How Often Do Bar Girls Insult You, Con't

[Savittre]

Hi Guys,

 

Well, I don't know what you're gonna think about this one, but here goes anyway.

 

 

 

I'm in Pattaya, I pass a go-go bar I've never been in before, and am invited to go in and check it out. I do.

 

 

 

It's a small place, 3 girls are all the stage has room for, and there's maybe 2 others waiting to take their turn dancing. There's one other customer, so with me there that makes 2.

 

 

 

One of the girls on stage starts making body language at me like I should be wearing a smile. (Haven't we all been through this?) Although I know what's up, I approach the stage to ask what's going on. One of the other dancers translates 'She says you're not smiling. You should smile,' or words to that effect. I give my standard answer, which was what I approached the stage to do anyway-

 

 

 

Tell her I need a good lady to make me smile!!

 

 

 

Usually my answer is responded to with a smile and a nod, but this time, the girl who had initiated the 'you're not smiling' bit looked at me like I had rocks in my head. I was surprised when she came to sit with me when her dance shift ended, and the conversation consisted of the standard Q & A- What's you're name, where you come from, etc.

 

 

 

Then, another farang entered the bar. The girl sitting with me said to me 'I want to kill you' and rushed off to pounce on and sit with the farang who had just entered the bar.

 

 

 

I knew the girls on stage had seen all this, and a couple of times I pointed my thumb in the direction of the girl who'd been sitting with me, gave the palms up gesture and a puzzled expression as if to say 'what gives with her?' And, to the credit of the girls on stage, one of them indicated through body language that she'd be with me when her shift ended.

 

 

 

But, OK, I'll admit it- I was annoyed by the way I'd been treated- in this case I don't see myself as having done one single thing wrong- and also I had a list of bars I planned to hit that night, and chose to move on.

 

 

 

Another reason I had for moving on was that if any management had observed the girl's behavior toward me, and seen my subsequent departure, management may not feel pleased about the girl. I mean, if I were a go-go bar owner, I'd want my girls to be pulling the guys into my bar, and getting them to stay and spend as much money as possible in my place, not behaving in a way that makes them pay and go.

 

 

 

In a situation like this, often alcohol is a factor. Not this time, I hadn't had anything stronger than Fanta for at least a week prior to this, and that includes the day I went into that go-go. I couldn't have been more sober. As far as I could tell, the girl didn't seem drunk or buzzed, either.

 

 

 

I was there about 9:30 pm, feeling more tired than I usually do for that hour, but too early to call it a night.

 

 

 

I left that bar feeling worse than I had when I went in. (yeah, yeah, boo hoo hoo for me ) I'd go back there, but don't feel the need to rush.

 

 

 

But my reason for posting this is, I read the other, fairly recent thread re: 'How Often Do BG's Insult You', and came to the conclusion that most of you feel the BG's are a pretty courteous, polite bunch. I don't feel that matches up too well to how I was treated, though. So what gives?

 

 

 

I'm really curious about what kind of answers this one's gonna get, and thanks in advance for them.

[Guest]

Post deleted by DoxyBlue

[Savittre]

Hi, db_sed_aloha

 

 

 

To quote you- '"I want to kill you". Hmmm. Sure you didn't mishear?

 

 

 

Yeah, I'm quite sure what she said. Believe me, I wouldn't go and post this if I had any reasonable doubt! She was sitting right next to me when she said it.

 

 

 

 

 

To quote you- 'And, hey, if the other dancers had to translate for you, are you sure she knew what she was saying?'

 

 

 

The other dancer just translated the 'You should smile' message, which had been made obvious through body language anyway.

 

 

 

And you say- So, wanna name the venue? Did you actually make an effort to contact management?

 

 

 

The go-go is on Soi 7, very near Beach Road. And, no, I didn't try to contact management. I didn't think it was that big a deal, so I just took my wallet and moved on to the next place on my list.

 

 

 

And as you say- The sad fact is, there's no reason in the world that mgmt should care -- you're just one guy and in their view, who cares? There'll always be another punter.

 

 

 

Yes, db_sed_aloha, I agree with you 100% in this. Besides what has been posted so far, sometimes I wonder how much crap go-go bar management feel like they put up with from the girls....

 

 

[shygye]

I don't thing what happened to you even rates a post. No checkbin problems, no asking for tip/taxi money. Hey, I have had girls do the old Bangkok sip-n-slide on me. No big deal. It actually saves me money because I find out quick which girls have bad attitudes. 90% of the time I have a good time at the bars. The other 10% is not THAT bad.

[Guest]

I don't think this qualifies as an insult or even outrageously rude behavior (for a gogo or beer bar). Certainly it was tactless, probably clueless, and definitely not productive for anybody. Chalk it up to the girl being not too bright, or burned out/jaded in some way.

 

 

 

But the bar owners do care. Even if you don't ever come back (nor discourage others) they lost the cost of another drink, perhaps several and maybe a BF. The other girls care because this idiot forced you to leave and made them potentially lose money. If there were dozens in the bar it may not have been a big deal, but with only 2 or 3 the other girls certainly noticed what happened (and the manager/owner should have too). I don't think a girl like that will remain popular at the bar for too long.

[Savittre]

Hi shygye,

 

As you say 'I don't thing what happened to you even rates a post. '

 

 

 

Fair enough- actually I wouldn't have bothered, it was just that I read such a lot of complimentary things about BG behavior in the other post it got me to wondering about this thing that happened to me. If not for the other post, I wouldn't have posted this.

[Savittre]

Hi FarangDang,

 

As you say 'I don't think this qualifies as an insult or even outrageously rude behavior (for a gogo or beer bar). Certainly it was tactless, probably clueless, and definitely not productive for anybody. Chalk it up to the girl being not too bright, or burned out/jaded in some way.'

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, you'll note I haven't labelled her behavior as insulting or abusive or anything else. She was just being an idiot.

 

 

 

 

 

And you say 'But the bar owners do care. Even if you don't ever come back (nor discourage others) they lost the cost of another drink, perhaps several and maybe a BF. The other girls care because this idiot forced you to leave and made them potentially lose money.'

 

 

 

Well, on this particular night, I could definitely have- 1. Spent a lot more time (and money) in that bar. 2. Left a tip. 3. Barfined one of the ladies, had she been up for it. 4. Made the place one of my favorite hangouts. But none of those things happened. Sometimes, I'm too thin skinned for my own good (not good for me!) but geez! If only the lady had said something funny, or charming, or nice, or took me into her confidence, seeking my opinion....

 

 

 

Today, too, a girl said 'I want to kill you' to me. But I know this lady from a few times before, and she said it jokingly (we usually do joke around) so I just laughed and said 'good! I want to die', so you'll note she didn't say it in a rather nasty way, nor did she rush off and leave me on my own. So, it's different.

 

 

 

Lastly, yeah, in Pattaya some bars are quite prosperous, with lots of punters on hand, while others seem to be struggling. This bar seems to be in the latter category.

 

 

 

 

[Guest]

[color:blue]Today, too, a girl said 'I want to kill you' to me. But I know this lady from a few times before, and she said it jokingly (we usually do joke around) so I just laughed and said 'good! I want to die', so you'll note she didn't say it in a rather nasty way, nor did she rush off and leave me on my own. So, it's different.color=blue>

 

 

 

I meant to say something on this, but apparently didn't. I've heard the "I want to" or "I'm going to" "kill you" thing several times (although never directed at me). I assume the Thai language equivalent is common and not meant to be taken too seriously. However, when I've heard this from a girl I was interested in, I had second (and third) thoughts about taking her out of the bar. That kind of fire (jai rawn) is exciting, but dangerous.

 

 

 

In any case, saying this to someone you don't know at all (and who might take it the wrong way) is very uncool.

[Savittre]

Well, how about this one: Again, I'm sober, in Pattaya, on my own, but decide to pop into Pump Station for an orange juice and watch the movie on TV before calling it a night.

 

 

 

I asked for orange juice in English and Thai, and what shows up? A Fanta. I asked why I got Fanta, and the girl's face immediately showed annoyance/irritation. She said something like- I asked you if you wanted Fanta, and you said yes- then she went off to get my orange juice, and she's pissed off. So I think, what the hell, and get over to her quick and say 'Hey, no problem, I'm happy to have the Fanta' (after all, this is no big deal, I'm just trying to smooth things over).

 

 

 

So I sit down to watch the movie, and get poked in the back 3 times. I turn around to see who it is, it's the girl who had served me. But she's not looking at me, or smiling or anything. She's looking in the opposite direction, so what I see is the back of her head. I go back to watching my movie, but she repeats this nonsense 3 times. I figure, OK, time to change my seat. With no hesitation, the girl moves too, sitting behind me again, and starts poking me in the back again.

 

 

 

I'd had enough of it. I got her attention and said- I don't like you! (perhaps a bit harsh on my part, but what's done is done, plus, all I'd done was try to be cool to her).

 

 

 

Then, I'm leaving. A BJ girl said to me 'Hey, you said you'd go upstairs with me today, and you didn't.' It's true we had had a conversation about that, but I told her -I said 'No, I said maybe I'd go upstairs with you today. But now I'm tired, and I want to go sleep'. I turn in the direction of my Guest House, and she gives me a kick in the ass. Not a hard one, it didn't hurt, but a kick in the ass all the same.

 

 

 

 

 

So much for having an -orange juice- at Pump Station before bed!!

 

 

 

Now, I did talk to the mamasan about this the next day. I basically asked her if indulging in a BJ was required if you go to Pump Station, or if it's OK just to have a drink. She said it is OK to just have a drink. Since that's the case, I told her I'd appreciate it if the girl who had kicked me would refrain from doing so if I came there. The mamasan apologized, but didn't look like she gave a shit, frankly.

 

 

 

I'm not pissed off by all this, it's just an anecdote. Again, most of you seem to find Thai sex workers a pretty polite, decent lot (and I've met a lot of those too, but not exclusively so!!!)

[Guest]

Sometimes the vibe in a place is just not right. The fact that you may have had fun in the past or during a different time of day in this place should not cloud your judgement.

 

 

 

Probably the best thing to do is to simply get up and leave showing no emotion or not trying to say goodbye or anything. That is probably the loudest statement you can make without attracting more negative energy.