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Pattaya Survival Guide


Khun_Kong

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Lifted from a reader's comments at the bottom of this artcle from Pattaya Daily News

 

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Comment No.2

 

How to prepare yourself for a Pattaya holiday:

 

1. Learn to swim

2. Get a parachute if you are staying in a high-rise building

3. Carry a big stick with you at all times in case British hooligan attacks

4. Dont wear gold chains

5. Dont drive big motor bikes

6. Never ever give your passport as a deposit

7. Dont listen to bullshit stories (mama sick, buffalo had accident)

8. Dont buy property or a bar bussiness in Pattaya

9. Dont visit tourist attractions - all of them have double price systems

10. Dont stay with Russians/French-Marocco/Arabs in the same hotel - trouble makers!

11. Avoid working girls with tatooes - troublemakers!

12. Dont carry more than 500 Baht in your pocket!

13. If you walk or drive: look right/left/up/down at all times

14. Dont use your credit card

15. Dont leave any valuables in your hotel room

16. Dont use hotel safes

17. Dont stay overnight with bar girls

18. If you see Russian prostitutes: call the tourist police

19. Dont go to Pattaya if you are a woman from the west: All western man will hate you!

20. If you like to look stupid: go hand-in-hand with a bargirl!

21. Dont pay with big bills in bars!

22. Dont take girls out of a bar if you are drunk!

23. Dont take girls with a lot of gold: ripp-off artists!

23. Dont believe anything!

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Maybe Pattaya's better left to those who still tend to run with scissors, ignore that objects in mirror are closer than they appear, and suspect that the cancer warnings on cigarettes are just a ploy by the chewing gum companies. Dumb folks like me.

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