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It started innocently

panadolsandwich

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panadolsandwich

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It started innocently I suppose. I’d tired of the bar scene. The girls I wanted were the most reluctant ones, the more the reluctant the better. I was often successful. To me, I’d satiated myself with so many girls that I started to seek something a bit more exotic. I’d go with the waiting staff. I’d go with girls that wore glasses, or had arm casts or walked on crutches, I took the mamasans. I wasn’t fussy, I just wanted something different. I wasn’t looking for anything permanent, just playing around I suppose.

 

A little bit about me. I reside in Australia, but both my parents are immigrants from a Nordic country. I’ve never had a problem getting a girlfriend in Australia. I’ve got the stereotypical blonde hair and blue eyes. I work out at the gym everyday; I’m fit. I’m twenty eight. My parents have given me a generous allowance until lately, I recently finished medicine and I’m a practicing doctor at a well established practice in Australia. Sounds like a perfect life doesn’t it? Well when you read this sad story you might change your mind.

 

I tired of western girls. Basically what I wanted was one of those girls that model on Thai TV, those half Thai half European girls. I wanted that more than life itself – I suppose like most of Thailand wanted as well. I went to a tailor on Sukhumvit Road and got an immaculate suit in about a week – then I went to Siam Paragon cruising for chicks. It wasn’t easy at first. I think I must have traumatized a few girls which I’m so sorry about! But then I hit on a method that was almost too good to be true. I was sleeping with girls every night, but they weren’t like the girls on TV, close, but no cigar as they say.

 

That’s when I met Torn (not her real name). I thought she was working as a sales girl at the shop when I approached her. She was just like those models on TV, she was an absolute vision. I asked her out for a coffee and she was very demur, but I used my sense of humour to kind of cajole her into it. I couldn’t believe my luck when she kind of reluctantly agreed! We had such a fantastic time. We had dinner, then went bowling. She insisted on paying for the bowling, since I had paid for dinner. She presented this Osmium credit card, seemingly minted by Gods. We had the most wild abandoned sex that I think I’ve ever been privileged in this world to have. We parted, but we exchanged numbers and promised we’d call each other tomorrow.

 

At this point I think I should tell you that I did the Linguaphone course, and being in Thailand for so much time I could talk Thai reasonably fluently. I’d loafed around Bangkok for a couple of years at my parents expense before I finished my degree. With Torn I was reluctant to reveal this knowledge to her, and she spoke excellent English anyway so it wasn’t a big deal.

 

She called me the next day but I didn’t answer the phone, not wanting to seem desperate. I called her a couple of days later. She was a bit pissed off, but glad to hear from me. She invited me over to her house. This I wasn’t prepared for. It turned out that she was the *owner* of the shop, and her Dad was some big shot in the Army, a General no less!

 

I wasn’t prepared for the house either. It was basically a compound with very grand walls surrounding it. When I was let in by the various servants I was stunned by the very grandeur of the house. Torn was there to meet me and she ran up the graveled drive like in some romantic movie to greet me. It was all very surreal.

 

I was introduced to her parents and to my complete bewilderment the General gave me a Wai. Being in Thailand for so long I’d learnt never to Wai anyone, I knew the score, but I quickly returned the Wai. He didn’t speak any English, but he told me in Thai I was very welcome here and that if I needed anything just say. I replied that I was honoured to even be in his company and that I appreciated his hospitality, which I did. Everyone was completely shocked to hear me speak fluently, but then they laughed and kind of rejoiced in my skill of language, ribbing me a bit for holding back, and made me feel like I was the king of the world.

 

Then the father kind of broke off all the joviality and said that I was more than worthy for his daughter, a doctor no less, and a fine student of the language and that we should be betrothed without any delay. I was I admit a bit out of it, because what the hell was happening? I took the speech with good grace. I had a European girl from Sweden that I wanted to marry in London that was practicing law, and I guess she was my fiancé and I had never even thought of kids, but then the General was kind of talking some nonsense about a dynasty – and I was central to his plans of marrying his second daughter and fathering my own brood of children for his cause. He further explained that my genes, his connections, and not to mention my western doctor’s salary would further the family and ensure that we would both enjoy an extremely prosperous future in partnership together. I was of course lost for words.

 

There was a party, but at one point the General took me aside. He had been drinking whisky the whole time and was clearly drunk. I didn’t really understand much of what he said but I gathered that the gist was don’t disappoint my daughter and if I ever did he would be my mortal enemy and do everything in his power etc. I didn’t understand much of that vernacular Thai, but I’m fairly sure he intimated to me that if I double crossed him he would piss on my grave – and then he gave a kind of jocular demonstration pretending I was already bedded down on a raised garden on pretty flowering plants.

 

I took this extremely seriously when I got back to my hotel. I lied to Torn that I’d heard the terrible news that my Mother was seriously ill and I had to leave immediately. A fight ensued. She didn’t believe me, claimed she was pregnant and basically said she wanted to kill me. Bizarrely, somehow she knew about my London fiancé, god knows how. She left extremely angry – I minded suddenly thinking that Thai girls are the very behemoth and I’d somehow been drawn in to something that had got beyond my control – I needed time to regroup. Whilst I was frantically packing at my hotel to leave this country ASAP the police crashed through the door, they went straight for the frontispiece of my suitcase seemingly searching for drugs, had she planted drugs there?…. Part two coming….

 

 

 

 

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Flashermac Rookie

Flashermac

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<< Being in Thailand for so long I’d learnt never to Wai anyone, I knew the score >>

 

 

Cool, I didn't realise that! 30+ years and I still wai people. I used to wai the prince I worked with, as well as the deputy supreme commander's daughter and several other generals' daughters who were my colleagues. I even wai proles when I feel like it. The charwomen at the uni all love me for it. :D

 

This is obviously a novel, right? Want to hear about a guy who really did get frog marched to the airport after he seduced a general's 15 year old daughter? Happened 30 years ago and he was told he'd be dead meat if he ever returned. But the farking idiot did 10 years later. Fortunately, no one noticed he was back - though it shocked the hell out of us who knew about it.

 

This is too good to be true ... but has elements of familiar events in it. I can't wait to read part 2. :D

 

p.s. CW - I'm used to being ignored, so no problem. ;)

 

 

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