playtheblues Posted May 16, 2009 Report Share Posted May 16, 2009 My experience is that, if you like the girl, you should stick to the "relationship" however crazy it is. In the long run - well in the long run we are all dead - but in the long run things tend to level out. Despite all her lying, promiscuity (to use an euphemism), cheating, greed she can be strangely consistent in a wider time frame. If you deserve it, she will always come back to you. My own relation has been totally bizarre - not least because of the age gap - and any Stickman-type counsellor would advise me to run! . But I did a mistake when I asked her to move out. It wasn't necessary; after all all her Thermae Japanese clientele is nothing but business as they say in the "Godfather". Of course she will be coming back. Those girls can be amazingly long term steadfast amid all their short term volatility. If you are interesting enough for her, that is. And, alas, most of the guys she meets are so bland, bland, bland. You don't mean a thing if you aint got that swing. Have you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
playtheblues Posted May 16, 2009 Report Share Posted May 16, 2009 The above is a reply to original poster, not to Cent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harrydijk Posted May 16, 2009 Report Share Posted May 16, 2009 cowboy girl? is that mean she has a dick? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartThais Posted May 16, 2009 Report Share Posted May 16, 2009 Radioman, screw the advice from the old hands on this board. The fact is that you are living the dream. There's much talk about the GFE but really the richness of that experience is primarily a function of how unjaded you are. Revel in the fact that you miss this girl and that you're disappointed she's with someone else. Embrace the heartache because after another couple dozen BGs, you'll probably not even remember what it felt like to actually have feelings for one these girls. Enjoy it while it lasts. As long as you don't let it destroy you financially, it's the cheapest thrill in the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Scrutinizer Posted May 17, 2009 Report Share Posted May 17, 2009 PtB, I hope you don't mind, but I would like to reply to this post, as I find it interesting what you say. I know it wasn't aimed at me. "My experience is that, if you like the girl, you should stick to the "relationship" however crazy it is." I've seen many farang men do the same as you suggest. Most are broke, emotionally drained and damaged, have lived a tv soap opera while in the relationship, and, most that do not walk away from the crazy ones are, after all that drama, money and pain, NOT with the woman. Hardly a recommendation to follow your heart even if they are nutty bitches. But then, Thai women, even the crazy disasters out there many hook up with (and many are nuts due to their family history, drug abuse, alcoholism, etc.) are somehow able to attract men and have them stay with them, many times for years and even decades. They may be nuts, but they know how to play the men like virtuoso violinists. "- but in the long run things tend to level out." How do you mean? "Despite all her lying, promiscuity (to use an euphemism), cheating, greed she can be strangely consistent in a wider time frame. If you deserve it, she will always come back to you." Well, if you are talking bar girls, then yes. If you mean a real relationship, or wife, then, no. A lying, cheating, greedy wife is a totally different thing than a lying, cheating, greedy hooker. Consistent how? Consistently fucked up and causing you endless grief, costing you silly amounts of money and heartache? Maybe a masochist would like that kind of a relationship (or 'crazy whore' type), but most would walk away, the smarter guys sooner rather than later. "My own relation has been totally bizarre" Are you/were you happy in it? You must have stayed for some reason. What is/are/were the reason/s? Explain your version of 'bizarre'. (One person's bizarre is another person's normalacy.) "- not least because of the age gap" This seems less of a problem here, it all depends on the 2 people involved, but relating to a 19 yro when you are 70 for 24/7 is a bit of a challenge for most men I would say. "But I did a mistake when I asked her to move out." Why do you think it was a mistake? "It wasn't necessary; after all all her Thermae Japanese clientele is nothing but business as they say in the "Godfather"." It probably was necessary, for your own peace of mind and sanity. Loving and living with a prostitute, however lovely, and even sane, while she continues working and fucking other men, would do most mens heads in after a while I would think. But some like it and all the attendent conflict, emotional warfare, make up sex, and some men thrive on the constant drama. These are the masochists and drama queens. They love that shit. I think it is safe to say most men do not fare well in that sort of relationship scenario. It is way too stressful for most to endure over a long period of time. Yeah, an ocassional ST/LT with a crazy girl can be exciting, but long term in a relationship? Most would not need the Stickman-like commentator to tell them to 'Run Forrest! Run!'. They'd already be out the door and calling for a taxi. "Of course she will be coming back." Good luck with that. Seriously. "Those girls can be amazingly long term steadfast amid all their short term volatility." I think, whether sane or crazy as a bedbug, most Thai women tend to be very loyal when they find a man that presses all their right buttons and attracts them in one manner or another. "If you are interesting enough for her, that is." Or as nutty in one way or another as she is? Please explain your personal concept of 'interesting' and give us some examples of this in your thinking on that subject. It would be interesting to hear, at least to me. "And, alas, most of the guys she meets are so bland, bland, bland." Yes, bland, needy, easily pussy-whipped and used and abused, wimpy, etc. Westernized in their feminist thinking and the lifetime of brainwashing they have succumbed to makes them boring putty to some women. "They are not men. They are Devo." to paraphrase the song lyrics a bit. "You don't mean a thing if you aint got that swing. Have you?" Standing above the tame, tepid, easily manipulated male masses does have an allure doesn't it? Cent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Scrutinizer Posted May 17, 2009 Report Share Posted May 17, 2009 Radioman, screw the advice from the old hands on this board. The fact is that you are living the dream. There's much talk about the GFE but really the richness of that experience is primarily a function of how unjaded you are. Revel in the fact that you miss this girl and that you're disappointed she's with someone else. Embrace the heartache because after another couple dozen BGs, you'll probably not even remember what it felt like to actually have feelings for one these girls. Enjoy it while it lasts. As long as you don't let it destroy you financially, it's the cheapest thrill in the world. HeartThais old hand Posts: 783 Reg: 06/03/2007 Good advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Scrutinizer Posted May 17, 2009 Report Share Posted May 17, 2009 "you'll probably not even remember what it felt like to actually have feelings for one these girls." If they were true feelings, you don't forget. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Scrutinizer Posted May 17, 2009 Report Share Posted May 17, 2009 cowboy girl? is that mean she has a dick? Why? Would you then be interested? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
playtheblues Posted May 17, 2009 Report Share Posted May 17, 2009 Cent, good and elaborated points; I will try to be more specific - if not covering all of your comments. A note on the all important deniability: I cannot guarantee that the specific relationship I have talked about here is from my own experience... The key to the handling of relations with a difficult woman whom you find attractive enough to enjoy being with is: Autonomy of mind. What is that? I would call it a detached, almost ironic - these two elements are very important - educated, urban, intellectually well versed view of the world. Being able to ironically and critically overhear yourself and laugh at yourself. Not the trivial and pathetically ambitious "go-to-Thailand-and-find-myself-a good-wife-please give-me-some-advise" attitude, but rather the opposite. Being able to understand that romantic love probably is an illusion or a drama play but an extremely enjoyable - and painful - one. Learn to accept and live with the pain. Being able to existentially savour the presence of a beautiful woman but understand that you can never buy or own this beauty. Enjoy the opportunity to learn to know more about her day by day. Every woman, including the most uneducated farm girls is a universe of personality traits to discover. This will not be possible if you terminate the relationship every time you despair about it. Understand that it on the whole is more exciting - exciting is the word - to be with her than being alone, or changing partners all the time. That again if she is your type (and you got that swing in her eyes). And the "good girls" recommended for marriage are rarely my type. My favourite heroine may not not be a Shakespearian evil heroine such as Ibsens "Hedda Gabler", always bored "but boring no one; she is so utterly perverse" - Hedda is a bit too much (and she is too hi-so for me) but I prefer woman on the wild side of life. By the way, don't overspend on her; outsource the basic funding to the Japanese; it's almost impossible to be jealous about the Japanese, they are too polite and likeable. Go out and buy her her daily som tam (25 baht). But most important of all: NEVER BE PATHETIC! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
playtheblues Posted May 17, 2009 Report Share Posted May 17, 2009 ..some pompous semantics up there when i reread it. All I can say is that I don't live up to all that coolness... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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