Foodland Cuisine and Breakfast

[JCK]

I don’t know about you but I get a bit bored of healthy All-Bran for breakfast every day. For many months I’d promised myself that I would drag my lazy ass out of bed before 9am and try my first ever Foodland breakfast.

I was already a frequent diner at the Sukhumwit Foodland. The food is OK and cheap but the seating arrangement is without doubt the world’s biggest pile of pants. This coupled with the odd behaviour of other customers means that I usually wolf down my grub and get the hell out. Just a few examples of Foodland dining etiquette are:

- Abstain from soap, water or deodorant for several days prior to visiting Foodland.

- Look tough.

- Never look at your food whilst eating. Instead, stare at the food of the strangers on either side by moving your head back and forth like you are watching f---ing Agassi rather than eating!

- Look like you are going to hit someone.

- Even though there are a row of 27 empty chairs, sit in the tiniest of spaces, preferably between two fat barstads.

- Look tough.

On my many previous visits, I noticed the American Breakfast on the menu (wish they’d clean up the spillages occasionally). I didn’t read it too carefully but I thought it said, “Toast, tea or coffee, bacon, eggs, sausages, pineapple and something else all for only 30 bath”.

So, last week, I expectantly wandered into Foodland famished at about 10-ish and ordered my big 55 baht "it's after 9am you lazy barstad" brekky.

The tea arrived. Two pieces of toast arrived. The American tourist sitting next to me was already looking on enviously and drooling as he munched on his fried rice. I couldn’t wait to see Timmy Tourist’s face when my huge plate of eggs, bacon, sausages followed by endless top-ups of tea and toast was plonked before me. Then, what I assumed to be the starter was presented – one bacon rasher and a scrambled egg. This was of course the main course – bugger. It was very nice indeed but no matter how many minute pieces I cut the bacon into and how much I chewed each piece, I scoffed the lot in about 15 seconds flat. My American spectator was still only halfway through his rice.

I thought of ordering a second or even third brekky. However, the American’s smug grin was saying, “Your breakfast was completely crap and mine IS much better” so, to salvage some dignity, I didn’t. I promptly paid the bill and, just for effect, left walking slowly like you do after a huge meal.

Actually, for 30 Baht (55 after 9am), the Foodland Breakfast is a good deal. Many of the morning customers are tourists from the nearby Sukhumwit hotels which apparently serve far inferior breakfasts. If you go for a few days, you notice the same tourists every day. They usually start the week ordering a breakfast of noodles or rice just to experience the True Thailand. However, it’s quite amusing to see them soon reverting to the American brekky after a few days – rice for brekky, no thanks!

Happy eating!

p.s. Foodland have a “corkage” charge of 20 baht for beer, which is fair enough. They also have a 100 baht corkage charge for wines, spirits and………champagne. If anyone claims to have seen champagne being drunk at Foodland, I will eat my hat!

[Guest]

LOL! I will never eat there again. I got dragged there a couple of times by a friend who liked the breakfast deal. It was defintely the worst meal I had in Thailand or Cambodia and to have the two Jap blokes look on and comment about the condiments I was adding to my Pad Thai, well, enough is enough.

[Guest]

JCK,

I have walked in Foodland for a late morning breakfast or early lunch for a change of pace. I stay on Soi 3, so its just a few minutes walk. Once I can drag the chair back and sit and get it back up to the counter I'm fine. The next big chore is getting out by pushing back the chair while still sitting in it. If they put roller on the chairs, it would improve the dinning experience. With rollers you could move your fellow eaters on each side of you when they weren't looking, to give yourself a little more room.

[Palatkik]

quote:

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Originally posted by JCK:

Just a few examples of Foodland dining etiquette are:

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I think you should narrow it down more to Foodland Sukhumvit Soi 5 branch dining etiquette. It's not really a Foodland thing, more the people who hang out in this area. Foodland Ramkamheang or Srinakarind branches for example can be an altogether more civilised experience. I even had a pleasant breakfast at the Pattaya branch once!

Cheers,

[JCK]

Fair point. I’ve eaten at the Ramintra Foodland and it was nearly a pleasure. It’s a long way to go for my morning rasher of bacon though. There’s also a Foodland at Patpong. I shudder to think of the goings-on if there is a restaurant inside.

In my etiquette section, I forgot to mention impressing your bargirl by inviting her to dine with you. Jeez have I heard some BS from the girls and more usually the guys. I recently eavesdropped two people discussing a power station project. It fascinated me but I’m not sure it’s a suitable topic to kick off a night of passion with number 37 from PlaySkool.