check_bin_krap Posted March 9, 2003 Report Share Posted March 9, 2003 "Too many guys here look at prostitutes as if they are something other than human and incapable of love or being loved. Too many guys look at GTG's as if they are the perfect women incapable of faults. The bottom line is that good or bad they are all women. What matters is if they love trust and respect the man that they consider their mate. " .............................................................. JJsushi, I agree with some points you have. BG's are not inferior human beings. For me it is not about that, its more odds and chances of success or failure. I would drop the GTG definition. There is no such group as GTG. I don't think people think of "GTG" when they meet Thai girls. I don't think they put a lot of trust in a person just because she is not a prostitute? I have a lot of respect for people who manage to get a good relationship with a BG. Because the odds are pretty bad from the start. They start of on a services sold basis. When do you know and how do you know if the feelings are true? Add to that communication and culture gaps, which I feel are larger with an uneducated BG than Thais with a wider background. If I tried my luck with a BG, I would be this boards new Akarr. I would fall for the sick mum and dad line or whatever. I have no confidence that I would be able to avoid that faith. I am simply too gullible and not that smart. When it comes to other Thai girls, I feel more confident. Also on some I know only over the net. Because I have known these people for such a time that I know how they tick. You get a pretty good idea when you concentrate on communicating, as you do on the net. I haven't had a big shock with those I have met in person later either. They are not alike. They don't deserve that stupid GTG branding which indicates that they are all same same. As persons, they are all different from eachother. Thats true when it comes to BG's also, but as I said the odds would work against me there. I have never hunted on the net for gf's. I went out with an approach to meet girls, make friends and contacts. By accident I ended up in a relationship out of it, engaged now and we are expecting our first baby. We met on e-mails first, and went into chats later. I got her E-address from another girl who I met on the net, who I also have met afterwards and who I regard as a very good friend. Maybe the odds are better for those who feel at home in the bar scene. HT's view contradicts that though. Maybe it is so easily explained that our experiences colour our opinions here. I would think that the bar scene leaves more failures than for those who try outside it, and if you had experienced it your view would have been another. Cheers and good luck whereever one looks for love! P.S.: This was long and boring for sure.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted March 9, 2003 Report Share Posted March 9, 2003 Pattaya127, Of course BGs try to fly to the States! Look at the history. How else do you explain the US tough immigration/visa policies? The reputation of thai girls disappearing and going into prostitution in america has made it miserable for the average thai person (other than the very wealthy) just to holiday for three weeks in america. It is shameful that the US has such policies against Thais traveling to america. Talk about stereotyping? How many of us would like to invite or take someone back (doesn't have to be a gf) for a chance to vacation/experience in america? I wish US would re-think their visa policies for thai citizens..... Cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted March 9, 2003 Report Share Posted March 9, 2003 >I would drop the GTG definition. There is no such group as GTG. I don't think people think of "GTG" when they meet Thai girls. I don't think they put a lot of trust in a person just because she is not a prostitute? Here it goes. On several ocassions we (my ex-bg) gf and me met GTGs and their farang husbands/BFs. "Do they know what I did before?" was the question. September last year, we were with a couple. GTG and her husband. Watched the conversation (a contention, I would think) from a short distance, they were saying: What do you do ? I am a student. A student? Yes, every day. (That was the first exit for the GTG to stop asking) What were you doing before? I did my best to find my farang husband. (Second exit for the GTG) Where did you go to find him? Everywhere. Golf courses, bars, Internet. That man there, that's him. No more questions after that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted March 9, 2003 Report Share Posted March 9, 2003 "And lending B16k to someone you met on a chat board, without meeting them in person, is, well, naive, IMO. Can't believe she wouldn't be able to get the money back if you don't make good on it. And I won't comment on why ANYONE would set-up a vacation with a person they hadn't met. To each his own." ............................................................. Yes, each to his own for sure.. I don't think this girl is off her rockers. You can get to know a person very well over the net. You spend time communicating. You find out if you connect on the mental level. "I love you too much" scams fade out and are difficult to keep up. Don't laugh of HT's way until you have tried it. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted March 9, 2003 Report Share Posted March 9, 2003 MMan, Good question about whether they are not good enough for oneself or whether can not deal with her profession? I am not sure is this is a mutually exclusive question? The simple answer is probably not good enough. Putting the relationship aside, I have never met a BG that i could say that is great person, a really impressive, special person. Nor do i expect given what we are dealing with. On the other hand, non-BGs (getting away from the GTG term) is pretty average group of people. Again, as expected. The difference is I can say i have met a small handful of pretty impressive people. I will emphasize very small but nevertheless, the potential and greater upside are there. It has to do with diversity and sheer numbers which one will not find in an adverse homogeneous population like BGs (for me and will/will not be the same for others). Everyone is looking for something different. What i am looking for I will not find in the girls who work the entertainment industry.They have fundamentally basic deficiencies that i struggle with. It doesn't mean I am looking for the best and brightest in the non-BG market. I have met some pretty unimpressive university graduates here. The most impressive girl i have met from an attractiveness/relationship angle was a high school graduate with incrdible high quality/high caliber attributes. Much more impressive than the vast majority of university graduates or higher socio-econ people i have met. The point is this girl while having the background of that of a BG (poor, isaan, broken family, etc) would never be found in the BG market. The odds of finding these types of girls will occur in the non-BG market (for me). Each of us defines what relative words like "special" or "impressive" in our own way. Some will find their "impressive or special" girl in the BG market. Others will not........ Cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted March 10, 2003 Report Share Posted March 10, 2003 Of course BGs try to fly to the States! -------------------------------- Uh.... remember, we are talking about single women. Any BG who wants to visit Europe or USA (BTW, I did not mean to be specific, just where I live) needs to be guaranteed by a sponsor. PS: i think the visa policy in the US shows that we americans have let our government take a part in our lives that curbs our freedom. These are ridiculous regulations more akin to paranoia than immigration. But then lately, paranoia and ridicule have been part of our foreign policy. Too bad they are so strongly armed.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted March 10, 2003 Report Share Posted March 10, 2003 Says cardinalblue: Pattaya127, Of course BGs try to fly to the States! Look at the history. How else do you explain the US tough immigration/visa policies? The reputation of thai girls disappearing and going into prostitution in america has made it miserable for the average thai person (other than the very wealthy) just to holiday for three weeks in america. Dude that is the biggest falsity I have ever heard regarding US immigration policy concerning Thailand. The prostitution rationale is either pure speculation on your part or someone fed you a line of nonsense. The current policy against Asians from Southeast Asia is a result and continued legacy of the Vietnam War. After the first wave of Vietnamese "boat people" in 1975(don't quote me on the year) Immigration policies were changed to re-define "refugee" status and prevented the use of "poverty" as a reason to seek US asylum. These policies targeted the poor countries of SEA as well as Africa and Latin America. US immigration policy has historically been discriminatory against all Asians. Our government still has a discriminatory policy towards children of American GI's seeking entry who technically deserve citizenship but our government does not recognize them. I am of course simplifying the US immigration policy and it is much more complex than what I have stated but given the constraints of this board and that I don't want to type up 20 pages of history and statistics; I can say without a doubt, the rationale that Thai women are denied visas and subjected to stringent immigration policies because of the reputation that they 'disappear and enter into prostitution' is a truckload of CRAP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 10, 2003 Report Share Posted March 10, 2003 Hi all, Just for the record. Someone started this thread, as subject was brought up in another thread, and my good friend :)thought it deserved it's own, half-way in jest that I had fallen in love. Just to re-iterate some things, in response to some posts here: I met this girl accidently on a chat board. Was checking it out, due to hearing about it here. Ran into a girl that struck me as very nice, and we have subsequently developed a relationship, by way of MS messaging, for the last 30 days. We have at least 100 hours logged up, of communication, and get along exstremely well. She is the first non-bar girl I've known. From day one, have talked every day. First two weeks, she was adement that we would never meet, nor would she tell me her real name, where she worked, or where she lived. Only interested in chat only, and if I had other ideas....I should forget them. Over the following weeks, and many hours together, she slowly opened up, and has eventually lead to us not only meeting, but spending some time together at a resort, as long as her two friends would be there, separate rooms, etc. We have explored the posibility of us meeting, and falling in love, but is something that both of us agree cannot happen. We are both in agreement that a long distance relationship would suck beyond belief, and want no part of it. We do not love each other, beyond as very close friends, and us meeting, is just a continuation of our enjoyment with each other. I have also gotten to know her two friends who will be with us, and have come to like them very much, as well. So some are asking, 'why am I doing this?'. My answer is "why not?". It is a product born of my own particular situation. I can only get to LOS 2 x year, and unable to stay longer than approx. 1 week (I have a daughter I'm unwilling to leave with out a dad, for longer than that). The possibibility of me meeting a non-Thai girl, and then subsequently start seeing, is nearly impossible in the time-frames availible to me. A situation presented itself where I have been able to have a very enjoyable relationship with a non-b/g. I love Thailand, and up til now, have enjoyed very little of it, outside lower suk. This next visit, I'll get to spend some time with 3 Thai nationals, in a very remote resort, where all we will have at night for entertainment, is ourselves. I could come home this next visit with the same old sanuk story. I have no idea what story I'll be coming home with this time, but it will be a very different experience. I've simply been given an oppurtunity to expand my horizons, and am following that oppurtunity. This is not a case of meeting 4-5 girls on BKKChat, talking for an hour, and then agreeing to meet them for coffee. I realize it may be hard for some to understand, and would have been hard for me also, a few months ago. I've had to hold this girls hand while she's crying, watched while she spends an extra 1.5 hours a day on the bus to/from school so she can live at a place with a computer so we can talk, put up money from her bank account, so that it is insured we can meet. All small things by themselves, but paints a very impressive picture for me, as a whole. I know of no other way possible for me to develope a relationship with a non-b/g, other than the way I am doing it now. The outcome? Who the hell knows? Really.....but one thing is for sure. We have both put in the time to show the other that we are serious about wanting to be good friends for a very long time. There can't be anything wrong with this. At least for me, it has been a good thing. And I know she gets pleasure from us, as well. Hey.....a total disaster from day one? I catch a plane back to BKK the next day. But...............Nothing ventured, nothing gained. HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 10, 2003 Report Share Posted March 10, 2003 HT I thought my post was a bit condescending on your chat relationship. Sorry about that. Its not something that I would do in my situation, but given your situation, who knows, I might do the same thing. I might add that I had a friend of mine over in Indonesia who did a chat thing with some girl from the U.S. After a couple of months, he arranged for HER to come over to Bali to meet him. (Talk about coals to Newcastle.) Anyway, he met her at Ngurah Rai airport and she was not exactly what he thought she was in the looks department, and apparently he/she didn't 'click' too well in personality department either. After a few miserable days in Bali they went back to Jakarta to his apartment, and it took her about 2 weeks to finally leave. The moral of this one-off story is, I suppose, be careful. There are probably stories of netchat deals working out great - I just don't know. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farangman Posted March 10, 2003 Report Share Posted March 10, 2003 Hi I'd like to ask one question, and please don't take it the wrong way. Why don't you send her the 16k in advance of you arriving in Thailand, so that she at least isn't left wondering if you will show up right until your day of arrival? Or is it perhaps you are subconsciously afraid to do that incase she doesn't show up on the designated date and never really made a payment herself to the place? You don't have to answer if you don't want to - perhaps I am reading too much between the lines - but it seems to me you are blurred in your conceptions of what makes a good thai girl and a typical bar girl. IMHO, you are putting too much faith in the fact she doesn't work in a bar ...as far as you know. I'm not knocking what are you are planning to do. Infact I think it is good to get out of the Sukhumvit syndrome. But I do think that perhaps you are slightly misguided in making hard and fast decisions on what is a good thai girl and what is not, especially after just chatting over the internet and having never met them face to face. I suspect many (and I am not counting you in this category) like to say they are dating a "GTG" just to justify their actions. They seem to want oneupmanship or a badge of merit. Nothing wrong in that, but perhaps not totally honest with themselves. Again I think it is admirable that you are seeing more of Thailand, but please don't make yourself black and white rules... you will only end up dissapointed. Cheers farangman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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