Savittre Posted October 21, 2001 Report Share Posted October 21, 2001 Hi Guys, Damn!! I've read a lot of Stickman, he's a 'confirmed cynic', and has all the best reasons for being so, I've read posts like 'Bargirl Marriage Disaster', and worse... But even these guys admit that it's possible... for it to work, even though the odds are against it... Actually, p.5 of 'Bargirl Marriage Disaster' has a post by Kirky999 (July 18, 2001) saying he's been happily married to an x-BG for (over?) a year, meanwhile I had to note that Fatbastard had been co-habiting with a Thai girl for (I think) 8 years before marrying her, and within 9 months it was all over, and if he hadn't had the foresight to protect his assets, he'd really have been wiped out. OK. There's been plenty and plenty said about the dangers and pitfalls of getting involved with a Thai BG. Therefore, can we keep this thread clear of such warnings, and save it only for those who *have established and are maintaining successful relationships with these women* first and foremost, and also for those who are successfully working things out with Thai women generally, and hear their positive stories and advice about how they're doing so??? I can't even begin to guess how many (or few) replies this is going to get.... But whatever comes in will be interesting!!!! TIA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 21, 2001 Report Share Posted October 21, 2001 Savittre Why put yourselves at risk as non-BG are relative easily accessible. Yes I agree that there are many cases that relation with a B/G will work out and there are also unfortunate many cases that doesn’t work. Go for a non-BG and you have still enough others things to work out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daeng bireley Posted October 21, 2001 Report Share Posted October 21, 2001 Ive always believed that a relationship that starts out with the guy as a customer of a prostitute with some form of financial arrangement is doomed to failure, whether the financial side of the relationship changes or not. I dont think that is a cynical view. Lets face it so many guys are out there are looking for a relationship with one of these girls (looking for love)whether they are able to admit that to themselves or not. Short to medium term basis seems to work, longer term , marraige, taking the girl to a western country seems to fail in most cases When you look a little bit harder at the few so called successful relationships,often they are not as succesful as they look at first glance. Quite often together but not happy, cultural misunderstandings(in many cases read family), language, never being really able to communicate,creates arguments and disagreements a plenty. My view: a relationship with a bar girl or prostitute (who you were originally the customer of) is doomed to failure. [ October 21, 2001: Message edited by: daeng bireley ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bakkabon Posted October 21, 2001 Report Share Posted October 21, 2001 quote: Originally posted by HIGH THAIED: Well Savittre....so much for 'positive success stories' so far, huh! I'm afraid you may not get many of them. So here's my 2 baht: I'll only address the 'taking a Thai girl back home' issue. All that I have read, and seen, shows me one thing very clearly. If you are going to maintain a live-in/marriage, it must be done in Thailand. Why? Simple. Two major aspects of a woman...looks, and personality. There is the outside, and then there is the inside. Ask yourself what makes a Thai girl so special. Pretty? Yea. But there are pretty women elsewere. Personality...you got it, my friend. This is the true attraction for most of us. The small percentage of the rest of us are only concerned about a cheap lay, and if it were cheaper in Anartica, that is were you would find those guys now, instead of LOS. So what gives a Thai girl her personality? Culture. Thai culture. I'm not going to go into what is so great about a Thai girl's cultural personality, because I believe you know what I'm talking about. The problem lies in taking her out of her culture, and thrusting her into yours. Know what you'll have in 2-3 years? The same thing your laying next to every night right now, only prettier! But a relationship is not built on looks. It can't endure the test of time. Never will. You put me in Siberia in a shack in the middle of nowhere, and I'm not going to be the relative happy camper I am now. Same, same. **A Thai girl is only a Thai girl when in Thailand.** Live by that last sentence, and you will have some hope for a measured degree of success. If you go against that law of reason, you can forever more not say that someone never told you of this. OK...that turned out to be around 4 baht's worth. You owe me 2 baht. ohh well this would explain why I have 3 friends in Australia married to Thais for over 15 years each and the girls dont want to go back even for a holiday!! mind you they dont have any family in thailand. But remmember dont generalise treat each case seperatly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSTEACH Posted October 21, 2001 Report Share Posted October 21, 2001 I'm afraid this is not an affirmative answer like you requested. As the "fool" from the bargirl marriage diaster, all I can really say is good luck with a bargirl. Jeeze, you will really need it to succeed in the long run. I totally agree with a previous poster about nonbar girls. IF you are determined to succeed with a Thai woman in your own country, the non pro is the way to go. I have many friends married to Thais in the US and all are happy. NONE were bargirls. I tried and failed with a bargirl, my mistake, big lesson learned. I sure don't want to see anyone else get screwed like I did, but everybody thinks their's is different, their bargirl GF isn't like all the rest. As Hono put it many moons ago, "there are roses amongst the thorns", but finding that rose is a damn hard job. With apologies to those that have found the "rose', I'm afraid those "roses" are few and far between. Find you a "good girl" and you'll have a MUCH better chance of happiness in the long run. My 6 satang worth........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 21, 2001 Report Share Posted October 21, 2001 Bakkabon, The fact they don't have family in LOS makes ALL the difference in the world. How Thai's value their family is well know on this board. I, in fact, have a friend here in USA that will never go back. She hates certain social issues back home, and has never gone back for 17 years, and she *does* have family there. I'm not saying having a successful relationship outside of Thailand won't/can't happen. I'm simply explaining why I believe that the odds are against you. I saw it again last time I was back in LOS. My friend barfined a girl from Bubbles who lived for 4 years in USA with farang husband. After spending half a day with her, she was having some serious attitude problems. If she didn't get what she wanted, or all of us do what she wanted, she pouted, or got very angry. No 'up to you' with a smile, from this girl. I don't think she learned that growing up in Surin! Sorry, but I've seen/heard enough to believe that a very large percentage of these girls become 'westernized', complete with attitude, in very short order. In several years, you will be living with something other than what you brought over. Just my take, I'm sure many will disagree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gregchambers Posted October 22, 2001 Report Share Posted October 22, 2001 Some girls marry farang just so they can go abroad to make lots of money. Bar girls are probably okay as long as they haven't worked too long - 48 hours? Bad attitude, young Thai girls, esp Buriram for some reason, alreay have it without ever setting foot out of the country. The more money you give a girl the greater contempt she holds you in, so you have to hold out for a proper relationship from the beginning. 90 percent of Thai girls immediately undergo an attitude change as soon as they get married, judging from the complaints I hear! Definitely, hide your assets, appearing poor(ish) from the beginning a good idea! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 22, 2001 Report Share Posted October 22, 2001 quote: Originally posted by greg: The more money you give a girl the greater contempt she holds you in, This makes sense to me,it even seems that some toughness is often required to get respect.I noticed that the guys too cool with the girls kind of get eaten alive.I've seen many guys drowning in despair for girls who were laughing at them.In these situation I think the guys deserve that contempt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 22, 2001 Report Share Posted October 22, 2001 Well Savittre....so much for 'positive success stories' so far, huh! I'm afraid you may not get many of them. So here's my 2 baht: I'll only address the 'taking a Thai girl back home' issue. All that I have read, and seen, shows me one thing very clearly. If you are going to maintain a live-in/marriage, it must be done in Thailand. Why? Simple. Two major aspects of a woman...looks, and personality. There is the outside, and then there is the inside. Ask yourself what makes a Thai girl so special. Pretty? Yea. But there are pretty women elsewere. Personality...you got it, my friend. This is the true attraction for most of us. The small percentage of the rest of us are only concerned about a cheap lay, and if it were cheaper in Anartica, that is were you would find those guys now, instead of LOS. So what gives a Thai girl her personality? Culture. Thai culture. I'm not going to go into what is so great about a Thai girl's cultural personality, because I believe you know what I'm talking about. The problem lies in taking her out of her culture, and thrusting her into yours. Know what you'll have in 2-3 years? The same thing your laying next to every night right now, only prettier! But a relationship is not built on looks. It can't endure the test of time. Never will. You put me in Siberia in a shack in the middle of nowhere, and I'm not going to be the relative happy camper I am now. Same, same. **A Thai girl is only a Thai girl when in Thailand.** Live by that last sentence, and you will have some hope for a measured degree of success. If you go against that law of reason, you can forever more not say that someone never told you of this. OK...that turned out to be around 4 baht's worth. You owe me 2 baht. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 22, 2001 Report Share Posted October 22, 2001 I don't thing you're going to get many success stories here. Guys that have successful long-term relationships with thai women, bar-girls or not, are not all that likely to be frequent readers or posters. Though I'm sure there are some that still like to butterfly! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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