Guest Posted October 15, 2001 Report Share Posted October 15, 2001 Hi all, Just got bad news from my girlfriend that her grandmother died today. Lucky she went up there yesterday as her grandmother was very sick and saw her alive. She asked me to come up there (Khon Kaen) on Friday night, she said it was important for her that I came. Can anyone enlighten me as to what is done when someone dies here, what would be expected of me, is money expected, what else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanchao Posted October 15, 2001 Report Share Posted October 15, 2001 Funerals are actually very interesting in Thailand. They're 'parties' (for lack of a better word) that can span several days, and food and liquor will be provided. All of this of course costs money (not to mention that the monks who will perform the ceremony will have to be given a bunch of stuff), so people attending the funeral put an amount of money (up to you) in an envelope to donate to the family. 1000 baht sounds like a good amount, considering you're fairly close to the deceased and considering your general status. Seriously it can be any amount you can spare. Very similar to a wedding party really. Then there is the actual cremation ceremony and the merit making ceremony and all that. Go for it. Cheers, Chanchao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 15, 2001 Report Share Posted October 15, 2001 quote: Originally posted by Chanchao: Funerals are actually very interesting in Thailand. They're 'parties' (for lack of a better word) that can span several days, and food and liquor will be provided. .... Chanchao, Thanks for the response. "Party"....is this like a "happy" party?....or is there crying and all that stuff....my girlfriend seemed very upset and it was obvious that she had just been crying. Sorry I am being specific, it's just that I want to be prepared for what's waiting for me. Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanchao Posted October 15, 2001 Report Share Posted October 15, 2001 Well, sure there will be some tears, but there will be some smiles, as well as plenty of time for reflection. Especially as it's an older person passing away (or moving on) because of natural causes, it won't be as depressing as most Western funerals you've attended. The Thai funerals where the deceased is a 24 year old father, husband and bread winner who died in a traffic crash can be less mellow, but this seems to be just nature having it's way. So, it will not be a "happy" party although some get really close at times. I've mistaken funerals for regular parties at times, only to find out during the second glass of whiskey I was offered what the occaision was. (Imagine crashing someone's funeral-party Taking pictures is usually encouraged, so bring your camera. Everyone attending (especially the women) will have a job preparing food, garlands and other stuff used at the ceremony. You would still dress in dark colors, not necessarily something black and overly formal though. Just any non-festive dark colored shirt and long pants will do. Ask your gf how many days she expects you to be there, and if you will stay at her parents/family's house or not. Cheers, Chanchao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 15, 2001 Report Share Posted October 15, 2001 quote: Originally posted by Chanchao: .... Ask your gf how many days she expects you to be there, and if you will stay at her parents/family's house or not. Cheers, Chanchao Thanks i really appreciate your feedback. I'll be there from Friday night until Sun night and will be staying at her mothers house which is practically accross the street from her grandmothers. Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deadman Posted October 16, 2001 Report Share Posted October 16, 2001 bey I've been to a few, all I can say is watch real carefully what your GF and everyone else does. I made a slight blunder last time, it seemed everyone was prostrating 3 times just like at any Wat, but in case of funeral you don't actually bring your hands up for a full wai, or something like that. Whatever happens it's no big drama, being farangs everyone expects us to be big bumbling oafs. cheers dm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 16, 2001 Report Share Posted October 16, 2001 reminds me of a funeral ( or so I thought I was being invited to a funeral) It was in Sakon nakon. realy creepy deal at first when they actually dug the guy up ( looked like he was preserved in salt or something) sat him at the table with us, even had ppl pose with him for pictures) not so creepy ( after several drinks for me though) just kind of a Weird party, by my standards anyway. but still can see it all as it happened. anyone else been there/done that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shygye Posted October 16, 2001 Report Share Posted October 16, 2001 Remember first Thai rule: Falang always pays for EVERYTHING! So be prepared to pay BIG baht for the funeral of someone you have never MET. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 16, 2001 Report Share Posted October 16, 2001 Yeh! interesting how it seems to work out that way. also, I noticed ( in sakon nakon agin) that when I said I would take everone out to dinner. ( meaning about 7 ppl there with me) by the time we got to the restraunt, ( street cafe with rellay good steak,, claim to fame is the Queen eats there) the number had swelled to about 19 ppl. Still, in the spirit of it all, it was a nice time, and a big deal for the kids that came along. ( most ate like there was no tomorrow) I think I even saw some of the bones get chewed up. got a good laff at the expense of one little girl too. everyone had plates with a flower design around the edges, but hers was just a white plate. when she was done eating, I mentioned she was so hungry she even ate the flowers off the plate. Pretty funny stuff. ( good thing it was not one of the grown men, it may not have gone over as well) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 16, 2001 Report Share Posted October 16, 2001 Hello All - I've been to 2 Thai funerals, which I found quite different from the somber and creepy style favored by the west. Provided the corpse is fit for viewing, everyone goes up and prays and says a few words to the deceased. I noticed that many objects favored by the departed are put into the coffin. Cash is rolled up and put inside the hands, along with incense, playing cards, etc. Amazing. The ceremony is also quite interesting. The speakers don't spend alot of time saying all nice things about the deceased, but tell the audience about the person's life, their accomplishments and so forth. Everyone goes back to the temple after that, where a huge amount of food and drink awaits. We even had live band play one time. I also think this is not in any way disrespectful to the departed. Rather, people are celebrating their going to heaven. After attending the Thai funerals, I became determined to have mine done the same way. And the bigger the party the better! The best food, drink, and music. Western funerals are too creepy and depressing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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