Asking for $$$$$

[Guest]

When Im in Thailand I see the same friends usually . I dont get hit up for money too often and always get nice emails from the girls and occasionally call them and surprise them. They cannot figure out why I am so nice to them and yet they dont hit me up for money with the usual stories. So I dont know . If they want to learn ebglish or computer I will help with school or fix their teeth, but I always pick the school or dentist and pay him directly for services.

[ February 28, 2002: Message edited by: Serious Sanuk ]

[Sweet mouth]

For what it's worth, here is my experience on the subject of asking for $$$.

Before I went for my 2 months annual sanuk break last summer, I hade made friend with a few Thai ladies on Bkk-chat.

3 out of the 4 contacts I had I never met: one's father was sick; another one had to be out of the country; and the third could not find a friend to accompany her and she would not meet me alone.

The one who kept her promise greeted me with flowers at the airport, accompanied by a lady friend of hers. She has a masters degree in psychology and teaches at Kohn Kaen University; she showed me a picture where the King hands her the diploma. She is the daughter of a rice farmer, divorced with a 12 yo daughter who stays with her father on weekdays. She's 37, has a nice face, but she's slightly overweight.

So after checking me into the hotel, the three of us went out to dinner. Communication was a little difficult at first, mainly because all "r"s transformed into "l"s, but I got used to it. After dinner she wanted to show her house, which she owns, but decides to "dump the lady friend before".

The house has 2 stories, built like a fortress; I understand the neighborhood is not too safe after dark. She leaves the car in the very narrow street (more like a back alley). I mention to her that she could get hit by an incoming car but she says: mai pen lai.

So we enter the house and she shows me around. Then we sit and chat a little and BANG. A passing pickup truck has rammed in the back of her car and pushed it against the concrete wall; and the truck disappears in the night. She yells, she cries, she's frantic but she won't call the police saying they charge 1,500 bahts just to file a report.

Upon close inspection, other than a few scratches and a broken tail light, the car seems ok and no damage to the house.

She takes me back to my hotel and I agree to go with her next morning for the repairs.

When she arrives next morning, I suggest we go to her car dealer and get an estimate before committing to anything... She instead wants to go someplace where she'll get a good price on used parts. When we get there the guy isn't there so we wait ... and wait ... and wait for more than 2 hours in the 40'+ heat. Finally the guy arrives, he can't find a used tail light but can get a new one for 3,500 bahts. Bottom line, after almost 4 hours wait, the price is 4,200 baths.

That's when she takes me apart and tells me she's poor and doesn't have the money to pay... so I say I can lend you the money, "you pay me back when you go to the bank". She takes the money, pays the guy and off we go. Now she's telling me she is very poor and doesn't have the money in the bank to repay me.

This was my 3rd time in Thailand and I thought I would meet Thai people, totally outside the sanuk world, learn about real life with real Thai people. And here I am, screwed for 4Gs within the first 24 hours.

The thought crossed my mind to skip town right there and then. But I decided to stay and see what would come next. So for the next few days, she showed me around to all her friends and the ones she could not show me to, she would call them on her cell phone and have them talk to me in their very limited english. As expected not once did she offer to pay for anything; when she cooked at home, she made sure to take me with her to buy groceries for a week. When we went to a restaurant, she would bring friends who couldn't speak a word of english. I also filled the gas tank to the rim, bought some things for the house, etc...

After 3 more days of this I couldn't stand it anymore and announced my decision to return to Bkk. That's when she decided it was time for the "you have to help me find work in Canada, and I'll stay with you until I find a job" talk.

The last night she offered that I could sleep in her guest room, after I told her my time in Kohn Kaen had busted my budget. Next morning she asked me for money to pay for electricity because I had used the air conditionning all night.

I had come to learn about real Thai people; what I found was this educated, mean and greedy lady that I'm sure doesn't represent her people well. A lot more greedy in fact than most BGs I ever met, and no sanuk.

So I returned to Bkk and my favorite water holes, disgusted and horny like hell.

After a few days in Bkk, I moved to Pattaya and spent a delightfull month with this beautifull, nice, sweet and as horny as me BG.

Sm

[Guest]

This confirms my own point of view that a large proportion of Thais who express an interest in some kind of relationship with a farang do so purely hoping for financial gain.For some reason most Thais believe all farangs are extremely rich,and often they wont believe you when you try to deny this.Ive just got back from a 3 month stay in los and have come to the (regretable ) conclusion that it pays to be very cautious about anyone who approaches you first-most genuine Thais are shy of farangs and leave them alone,this just leaves the con artists.Hope Im not becoming an old cynic.

[Guest]

Hi Mark,

 

 

 

Any Thai who approaches you in Thailand you must be careful of, that is very well documented. In fact, you could apply this to most nations as most people don't go up to a stranger and start asking questions etc.....

 

 

 

Secondly. I don't see why this is a regrettable conclusion? You should be cautious of strangers.

 

 

 

Sanukboot.

[Guest]

Sweet Mouth,

 

 

 

I am surprised on 2 fronts...No pun intended.....

 

 

 

1> You paid the money for the light, when you know she has the money!

 

 

 

2> After being taken for a sucker you stay for an additional 3 days.....

 

 

 

Anyway, glad to hear you finished the trip well.

 

 

 

Sanukboot.

 

 

 

 

[KhunJack]

I agree with Internet shop service...my current gf even doesn't go to the internet shop...just calls via her mobile..tells the Internet shop lady in Thai ..vola...my previous gf has now an internet shop in Phuket ... she just told me that this brings the money...kiang goh hok...

[Guest]

COuld we conclude that at times (most), the internet shop and other auxilliary (pimp, mamasan) are the ones who teach the girls the real bad money sucking tricks in the end?

 

 

 

[Guest]

In reply to ... "Could we conclude that at times (most), the internet shop and other auxilliary (pimp, mamasan) are the ones who teach the girls the real bad money sucking tricks in the end?"

 

 

 

Everyone has to learn somewhere. A sweet, shy newbie to the scene can easily be turned into a money sucking con-artist in no time. This is not always the case but does occur frequently. The source of the "teaching" varies, but is more often than not other BGs and freelancers they see living it up with seemingly great wealth. Wealth and experience can earn them a place higher up on the status ladder and the "richer" girls will often be heard and believed by the new girls. The internet cafes involved in offering services to assist with the scams are simply providing a needed service. Supply has to meet demand.

 

 

[walletss]

IMHO. If they have a natural flair for creative business they learn from observation. There are many bargirls getting regular monthly stipends from foreigners overseas that believe they have a genuine and exclusive relationship going. Some of the best operators might be getting money from several guys at once. Have a look at the upmarket shopping areas like Emporium. Lots of girls there spending up on quality items that they would not be able to afford unless they had the monthly payout.

[cardinalblue]

Some good points well-taken. Let me ask you guys a serious question. Why would a thai woman who is financially secure (meaning at least has a job and is paying her bills) be at all interested in falangs other than securing things that her wages would not be able to afford ?

 

 

 

I have come to the conclsion that i will be financially paying for a long-term relationship which I have no problem with. I expect to take care of her. What it really gets down to is the character of the person and how she interacts with you. Does she respect you, love you, attentive, pull her fair share in the relationship other than finanancially, make good decisions in YOUR best interest, etc.

 

 

 

It is pathetic how thai people who you recently meet hit you up for money in some fashion. In some regards, there is no difference between BGs and others thai mainstreamers unless you want to say at least the BGs are more direct and are giving something in return. Baby, it all gets down to character of the person and i will tell you it really is a crap shoot. Unfortunately, with thailand having so many poor people, the need/desire to have money compromises many thai peoples' values and integrity. You are seen as nothing more than a walking ATM instead of a person. I am much more on my guard here than back in the States where basically in my social circle it would be an embarrassment to ask or show a need for financial assistance. I don't think pride or respect enter into it here because you are seen as a rich foreigner and no connection or understanding of you as a human being. The need or want of money just completely dominates and really destroys any chance for a meaningful relationship other than in special circumstances or special people.

 

 

 

Cardinalblue