Guest Posted March 7, 2003 Report Share Posted March 7, 2003 Cardinalblue 'Of the many BGs i have met, I wouldn't consider any of them sincere and lifelong friend candidates. We just come from two different worlds, backgrounds and ideologies.' A couple comments/questions about your statement: 1. Why wouldn't you consider a BG a lifelong friend candidate? Have you given any a chance? 2. Backgrounds? Do you think a GTG has a similar background to you: she's probably buddhist, came from a relatively poor family, grew up as a woman in Thailand, as a Thai. How much further could that be from a western male? Indeed, I'd say that the BG and the GTG are about as far away from our background as they could be. But in fact the BG is probably closer - you came to Thailand for the life, you probably enjoy it, she likes to party, you like to party, she sells it for cold hard cash and you pay for it with cold hard cash. (and I won't get into the FACT that with ALL women you pay now or you pay later - that's a different subject.) So I see a lot of similarities between the BG and farang. And what makes the GTG all of a sudden want to date/marry a westerner? As an analogy, wouldn't you think it strange if the girl down the street, little Jane Smith, finished high school and college and all of a sudden announced 'I want to marry a good Thai guy?' Most would say 'What the hell is going on with little Jane Smith?' I know I sure would. So why are these GTGirls after westerners? Mightn't it be they aren't so good? What did they do in the past? And WHY oh WHY are they now after farang man? Something just doesn't add up with our mythical GTG. And the 'Chatbox' relationship with the GTG, which started this thread - well, something doesn't add up there either. How about something normal, like, uh, well, a date? Maybe that's in the cards, don't know, but seems like it would be a logical next step. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted March 7, 2003 Report Share Posted March 7, 2003 I hope that every guy can find a woman that loves and respects them and a woman that they can love and respect regardless of her background and credentials. I see the same credential chasing relationship nonsense in the States and most of the parties forget about love and respect. They become stuck on how their companion looks on paper instead of how they affect their hearts. A reformed prostitute and a PHD of Physics can both make a man happy as long as the love and respect are present in the relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted March 7, 2003 Report Share Posted March 7, 2003 "So I see a lot of similarities between the BG and farang. And what makes the GTG all of a sudden want to date/marry a westerner? As an analogy, wouldn't you think it strange if the girl down the street, little Jane Smith, finished high school and college and all of a sudden announced 'I want to marry a good Thai guy?' Most would say 'What the hell is going on with little Jane Smith?' I know I sure would. So why are these GTGirls after westerners? Mightn't it be they aren't so good? What did they do in the past? And WHY oh WHY are they now after farang man? " ............................................................................ In the kind of relationship/friendship which HT is now, a BG is not an alternative at all. What would those chats/e-mails consist of? I doubt if you find many BG's who can keep that interesting when you have not met face to face. I have been in a similar situation as HT myself, and I found it very refeshing to have a friend to learn from and share things with. A person who I could discuss Thai culture, farang/Thai relations with and other stuff who was on my level. A person who I over time found out was a true friend, who I could depend on. I got valueable advices from this friendship. It almost turned into an affair, but for different reasons I ended up with another person. I still value our friendship greatly. How do you know its not about money? Simply because it never appears and is unthinkable for both. When you say that its a huge world between an educated Thai girl and a western I think you are wrong. The gap between a person who lives an urban Thai life and has education and a foreigner is not that wide. HT's relationship with this girl might never turn into a love affair, but if its anything like mine with my friend its worth having. Some relations between Thai and farang does not involve the money factor, but I guess you have had to be there to know what I talk about. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted March 7, 2003 Report Share Posted March 7, 2003 When you say that its a huge world between an educated Thai girl and a western I think you are wrong. The gap between a person who lives an urban Thai life and has education and a foreigner is not that wide. I have to disagree at some level with this statement. I have met several multi-degreed Thai women that have nothing in common with me aside from their university education. I have found several of them have lived extremely sheltered lives with their only focus being education. They were raised in fairly wealthy families, were always driven to school and picked up by parents at every grade level. Were not allowed to leave home unescorted. Were never allowed to explore their own interests until their mid- twenties, never rebelled against family wishes. They were nice women but they never struggled, suffered, fell down, or did anything of their own outside of their programmed lives, until they hit their mid to late twenties and continued their education abroad. They were educated and intelligent but they never LIVED! Contrast that with some BG's I know who have ventured from the farm, struck out on their own in the streets of BKK and hustled to survive. They are not formally educated but they are intelligent and they are LIVING life with all of its ups and downs. I can definitely identify better with the BG. I guess my mentality is similar to the hiring philosophy of a former manager I had: "I will always hire the hungry kid from City College of New York who makes shit stick to the wall over the Columbia MBA who expects the job". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted March 7, 2003 Report Share Posted March 7, 2003 "I have to disagree at some level with this statement. I have met several multi-degreed Thai women that have nothing in common with me aside from their university education. I have found several of them have lived extremely sheltered lives with their only focus being education. They were raised in fairly wealthy families, were always driven to school and picked up by parents at every grade level " Not all fall into this group IMO. Some lead very independent lifes, and the ones you mention might not be the ones who foreigners come easily in contact with in the first place? I have no experience from the upper class group, the Thais I know are middle class and below that. I don't think most of those are protected and tampered with in the way you describe. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted March 7, 2003 Report Share Posted March 7, 2003 Says check_bin_krap: Not all fall into this group IMO. Cheers! I concur. The same as the notion that every prostitute cannot conversate with a Western educated man. I find that some here think that a formal education in a GTG equals stellar intelligence when in fact intelligence and formal education are not synonymous. I have recently had some delightful discussions with a BG who speaks english very well and reads Thai newspapers everyday. She knows what is going on in the world even though she is not educated as to the history and implications of certain geopolitical actions. Education is not the bridge that connects the gap between people. IMO it is respect and a genuine interest to want to learn about the person you are involved with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted March 7, 2003 Report Share Posted March 7, 2003 >Indeed, I'd say that the BG and the GTG are about as far away from our background as they could be. When they have the same goal - scoring a farang, we can see some differences. As the goal is important, so are the means to get there. A BG has her body, rote learned English words/phrases and not much more. A GTG has all that plus heaps more at her disposal. A BG can hardly reach for the devices a GTG would have. A GTG can go down at any time. What happens when they get there, that's another question. Who can screw you up worse if it goes down that path? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harlequinbkk Posted March 7, 2003 Report Share Posted March 7, 2003 [color:"red"] When you say that its a huge world between an educated Thai girl and a western I think you are wrong. The gap between a person who lives an urban Thai life and has education and a foreigner is not that wide. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I have to disagree at some level with this statement. I have met several multi-degreed Thai women that have nothing in common with me aside from their university education. I have found several of them have lived extremely sheltered lives with their only focus being education. They were raised in fairly wealthy families, were always driven to school and picked up by parents at every grade level. Were not allowed to leave home unescorted. Were never allowed to explore their own interests until their mid- twenties, never rebelled against family wishes. They were nice women but they never struggled, suffered, fell down, or did anything of their own outside of their programmed lives, until they hit their mid to late twenties and continued their education abroad. They were educated and intelligent but they never LIVED! [/color] JJsushi, You travel in high circles indeed, but Check Bin Krap is referring to relatively educated, urban Thai ladies, most of whom are not from wealthy families, nor have they lived 'extremely sheltered' lives. Given that, I would agree with his statement. It is their education and urban experience that allow these women to understand and relate to foreigners. You can always find exceptions and anecdotal evidence to the contrary, but all things being equal, a typical foreign visitor will have more in common with a middle-class Bangkok woman than a BG from a farm. Harlequin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted March 7, 2003 Report Share Posted March 7, 2003 MMan, Yes I was involved with a BG (worked one week and then a two month stint) for five years. I gave her every chance to commit but she never displayed the trust that i needed to find in her. The others of a few months duration just didn't show dependability, reliability or sincerity/honesty needed. The main problem is BGs are caught in daily life problems. If it is not one thing it is another thing (themselves, family members, friends). One crisis after another. Things that we take granted, they turn mole hills into mountains. That is the greatest frustration I have with BGs. It is not so much their poverty as much as a BG mentality. I make this statement because two girls I know who are not BGs and make a whole lot less $$$ than BGs. Yet, they have some of the same issues but much better at problem-solving, cognitive reasoning and judgment skills, Also, another trait that seems to be lacking in the BGs that I have met compared to regular girls is that regular girls that i know have ambition. GTGs that i know are much more ambitious/focused than the BGs that i have met. Not only do they have goals and dreams (everyone does) but they are able to make them happen basically on their own. (go to university, advance at work, find a non-punter falang, etc). What people forget here is we falangs come from different backgrounds compared to each other. GTGs who are conservative, good families and formally educated, I have much more in common with them than some high school educated/vocational guy who works the union halls and likes to party and raise hell. I have found myself to have much more in common with some GTGs at work than many of the guys sitting on nana bar stools. It is more a reflection of backgrounds, social values, idealologies, and upbringing and less about religion, race or pure economic class. jjsushi talked about hiring a person who travelled the road of hard knocks because he relates to that person better than someone who graduated from a pretigious university. Since i relate to the latter better, I am more inclined to socialize and hang with them. A few years back, I used to hire physicians who graduated only from top 20 usa medical school programs. I needed a sure bet and went with the probabilities. That is what my customers wanted. Just two different philosophies but usually an outgrowth of one's own background and experiences....... Cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted March 7, 2003 Report Share Posted March 7, 2003 CB, Not that I don't agree with your post. What you missed in your response is the question MMan presented: MMan wrote: So why are these GTGirls after westerners? Mightn't it be they aren't so good? What did they do in the past? And WHY oh WHY are they now after farang man? Something just doesn't add up with our mythical GTG. In my reading, that's what he was asking. Not for an essay on why Uni educated girls are better than poor and almost illiterate bgs. Why are the both sides hunting for the same game? With their bare hands , with western education, rocket scientist fathers...with whatever they can throw at the bird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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