agree. To increase chances of developing a relationship with a "normal" Thai lady, it is essential to dress well, always be polite and friendly, and develop a regular routine, mix with the Thais, participate in the hobbies and things that they do. I will most surely follow that advice. But my dilemma is not just about Pattaya, rather the whole farang expat scene. I have lived in Pattaya this past six months, and went through a stormy bust-up with my long-term girlfriend (see earlier posts). The bar scene is great for tourists and expat newcomers. But for me it has lost its novelty factor. I have been there and done all that, and my eyes glaze over with the same old lies these whores spin and the tricks they try to pull on you. And I have seen Pattaya bring out the worst side of some expats that should know better. So is living in a Thai location where there are lots of farangs so important? Is it necessary at all? Perhaps it is even a handicap to forming a long-term relationship with a normal Thai girl? One big suprise here in Pattaya was the complete indifference and lack of interaction from *SOME* female staff at the banks and other female office workers. Many of them act like we farangs are invisible or the lowest scum on the face of this earth. Quite the opposite when you walk into a bank upcountry in some small, rural Thai town. In that situation, most of the female bank staff will crowd around and ask lots of questions, happy and curious to have a chance to talk with a farang. But living upcountry has its down side. No Bangkok Post every morning. In some places you won't get it till early evening, if at all. No soundtrack (English) movies at the local cinema, very few at the video rental store. No freshly ground coffee beans or sugar-free farang bread. No farangs to talk English with over a beer when day is done. And you certainly need to have at least a basic ability to speak and understand Thai. But then, if you are the only game in town -- the only local farang for the girls to practice their English on -- then perhaps there might just be some benefits that would balance out the disadvantages. But heck, I still cannot decide whether to move or stay!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 23, 2001 Report Share Posted August 23, 2001 “But living upcountry has its down side. No Bangkok Post every morning. In some places you won't get it till early evening, if at all. No soundtrack (English) movies at the local cinema, very few at the video rental store. No freshly ground coffee beans or sugar-free farang bread. No farangs to talk English with over a beer when day is done.” Well, TropicNights if you are looking for having a BKK Post every morning, English sound tracked movies, coffee beans and farang bread, you better consider keeping stay in the bigger places. There are lots of other places, where you can find all these needs, just in case you want to get out of Pattaya. In my wife’s home-town I was their once in the local supermarket and I saw a farang, appearing he was looking for something. Once he noticed me he came straight to me asking where he could find hamburgers. What to respond in such a situation. Anyway, to come back on your original post, there are for sure lots of good-hearted women all over the place, and it just matter that it clicks or it doesn’t. I cannot tell you whether to look for it in the offices, banks, hotels, beach or wherever you could meet some one. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaiHome Posted August 23, 2001 Report Share Posted August 23, 2001 quote: Originally posted by TropicNights: A normal girl from a normal family, not rich, but who doesn't have to support her parents. What makes you think that only BG's are taking helping to care of the parents? What makes you think that every girl from upcountry that helps with family is working in farang bar scene? That obligation is not a sign of flawed, or abnormal character as you make it out to be, but quite the opposite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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