Guest Posted March 19, 2002 Report Share Posted March 19, 2002 I have found interesting reading in some of these posts, just read the communication one and agree with most of that! i am also on my second non BG girlfriend and have been with her for four months (very happily). My question is do you ever really know any more than they want to tell you? I am a little wary after hearing so many horror stories about relationships gone sour in the 3 years i have lived here. We get on very well and my thai is good enough not to cause a communication breakdown however when certain questions about background or family come up i get silence or a subject change. has anyone else had this? am i worrying too early? is she just being cautious because its so early in the relationship? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 19, 2002 Report Share Posted March 19, 2002 Post deleted by DoxyBlue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sinsin2 Posted March 20, 2002 Report Share Posted March 20, 2002 "Once you've gained her trust, you will instead get a slightly or grossly different answer each time. Whether that's an improvement depends on your point of view. " That has to be the best description of a Falang/Thai relationship that I have heard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 20, 2002 Report Share Posted March 20, 2002 yep, i guess we just have to roll with it, live in blissful ignorace and stop thinking about all the other shit that we're not being told about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 20, 2002 Report Share Posted March 20, 2002 "Do you ever really know?" No. And neither does she. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 21, 2002 Report Share Posted March 21, 2002 At the beginning I thought exactly the same. My first Thai GF (5 years) seemed to have all kind of secrets about her family and also didn't like to speak about her feelings. I usually heard the same phrases on and on, never got really into her mind. Though at that time I couldn't speak any Thai we had no communication problem,because she was fluent in my mother tongue. Over the years I discovered that Thais seem to dislike talking about their personal stuff. It makes them vulnerable. Secondly Thais seem to have a sixt sense for feelings. They look at you and can usually tell you how you feel, so there is no real need for asking 'how are you?'. Furthermore I observed that Thais wouldn't even discuss personal problems with their best friends or family, again: you mention a problem you prove yourself weak. Another reason not telling a friend is that a Thai feels uncomfortable when dealing with a friend's problem and doesn't want to give advice. After knowing Thais living in LOS and Europe I would say it takes a little bit more time and a different approach. It's sort of a mixed Thai and Falang approach: you still are curious and ask those background questions, but certainly more in a Thai way. Once your Thai partner gets used to it you hopefully get your answers. My present GF lived half of her life in Europe, while I lived in Thailand for the past 3 years (went back end of last year) and we both have mixed cultures now. My favourite nickname for her is falang. I call her this whenever I would do (or say) it the Thai way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 22, 2002 Report Share Posted March 22, 2002 One thing I've noticed in two relationships with Thai women is that they don't seem interested in my past, it almost seems they'd rather not know. They don't ask, and when I volunteer info they don't pry further. Whereas I think a typical farang wants to know about their partners past as a way of understanding who the person is now. Anybody experiece this too, understand it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 22, 2002 Report Share Posted March 22, 2002 A big part of it is that many of them don't have a way of relating to your past experiences. E.g. where you went to school, previous jobs, places you've travelled .... Your most fascinating stories and experiences, the ones that win over farang women, are completely ineffective when chatting up Thai girls. E.g. when you just missed getting a bronze medal in Nagano, or when you put out that big oil fire with Red Adair. It's also seems that it's considered a bit pushy for a Thai girl to be too aggressive and inquisitive in a relationship; maybe Thai men have a lot to hide A "good" girl would be much more passive until the relationship got much further; then watch out. Or it could just be you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 22, 2002 Report Share Posted March 22, 2002 i tend to agree with this one, but waiting a little further then watching out is what i'm trying to avoid! i guess asking her after drinking a bottle of sang som wasnt a good idea either ... doh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
racha Posted March 22, 2002 Report Share Posted March 22, 2002 My vote for Quote of the week, A "good" girl would be much more passive until the relationship got much further; then watch out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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