Petchaboon

[jai-dee]

For weeks I had been asking Joy when she would take me to her home village. I knew that she occasionally went home to visit her mother so I figured I would just come along on her next trip. Predictably, her answers were along the lines of "Up to you". So at the end of February, with less than 2 weeks before I had to return to farangland, I decided it was going to be now or never:

 

"Let's go this weekend" I told her.

 

"OK, we go Sunday" she answered.

 

"Why not earlier, like Friday evening" I countered, as I expected we'd stay 2-3 days.

 

"Mai dai" was the essence of her answer. All right, she said more than just 2 words, but it still took a lot of questioning and guessing before I realised we would go for one day only, the main reason being that she was going to leave her 6 months old baby daughter behind.

 

My contribution to the trip was to provide the transport. I went to pick up a rental car on Saturday afternoon. The agency had earlier given me a quote for 800B per day. But they didn't have the 800B car that day, so they offered me a bigger one for the same price. I thought this was rather remarkable given that they were quite unhelpful otherwise. The first problem emerged straight away - I didn't have an international driver's license. After a lot of haggling I eventually convinced them my national driver's license was good enough. The next issue was about the payment.

 

"Sorry, no credit card."

 

What??? Who has ever heard of a rent-a-car agency that didn't demand, let alone not accept a credit card?

 

"No problem, ATM next door", they offered helpfully.

 

It was almost dark when I finally drove off. I was quite nervous initially, this being not only my first drive in Thailand but also rush hour on Sukhumvit. From a taxi passenger's perspective driving in rush traffic in Bangkok seems dangerous if not outright suicidal. But I quickly learned that driving in this seemingly nervous chaotic traffic was actually quite easy. You can get away with anything as long as you act predictably. Anyone who has seen a bus making a U-turn on a busy 6 lane road will know what I mean.

 

It is a 4 hour drive to Petchaboon and it was decided we would start at 4am. At 3:30 I headed off to Samut Prakan where Joy lives. The traffic at this early hour was very light and as speed limit signs in Thailand are merely roadside decorations I got there very quickly. I was amazed to see the market in Samut Prakan still going. Not all the stalls were open but quite a few were still (or should I say already) trading.

 

Joy lives with her in-laws in a small house in a soi off a soi off a soi, 8 people all together. They are all very hospitable and friendly. They always welcome me enthusiastically when I visit. It is as if they've accepted me into their family and I feel so comfortable in their home that I usually stay there all day. Joy is the only one who speaks some English, yet everybody is eager to talk to me.

 

Most of the time Joy skillfully translates and explains even though her English is pretty basic. Her father-in-law is my biggest fan, he always insists on chatting with me although I don't understand a word of what he says because of his accent. Once he even asked me for an autograph as if I was some kind of celebrity. I can understand others a little and they always patiently listen when I struggle to say something in Thai.

 

Joy is the youngest (20) and smallest (42kg) person yet she seems to be the leader in the household. When the phone rings she answers. When there is work to be done she coordinates it. When there are decisions to be made she consults with the others and then she announces the decision. When visitors call she receives and welcomes them. She does all this in a charming and relaxed manner. Her husband, a handsome young lad, is like a shadow, helping here and there, doesn't speak much and frequently disappears with his friends. Mother quietly works around the house, father watches TV and plays some video games and occasionally retires to the bedroom with a bottle of whiskey. Joy's brother-in-law and sister-in-law work and return home late in the evening. I'm sure it is patently obvious to everybody why I keep visiting them but everybody is always friendly and welcoming, including Joy's husband. If he harbors any resentment or jealousy towards me he never shows it. I'm quite sure they are sincere. I can imagine one person skillfully pretending all the time, but here we have 6 people, even more if counting visiting relatives. They aren't getting any particular benefits from me except for an occasional small gift. And I have treated the young ones in restaurants and discos but I've never given them any money. Could it really be that they see me as a celebrity, just for being a farang visiting their humble home?

 

We left shortly after 4 o'clock. Joy was sitting in the front, her husband, his brother, his sister and sister's boyfriend in the back. Joy's skin is quite dark, she explained that her family had moved to Petchaboon from Isaan. Her upper lip is strongly curved upward so that even with her mouth in the default position (ie. not open) her perfect teeth are visible. The effect of this is that she seems to have a perpetual smile.

 

She was chatting with me throughout the journey. I would normally enjoy this immensely but at this ungodly hour I didn't feel like talking at all. I started making more effort when she explained that she was only talking in order to keep me awake, she was afraid I might fall asleep. When we stopped at a service station she bought me a can of iced coffee. How thoughtful of her, being a non-coffee drinker this would never occur to me but it certainly helps with night driving.

 

We arrived to the village just after sunrise. The village lies in a wide valley, there are rice fields all around it. There seem to be some hills on the west side but the atmosphere was too hazy to see that far. Joy's mother and one of her sisters live in a large 2 story house in the middle of the village. I wondered why they need all the space because the house is practically empty, there is hardly any furniture, and they spend most of the day outdoors. Joy's father left the family long time ago and she hasn't had any contact with him for years. She admits she misses him.

 

After I've been introduced to the mother (I've met the sister before) they took me on a tour of the village. We stopped at several houses and met with people. There is a cousin or an uncle or an aunt in every house nearby. After some prompting I managed my first self-initiated wais. Nobody really expected me to speak or understand Thai and I was relieved that I was able to talk with Joy as an interpreter. It was breakfast time and everywhere we were invited to share their food. Mind you it was nothing like toast and coffee, they were having sticky rice with strange meat dishes.

 

Next we visited Mai. My meeting with her was one of the reasons for this trip. Mai lives just 2 houses from Joy's mother. She was expecting me. Joy introduced me and then left us alone.

 

Mai is 26 years old, single and would love to have a farang husband. She speaks no English and while she is not unattractive I quickly realised that I would not be interested in her at all. Mai on the other hand had great expectations. She was thrilled by the fact that a farang had travelled all the way to her home village specifically to meet her. At least this is what she believed, I don't know what ideas Joy planted in her head. I felt rather awkward and uneasy and promptly forgot all my knowledge of Thai language. She handled herself somewhat better and we spent our first encounter using body language more than words. She gave me her address and phone number and made me promise to write her when I return to farangland. I was very relieved when we returned to the others, I'm much more comfortable when Joy is present.

 

As there wasn't much more to do or see in the village my friends decided we would go on a picnic. This time there were 3 more passengers in the car - Mai, another lady from next door, and Lai, Joy's 10 year old niece. After half an hour's drive we stopped at some kind of a country resort. There was a lake with paddle boats, bungalows, landscaped grounds, but it was totally deserted and in the state of decay. What a pity, it could be a really pleasant place.

 

A little later we reached our destination - an artificial lake with house boats for rent. Boats are tied up to a rope that leads from the shore to the middle of the lake. They can be hired by the hour and the rent is dirt cheap. We hired one of the boats and pulled ourselves out to the middle of the lake.

 

The boat is a flimsy rectangular structure made of bamboo. As soon as we "dropped anchor" we were surrounded by "floating food stalls", ladies in little boats selling food and taking orders for meals. As always we ordered more food than we can eat. Then we relaxed and enjoyed. Cool water, fresh breezes, laughter of children splashing in the water, barely audible Thai music from a distant radio, the company of friendly young people, delicious Thai food - all ingredients of a superb Sunday afternoon. It was so easy to forget that there is world beyond the shores of this lake.

 

Although I was paired with Mai I interacted very little with her. I felt too uncomfortable with her and somehow couldn't get the conversation with her going. Instead I turned to Lai. Although she is only 10 she knows better than all the grown-ups how to talk to a farang who has a limited knowledge of Thai language. She speaks slowly and clearly, repeats her sentences until she sees that I understand, spells words for me, she instantly senses when I don't understand a particular word and explains or describes it, she laughs at my mistakes and corrects them. I have never been able to converse with an adult Thai as easily as with this child. Adults often speak to me in complex sentences, with their usual accents, and fast. But this young girl was able to adjust her level to be completely in tune with mine. I realised that the easiest way to learn the language would be with children like this one.

 

We returned back to the village late in the afternoon. Lai then took me by the hand and led me on another tour of the village. First we went to the vegetable garden. On the way there she pointed to every tree, told me its name and whether the fruit is edible. In the garden she tought me names of all the plants we found and described how they taste. Then we visited some homes of her choice where she introduced me to her friends. By the time we returned home she had "adopted" me and started calling me "daddy", much to the delight of everybody present. Her 6 year old sister Ta didn't want to miss out and started wheedling too, and I spent most of the evening playing with the 2 girls.

 

Dinner was server just after nightfall. We were eating outdoors, at the big low table that serves both as table and chairs. I've already had 3 meals that day but there was no way of avoiding another one. After all I was the guest of honour. All the neighbours joined us, including several single/separated/widowed ladies. The word has obviously spread that there was a single farang here. I was the centre of attention, they all wanted to present themselves to me. One of them was particularly aggressive, she pushed the more gentle and shy Mai aside and started courting me.

 

Joy had explained that I particularly like to eat fish and the dinner consisted of more fish dishes than they would otherwise have. Unfortunately their fish are the small 10cm variety. It takes forever to remove all the bones and extract the tiny amount of meat they contain so I only helped myself with a token quantity. But my hosts were determined that I would not leave their home hungry and kept loading food on my plate, putting me in a very awkward position. I didn't want and couldn't eat much but I couldn't refuse their food for fear of being impolite. On top of that they insisted that I try some particular meat dish. Joy had told them that I'm a vegetarian so I was hoping that at least they wouldn't force me with meat. But even she joined the prodding and I finally gave in. A bite of meat was not going to kill me. Everybody stared at me and awaited my reaction.

 

"Aroi dee" I said, as it was quite tasty. "What kind of meat is it?"

 

"Noo" was the answer. Well, I've just tried rat meat. I must admit it went down much easier than ants' eggs I once had in a Bangkok restaurant.

 

After dinner there was one more event to attend. It so happened that tonight there was some village fair (and no, it wasn't organised for my benefit). Everybody changed into their best clothes, Lai and Ta took me by the hands and we went to the market place where it would take place. The 2 girls were beaming and proudly showing off their farang "daddy". They've been living without their father most of their life.

 

There was a band playing, there was food and drinks, toys and balloons for sale. The entire village population seemed to be gathered here. My girls promptly led me to the man selling musical yoyos. I bought one for each and their happiness seemed to be complete.

 

We had to return to Bangkok that night therefore we left the fair early, well before it got into full swing. It is said that Thais don't make a big deal out of farewells, but ours lasted a long time. Lai and Ta put on a tearful show, they hugged me and kept saying how they will miss me. Unfortunately they were overdoing it so much that I started to doubt their sincerity. I wasn't prepared for this and I didn't bring any gifts, so I gave them 100 baht each which made them happy and we could finally leave.

 

The return trip would have been another tiresome uneventful journey except for an incident just north of Don Muang. It was 1am, the traffic was as heavy as ever, I was tired and sleepy and could barely keep my eyes open. I was doing 110 kph in the rightmost lane on the expressway. Suddenly I saw a pair of headlights coming towards me. In a split second my fatigue was gone, there was fortunately space on my left and I quickly changed lanes. A second later this car passed us, going in the wrong direction. Must have been on a suicide mission. And my passengers were sound sleep so I couldn't even share my shock with them.

[chilli13]

interesting tale it was especially the rat meat dinner!

I can't say that any of my few thai family visits have been that uhm exciting

[spirit_of_town_hall]

Interesting report, I am a bit confused, did you go as the boyfriend of the girl?

 

STH

[phoenix]

Hi JD,

 

Great story. Keep them coming.

 

When are you due back in LOS? And what's happening with the lady you brought home to Aus with you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[jai-dee]

did you go as the boyfriend of the girl?

 

No, just as a friend. She declared herself my best friend. She is married and her husband was present.

[jai-dee]

Exactly 2 weeks until my return to LOS. I don't know where I'll be staying yet. My GF is in Bangkok now, impatiently waiting for me and learning to work with computers at some school.

[phoenix]

>Exactly 2 weeks until my return to LOS. I don't know where I'll be staying yet.<

 

My NZ wife and I will arrive in two weeks and three days, on the saturday nite, stay two nights in bkk, and then move on to Lao PDR. Maybe we can meet up, but I'm not sure yet, I'm staying away from previous haunts, for obvious reasons.