Vintage_Kwai Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 Would tend to agree with TN. As you have a family, your main responsibility at this time would be to the present wife and kids. More so if she is totally dependent on you. Just get a hotel room for the weekends and stay with the girlfriend. Keep it that way, don't even consider moving in with her. It will be the biggest mistake you'll ever make. The way I read between the lines, things may have cooled off with you and your wife, but you both still want the stability that marriage provides. You're probably feeling shitty because she's just found out about your girlfriend, and your girlfriend is trying to take advantage of the situation. Don't burn any bridges yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dddave Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 Sometimes separating for a while works for the better, sometimes for worse, but if you do decide to go that route, I suggest it would be best for you to live ALONE for a spell, not with the new g.f. If you shack up with her, the bliss of the new relationship and the sexual haze that can obscure what is really going on in your head will make it very difficult for you to analyze what is really best for you and your family in the long run. You need some time to think about what you really want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Scrutinizer Posted January 3, 2008 Report Share Posted January 3, 2008 Excellent advice there DDDave. I agree completely. Cent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Encore Posted January 4, 2008 Report Share Posted January 4, 2008 I'll second that. Cooling off period on your own. Having said that, I didn't dop that, and got into a lot of grief. The suggestion of sticking to the marriage if it is an OK relation, with the odd weekend off sounds sensible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
belfastish Posted January 4, 2008 Report Share Posted January 4, 2008 just a thought would you be bothered if the tables where turned and it was you wife moving in with a new fella? theres always the thought from your wife of a new mum figure for the kids as they would probably see her a lot if you lived with her! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LookPedKeeRay Posted January 4, 2008 Report Share Posted January 4, 2008 > My GF wants me to move in with her. So what about what YOU want? Why would you want to move in with her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dumsoda Posted January 4, 2008 Report Share Posted January 4, 2008 ...Maybe...She's different???? Actually....some of them are... contrary to popular belief... Sometimes...things "Just happen".... or so a "Friend" told me... To the OP...Good Luck....do what your heart tells you to do.. BUT...as per the wise words of K dddave (my personal "Shrink")..take some time for yourself first... Good Luck DS...sometimes DC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fool Posted January 4, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 4, 2008 Hey guys, good stuff and helps to read all the comments, food for thought. Right now I'm with the dek deks' tryin to be a good dad, that bit is easy. The GF is holding station whilst I find my space. YF is comfortable, sort of and though she will take it hard if it really comes to a split I guess there really is no answer to that question. I also throw my hat into the 'some really are different' ring. But maybe my taste is a little different too. Would never touch a girl under about 28 personally, nowhere near enough life lived for my taste. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unit731 Posted January 4, 2008 Report Share Posted January 4, 2008 I'd stay close to any good friends that you have. And you'd be doing the children much more than a favour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tartempion Posted January 6, 2008 Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 My dear Fool, I just do that. One for the sex, the other for the mind. Sex 10 months/year, mind two months. They live 10k kms apart, I travel between them. Children are grown-up, luckily. I know the wrath of board members will fall upon me by making this public, but who cares? It is though to share two women, but we only have one life. What is your motivation? Think hard abour such decision. Good luck to ya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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